If you're off with sick, is it crass to flood SM with pictures of what you're up to?

[MakeMineALarge1]

Just that really.

I work in a place that currently has a high incidents of stress and we have up to 20 people off with work related stress.

Now I get going for walks, out for lunch etc, can be great for you, but is it crass to put pictures on of all your weekends away, decorating your house and nights out?

It's different posting pictures of activities that help you manage stress / improve mental health, compared to a whole load of big nights out, endless cocktails and dancing til 3 in the morning.

That is how some people manage stress a day improve their mental health.

Solution: spend less time viewing your colleagues’ social media. It helps with those horrible comparison feelings.

Solution: spend less time viewing your colleagues’ social media. It helps with those horrible comparison feelings.

And remember: the grass usually appears greener on the other side because its fertilised with bullshit.

Social media isn't real, a smiling photo doesn't mean that there is a whole other side of the story that you're not seeing.

Most social media posts are crass. They are designed to get positive reinforcement based on social niceties and as such are very much look at me and I think largely damaging to people’s mental health. But I don’t think it is any better or worse if you are off with stress. In fact I understand the desire for extra positive reinforcement at that time. I think it’s crass and cruel to judge people as if there’s a better way of behaving when you’re stressed/depressed.
Yes it is open to abuse - most systems are and the judgement of the few abusing the system always impacts the ones who really need it far more.

I don't think anyone is necessarily saying people off with stress shouldn't do any of these things, more that it is likely to land badly with the colleagues now even more stressed picking up their work.
As has been said, social media is a snapshot, they may only be sharing the good and not the bad, but it is out there deliberately to convey this to others about their lives.
So yes, I think presenting 'my life is great' while on sick leave is a stupid and thoughtless thing to do. If your work is causing you stress, be guaranteed you aren't the only one feeling this way and on a bad day dealing with double work load is unlikely to make you feel great when you check FB at the end of the day.
Anyone that can't see that is self absorbed in my opinion

It's a solution but if everyone decided to stop viewing other people's pictures on SM, maybe people will stop posting. Afterall, people post for others to look and like/comment. The validation releases the dopamine fix.

It would be a weird cycle for the onlookers to stop because it would affect the posters. I doubt that's the solution the posters want.

@Clocktopus

I think its between the.person, their doctor, and their manager as to why they are off sick and its between them and their doctor what duties (if any) they're able to undertake. When it comes to stress and other mental health difficulties it can be beneficial to temporarily remove a source of stress so that there is one less thing on that person's plate. As a PP said, they're sign off work not life and if socialising, exercising, going away, etc is aiding their recovery then they're well within their rights to do so.

There is a contingent on MN who seem to think that being signed off sick means you should sit in a darkened room, preferably wearing sackcloth and ashes, and think about nothing except how quickly you can get back to work. It's toxic presenteeism at its worst.

Well said, I think.

I agree it's tactless. And when I've been off work with anxiety and depression I've always been so unwell that things like decorating were beyond my capacity.

It's different posting pictures of activities that help you manage stress / improve mental health, compared to a whole load of big nights out, endless cocktails and dancing til 3 in the morning.

So having a night out, drinking and dancing don’t relieve stress?

It's crass.
Because it shows a lack of self-awareness about other people's feelings.
And it's not about the employer but the feelings of colleagues who have to cover and may be on the brink of breakdown themselves.

OTOH people know who the piss-takers are. Never mind the MN bullshit about 'not judging'. There's nothing for them to be 'stressed' about anyway because they do as little work as possible to begin with.

If you don't want to be judged don't post on SM. If a photo is on SM I have every right to judge and will do so.

It is absolutely tone deaf, yes do whatever activities help you through your illness but don't put it all on sm when your poor colleagues are probably over worked and stressed.

@RachelHasThoseInBurgundy

It's different posting pictures of activities that help you manage stress / improve mental health, compared to a whole load of big nights out, endless cocktails and dancing til 3 in the morning.

So having a night out, drinking and dancing don’t relieve stress?

Alcohol is a clinical depressant and makes stress worse. So no. People do use alcohol (like food) to cope with stress but this is unhealthy and if they were off sick with stress they should be trying to break these habits not carrying on.

Alcohol is a clinical depressant and makes stress worse. So no.
People do use alcohol (like food) to cope with stress but this is unhealthy and if they were off sick with stress they should be trying to break these habits not carrying on.

Ahh, so they’re being sick wrong, that’s the problem you have with them having cocktails? Sure, it is.

@JaniieJones

It is absolutely tone deaf, yes do whatever activities help you through your illness but don't put it all on sm when your poor colleagues are probably over worked and stressed.

Exactly

If they're signed off from work with work-related stress then they're signed off from WORK. They're not signed off from life.

