If you're off with sick, is it crass to flood SM with pictures of what you're up to?

[MakeMineALarge1]

Just that really.

I work in a place that currently has a high incidents of stress and we have up to 20 people off with work related stress.

Now I get going for walks, out for lunch etc, can be great for you, but is it crass to put pictures on of all your weekends away, decorating your house and nights out?

I'm not sure what you're trying to pick holes in, and frankly I cba to engage. For whatever reason, you're very defensive about people pointing out that drinking "endless" cocktails (I.e. drinking to the point of drunkeness) is not actually beneficial for people suffering with poor mental health.

'such insight.'

Yes it comes from years of observed experience sadly.

@CSJobseeker

I'm not sure what you're trying to pick holes in, and frankly I cba to engage. For whatever reason, you're very defensive about people pointing out that drinking "endless" cocktails (I.e. drinking to the point of drunkeness) is not actually beneficial for people suffering with poor mental health.

A lot of people refuse to accept the effect of alcohol on mental health and that excessive drinking can be a coping mechanism. Which someone trying to recover from stress should be avoiding

@CSJobseeker

I'm not sure what you're trying to pick holes in, and frankly I cba to engage. For whatever reason, you're very defensive about people pointing out that drinking "endless" cocktails (I.e. drinking to the point of drunkeness) is not actually beneficial for people suffering with poor mental health.

You are engaging

Anyway, I don’t actually drink, so have no skin in the game, as it were. I was asking why you implying someone had suggested it was a couple of drinks, when no one had. You don’t have to answer. I was just asking.

@Calmdown14

I don't think anyone is necessarily saying people off with stress shouldn't do any of these things, more that it is likely to land badly with the colleagues now even more stressed picking up their work. As has been said, social media is a snapshot, they may only be sharing the good and not the bad, but it is out there deliberately to convey this to others about their lives. So yes, I think presenting 'my life is great' while on sick leave is a stupid and thoughtless thing to do. If your work is causing you stress, be guaranteed you aren't the only one feeling this way and on a bad day dealing with double work load is unlikely to make you feel great when you check FB at the end of the day. Anyone that can't see that is self absorbed in my opinion

This.

Of course someone ill with stress should do whatever they need to do to help themselves to recover and feel better. But they don’t need to rub their colleagues noses in it, particularly when they are picking up the slack and likely feeling a huge amount of stress themselves as a result.

If however you are one of the ones covering their shifts, doing 12 hrs hard graft and happen fo see them out partying it jars. Show some sensitivity and a teensy bit of awareness

If you don't have the physical or mental energy to cover additional shifts, tell your employer no. You're not obliged to do additional hours above your contracted hours and you shouldn't be doing more than a maximum of 48hrs a week.

I think it's crass putting those things on social media regardless. But I think when off with stress enjoying yourself is pretty much the only cute!

*cure not cute

I think it would be tactless to post those as pictures as well, seems contrary to being off sick. I appreciate that doing normal, every day things helps people to recover, but there’s ‘recovery’ and ‘ taking the p.ss’

I agree with you OP. Of course they need to do what they can to get better but it’s a little insensitive to be posting all over social media when everyone else has to pick up their slack at work.

Its crass and tone deaf towards your colleagues who are covering your absence. But doesn't necessarily mean they are faking it.
If its work causing the stress (bullying, traumatic event, stressful workload etc) you might be perfectly fine going out to town, but step foot over the work threshold and the thought of facing whatever is causing you stress can exacerbate it.
Colleague was off with stress. just coming on to the premises caused her massive panic attacks and chest pain (referred gastric pain) this was following a traumatic event at work.
Was she faking it? no. Could she function outside work? yes. What was she supposed to do. lock herself in her house. Took a gradual return to work with support, before her body stopped activating a trauma response whenever she came near

When I had a work-related mental breakdown I refused to do anything or even leave the house. My husband practically dragged me out of the house one day to get some fresh air and sunlight and drove us to the beach. I really enjoyed that day and he took a picture of me smiling. Not a fake smile, but a genuine smile for the first time in weeks.

I posted it on my Facebook as I knew my family were worried about my mental health and lots of them posted nice messages about how it was good to see my smiling again. Really helped my depression.

One of my colleges wrote under it "nice for some. Busting my arse off in work covering a double shift due to someone being off, hint hint."

That comment really pushed me over the edge. I wasn't trying to rub her face in it that I was off, I posted one picture of me at the beach after months of feeling miserable.

