If you're off with sick, is it crass to flood SM with pictures of what you're up to?

[MakeMineALarge1]

Just that really.

I work in a place that currently has a high incidents of stress and we have up to 20 people off with work related stress.

Now I get going for walks, out for lunch etc, can be great for you, but is it crass to put pictures on of all your weekends away, decorating your house and nights out?

@Nietzschethehiker

I think it can vary depending on the role. At one time the roles I did were incredibly emotionally intensive. It was practically a given that at some point people would have time off after burnout. The nature of the role lent itself to it. Very often before burnout people were working solidly , emotionally giving everything they had and just living to function at work. The senior team would do everything in their power to help but the nature of the role led to emotional and psychological behaviours that would lead to burnout. Almost across the board.

So to be honest it was a good sign when people started to post positive things. For the initial period of sickness they would almost recover in a darkened room. Then if they started going out and experiencing life it was a sign they were looking after themselves and there was no judgement at all. It was so common 8t was just an understanding that its what people needed to do, they almost started to remember they were a person. It was effectively part of the process for people to be able to do the role long term even with counselling and support whilst in work. The nature of what we heard daily was brutal and it took its toll.

In the role I am in now, the same burnout doesn't exist in the same way. We are all WFH and always have been before Covid. Whilst there is stress its not the kind to legitimately drop you to break down levels without other things happening at home etc. So yes it would be inappropriate to post having a great time on sick leave.

Depends on the role and the person. You don't know what has happened behind closed doors. I am aware of a colleague who lost a lot of family members in Covid and I would love to see them enjoying any part of life while off purely because they have been through so bloody much.

Exactly it depends

@MrsAvocet

On the subject of holidays whilst off sick, remember that it is possible to take annual leave whilst you're on long term sick leave. That's what I did. I spent a week in the sun about 6 months after a serious accident. My surgical team and psychologist all advised me that it would be therapeutic so I spoke to HR, got the ok, and they took a week out of my AL allowance and paid me full pay for the week. I'm not sure it was terribly therapeutic actually - the hassle of getting crutches, controlled drugs etc through the airport and the general stress and tiredness caused by travelling certainly undid some of the benefits and I couldn't actually do much when I got there. It was one of those things that seemed like a great idea and I was very excited to do, but reality didn't quite live up to expectations. However, it was completely above board and done with my employer's full knowledge. I didn't feel the need to share all those details with everyone who vaguely knows me though so I expect a few colleagues were bitching about me having fun in the sun. Some of the people described on this thread could be just the same, you just cant know.

I was told the opposite. I told work that I felt going on my preplanned week (in the UK just over 2 hours drive away) would be beneficial (and it was) and that I was happy to take it as annual leave but HR said I couldn't as I was signed off. Work are kindly letting me use my remaining leave to keep my weeks shorter and more manageable for my recovery.

I think you may have been misinformed ElephantOfRisk.
I've attached a screenshot from the ACAS website on this subject which is exactly what my employer told me.

@MrsAvocet

I think you may have been misinformed ElephantOfRisk. I've attached a screenshot from the ACAS website on this subject which is exactly what my employer told me.

That makes sense, our HR are generally not the best. In terms of money it makes no difference to me as I was paid regardless of what it was classed as. However it obviously used up some of my sick leave that I may need later (but could use holidays instead I suppose!).

I'm hoping that I wont ever need a period off like I did before but I am struggling a bit so might have to start looking for something else anyway. At least until DC finish Uni and I can think about retirement.

Sorry to hear that Elephant. My HR dept weren't great either. They did give me accurate info but I had to ask for it (sometimes repeatedly) or research first myself, no helpful info was actually volunteered.
I really wanted to use AL for my holiday for psychological reasons rather than financial (didn't want to feel I was off having fun whilst I was receiving sick pay) but there are financial impacts at times. For example employers are only required to allow 4 weeks AL accrued during sickness to be carried over a leave year, so if you are off for a long time and are normally entitled to more than 4 weeks AL its probably in your best interests to take some leave during your sickness absence - though as you say, also sensible to have some "spare" to ease your return. It's all a bit of a minefield and not something most of us think about until we find ourselves in these unfortunate circumstances!