Some of the attitudes on this thread highlight exactly why some people with mental health issues feel guilty being seen going to the shop or going to the park because there's always an office arsehole who's likely to go gossiping and deciding what they think is appropriate for colleagues to be doing.

And it's not about theemployerbut the feelings of colleagues who have to cover and may be on the brink of breakdown themselves
If colleagues are on the brink of a breakdown themselves then they need to see a doctor, get medically assessed and take their own circumstances from there, not fester over what they've seen on social media.

I think I would be more concerned with a work place that currently has 20 people off with work related stress...I would find it difficult to judge one of these 20 staff members for what they post on SM. Is anybody looking into the reasons for such a high number of work related stress??

I think it's unbelievably crass but I think part of that depends on your industry.

I work in a small team of 4 on a farm. We don't have tonss of people to call on if someone is sick. The animals still need to be fed. I wouldn't care two hoots about a colleague being off with work stress and doing any of those things in private to recover. I would be incredibly disappointed to see it on social media. It would ruin our team morale and cause an awful lot of friction.

@LolaSmiles

If they're signed off from work with work-related stress then they're signed off from WORK. They're not signed off from life.

Some of the attitudes on this thread highlight exactly why some people with mental health issues feel guilty being seen going to the shop or going to the park because there's always an office arsehole who's likely to go gossiping and deciding what they think is appropriate for colleagues to be doing.

And it's not about theemployerbut the feelings of colleagues who have to cover and may be on the brink of breakdown themselves
If colleagues are on the brink of a breakdown themselves then they need to see a doctor, get medically assessed and take their own circumstances from there, not fester over what they've seen on social media.

Yes and no one would expect anyone to sit alone in a darkened room for 6 weeks or however long their GP has signed them off for.

If however you are one of the ones covering their shifts, doing 12 hrs hard graft and happen fo see them out partying it jars. Show some sensitivity and a teensy bit of awareness.

I think it’s generally advised that you hide/unfollow anything you don’t want to see on SM.

Yes I think it's pretty insensitive especially if your colleagues are left to cover your work as well.
Not suggesting anybody just sits at home but wouldn't you use a bit of common sense before uploading everything onto social media?
I guess most social media overcharges don't have any though!

You can be signed off for stress/depression and still be entitled to do stuff like decorating,going etc

I know someone who was signed off work following 2 miscarriages with depression and she got hauled over hot coals for posting "happy smiling make up clad selfies" on social media and for being seen in a supermarket with her partner shopping by a work colleague;ive never heard anything so disgusting or unprofessional;I don't think it's even legal to be reprimanded for that.

Tbh people like with attitudes yours like seeing it as crass isn't helping.

@Cuck00soup

Even more crass fraudulent to go off sick from your NHS job but carry on with your bar job.

That's not fraudulent at all.

@thenewduchessofhastings

You can be signed off for stress/depression and still be entitled to do stuff like decorating,going etc

I know someone who was signed off work following 2 miscarriages with depression and she got hauled over hot coals for posting "happy smiling make up clad selfies" on social media and for being seen in a supermarket with her partner shopping by a work colleague;ive never heard anything so disgusting or unprofessional;I don't think it's even legal to be reprimanded for that.

Tbh people like with attitudes yours like seeing it as crass isn't helping.

Similar happened to me when I was signed off for mental health reasons. A colleague reported seeing me laughing with friends in a pub, and told my manager that I "did not look depressed".

@Thestreets

I think I would be more concerned with a work place that currently has 20 people off with work related stress...I would find it difficult to judge one of these 20 staff members for what they post on SM. Is anybody looking into the reasons for such a high number of work related stress??

I assume it's NHS tbh. I'm NHS (currently looking to leave, and the stress related absence is through the roof right now. Everyone is burnt out.

I've got mixed feelings.
When I was off work after a serious RTC I documented my progress on Facebook, largely for myself, so I had a record of everything. Even now it helps me when I get a memory pop up and I see where I am now compared to, say, 2 years ago. It also reduced the number of individual enquiries I got. Whilst those are nice, when you are feeling rotten, it can be very wearing to have the same conversations over and over again, so I did use Facebook as a way to keep friends and family updated.
I am sure that as I improved there were people thinking "well if she can go out for meals or ride her bike she could be at work" but I knew that wasn't the case so frankly I didn't care. You can't win anyway. If you're seen out and about doing things you're swinging the lead, but if you're not, then you're not doing enough to aid your recovery. Someone will always find fault.
On the other hand, in this particular circumstance it might be seen as a bit insensitive by other colleagues. However, maybe if they see the improvement in this woman's well being that getting away from work has brought about, it may motivate them to take action for themselves?