Well, it is your fault, you only need to stop checking their feeds and unfollow them in social media. If you feel aggressive by doing so you can silence their accounts for months to avoid getting notifications from them. Really simple.

Personally, I have a more peaceful life by not accepting any friends requests from work ever.

A lot of people refuse to accept the effect of alcohol on mental health and that excessive drinking can be a coping mechanism. Which someone trying to recover from stress should be avoiding

The only issue I took with your post, is that it implies the person couldn’t claim their night out was stress relieving because it included alcohol. Which of course is nonsense. Nothing to do with denial of the impact of alcohol on mental health.

Probably crass to put everything you do on SM even if not off sick! But yes, does seem like rubbing it in a bit!

@Iliketeaagain

It shouldn't make any difference, that doesn't mean that it doesn't.

For staff who are left picking up the pieces when we can't find cover (nearly impossible in the roles I manage due to the skill set required) it doesn't leave the best feeling or people feeling particularly sympathetic when people off with stress post themselves having a great old time while everyone else is under pressure. It's different posting pictures of activities that help you manage stress / improve mental health, compared to a whole load of big nights out, endless cocktails and dancing til 3 in the morning.

compared to a whole load of big nights out, endless cocktails and dancing til 3 in the morning.

For some people this is literally their way of managing stress.

Do you think there should be a specific list of designated "stress relieving" activities people should do, that they aren't allowed to deviate from?

I get that sticking it all over social media can be a bit crappy, but actually doing these things shouldn't be an issue.

'For some people this is literally their way of managing stress'

If you're well enough for 'big nights out until 3am' you are well enough to work.

Also, to those picking up the slack and doing extra shifts, you are absolutely not obligated to play martyr and do these things to the detriment of your own health. That includes volunteering for more work on your desk too and if your employer kicks up a stink about it then there is always HR.

Get your employer to pull their finger out and find cover if it is so desperately needed!

I think the wise solution, if you must post, is to filter out colleagues, employers, etc and only post for people you trust/friends and family.

@JaniieJones

'For some people this is literally their way of managing stress'

If you're well enough for 'big nights out until 3am' you are well enough to work.

I find going on a night out far less stressful than working. That's the whole point when someone is off with stress,

@BiscoffAddict

I think we all know that most GPS hand out sick notes like sweets though, and it’s really hard to prove that someone has ‘stress’ medically so if someone says they feel stressed who is the Gp to argue? This kind of piss taking is rife in the public sector and it is always the same people in my experience. I know one serial offender who was off for six months with ‘stress’ and then made a miraculous recovery when her pay was dropped.

Shows how little you know and how out of touch you are they havent been called sick notes for over a decade so Im pretty sure your opinion can be safely disregarded and is mainly made up of sensationalist headlines and pre conceived ideas

@JaniieJones

'For some people this is literally their way of managing stress'

If you're well enough for 'big nights out until 3am' you are well enough to work.

Again, I think some peoples work might have different requirements than a night out does.

I don't follow work colleagues on sm, nor would I use it against them like the Gestapo.

People might be posting historical pics, I don't know the full story, but I don't think they're rubbing it in as they're not even thinking about you and nor should they. Their page, their lives..

@Willow231

When I had a work-related mental breakdown I refused to do anything or even leave the house. My husband practically dragged me out of the house one day to get some fresh air and sunlight and drove us to the beach. I really enjoyed that day and he took a picture of me smiling. Not a fake smile, but a genuine smile for the first time in weeks.

I posted it on my Facebook as I knew my family were worried about my mental health and lots of them posted nice messages about how it was good to see my smiling again. Really helped my depression.

One of my colleges wrote under it "nice for some. Busting my arse off in work covering a double shift due to someone being off, hint hint."

That comment really pushed me over the edge. I wasn't trying to rub her face in it that I was off, I posted one picture of me at the beach after months of feeling miserable.

Your colleague was a dick and wanted to martyr herself. She could have easily chose NOT to do that extra shift, just like everyone on this thread can too. Covering is not YOUR or THEIR problem. That's down to management.

It is truly a shame that so many people have this attitude and I hope most of you get to experience it one day and realise how awful it actually is.

@SmellyLikeABlewBooHoo

I think the wise solution, if you must post, is to filter out colleagues, employers, etc and only post for people you trust/friends and family.

That is, when you're off sick.

I think there's no need for them to see you, unless you want them to for some reason.