@MrsAvocet

Sorry to hear that Elephant. My HR dept weren't great either. They did give me accurate info but I had to ask for it (sometimes repeatedly) or research first myself, no helpful info was actually volunteered. I really wanted to use AL for my holiday for psychological reasons rather than financial (didn't want to feel I was off having fun whilst I was receiving sick pay) but there are financial impacts at times. For example employers are only required to allow 4 weeks AL accrued during sickness to be carried over a leave year, so if you are off for a long time and are normally entitled to more than 4 weeks AL its probably in your best interests to take some leave during your sickness absence - though as you say, also sensible to have some "spare" to ease your return. It's all a bit of a minefield and not something most of us think about until we find ourselves in these unfortunate circumstances!

Agree, I mean I got to age 55 without ever even had a sick/fit note but according to some posters on here, I should have chucked my job and got a different one or refused to be paid or whatever. My employer isn't great to let it get this far to be honest but at least they are trying now. HR dept are generally poor and just keep referring everything back to managers who strangely enough are not HR experts.

It's fine to do those things while off sick for stress if you are improving your mental health.
It's tactless to post it on social media.
Think about the colleagues who are having to absorb the extra duties of the person off sick as workplaces never seem to bring in temps in my experience..
I've lost count of the times I've had to do my own job and the bulk of someone else's (for no extra pay of course). That was pre social media but I would have felt pretty aggrieved to see the ill person advertising themselves as living it up, going on holiday etc, while I was being overworked covering for them.

I was off for about 8 months with depression, anxiety, and stress a few years ago. I was able to go out and about after a few months, and even went on a family trip. My GP and counsellor both recommended these things. I also took up cycling (for fun/exercise/endorphins) and painting (an evening class), to try and get some structure back to life too.
I was careful about who I told, and also I did not really post on social media. I thought it was unwise, and also, would only show snapshots, which probably wouldn’t be understood.
I’d say, like others, that it is unwise, and potentially would have a workplace consider (likely incorrectly) that you were a fraud. If you had a broken leg, it wouldn’t necessarily stop you having a friend around for coffee. It should be the same for mental health. I wouldn’t do the posting/making it so public, however.

@BrieAndChilli

I don’t understand long term stress. Surely if the job is causing you so much stress that you can’t even think about working there for 6 months than surely you resign and find another job that won’t cause the same stress!

You’re very fortunate, if you can’t imagine how one might find themselves in this position. People can be in this position for all sorts of reasons, and can recover well. I am one of those.

@Bambi77

Everything runs people's faces in it on social media yes but in my own opinion I dont want to see it when colleagues are off sick baking cakes etc. Just live lives off social media

Unfollow them then. I would be worried about someone who normally posts on social media that went silent on it when off sick, especially if they were off for mental health reasons.

Not crass, but a bit unwise. I do think that people in general put far too much about themselves on social media. It's up to them of course; but I would suggest that people might be wise to post as though one of their casual FB friends might turn out to be their boss's partner (this really did happen to me, and I was glad that I'd never posted much detail about myself).

Some people on this thread have said there is no stigma around mental health, but I really can’t imagine people posting some of the things they have said about being off with stress about people who are off with another illness.
Eg: “ It's fine to do those things while off sick with cancer if you are improving your health.
It's tactless to post it on social media.
Think about the colleagues who are having to absorb the extra duties of the person off sick as workplaces never seem to bring in temps in my experience.”

If people are off sick with a physical illness people rarely complain about picking up the slack or about how long they’re off but as soon as people are off with mental health issues suddenly they need to start being sensitive to their colleagues and consider how their absence is effecting their workload as if having a mental illness is a choice or even some sort of luxury. Would posting pictures of days out be rubbing your colleagues faces in it if you had cancer or is it only mental health issues which people think are somehow enviable enough that those suffering need to hide anything good in their lives to ensure their colleagues don’t feel jealous?

Completely agree angst. Well said.

I don’t understand long term stress. Surely if the job is causing you so much stress that you can’t even think about working there for 6 months than surely you resign and find another job that won’t cause the same stress!

(!) It's not always that easy to just find another job that won't cause the same stress! If it were, more people would be doing it. Jobs, especially relatively non-stressful ones, don't grow on trees.

(2) It may not be that your job is causing the stress, but that your existing stress is making you unable to do the job properly or perhaps at all. Just like you may not be able to do your job if you've broken your leg; but that doesn't usually mean that you broke your leg at work.

One problem is that in this sort of context, any mental health problem tends to be labelled as 'stress', partly because, understandably, people and their employers tend to avoid giving lots of public detail about their mental health problems. People with bipolar disorder or severe depression may be temporarily unable to cope with work-related stresses, but this doesn't mean that their illness is just about stress.

There are piss-takers around, but in my experience they tend to be people who find excuses for lots of short-term absences, and always suddenly have the flu on Mondays and Fridays, rather than those on longer-term sick leave, who must undergo much more scrutiny and health checks. I don't think there's much one can do even about the former, especially right at the moment: I'd rather that someone left me to take up the slack for their absence, than came in sick and gave me Covid! But it shouldn't be taken out on the longer-term sick.

The other thing some people seem to be incapable of understanding is that, especially after a major injury or illness you don't go from being bedbound to fit for work overnight, it's a gradual process. There will be points in your rehabilitation where you can do some activities reasonably normally but not necessarily a full day's work, day after day.

Spot on. I was off for 7 weeks recovering from my hysterectomy - it was a very gradual process. If I was relatively active on one day, I'd then be bed-bound the next day to make up for it. I actually took 6 months to feel properly normal but I was well enough to work (desk job) after 7 weeks. If I hadn't got up and done things during that 7 weeks I'd have taken much longer to gradually rebuild my strength and get my core muscles to the stage where I could sit upright without pain.

Fortunately I am not on social media!

@MolkosTeenageAngst

Some people on this thread have said there is no stigma around mental health, but I really can’t imagine people posting some of the things they have said about being off with stress about people who are off with another illness. Eg: “ It's fine to do those things while off sick with cancer if you are improving your health. It's tactless to post it on social media. Think about the colleagues who are having to absorb the extra duties of the person off sick as workplaces never seem to bring in temps in my experience.”

If people are off sick with a physical illness people rarely complain about picking up the slack or about how long they’re off but as soon as people are off with mental health issues suddenly they need to start being sensitive to their colleagues and consider how their absence is effecting their workload as if having a mental illness is a choice or even some sort of luxury. Would posting pictures of days out be rubbing your colleagues faces in it if you had cancer or is it only mental health issues which people think are somehow enviable enough that those suffering need to hide anything good in their lives to ensure their colleagues don’t feel jealous?

Really well said.

Honestly, who can say they have signed a card or contributed to a collection for a colleague that is off with stress/mental health?
I haven't, and I have never had a card or collection done for me when I have been of for MH reasons. I have signed cards, given money for people off with cancer, having surgery, bereavement etc.... my workplace even did one for someone who fell over when running for the bus and had to have dental work done (I didn't contribute to that one!).

If you have a colleague who is off with "stress" (because it is used as an umbrella term), and they post a picture of their baking on social media... rather than get in a huff, maybe comment and say how fab their cakes look and you would love to try one some day. Lift them up. Such a comment could make their day when their own thoughts are against them.

If people are off sick with a physical illness people rarely complain about picking up the slack or about how long they're off
Actually that hasn't been my experience. I don't doubt it is worse with a solely mental health issue, but I started getting negativity pretty much from the day I first went outside without crutches.
Being long term sick is very revealing. I've been terribly shocked by how some people have behaved towards me, but, to be fair, amazed by the support of others who I really didn't have any expectations of.

I decorated and went for walks and lunches out when I was off sick a few months ago

If anybody had judged me.. well they can fuck right off..my husband had just died and me and my dds were desperately trying to piece our world back together

I think I would get most cross if people are posting photos of activities to do with why they are off sick. Eg hurt your ankle, and then posting pictures of a 10k run, whilst you were still off sick.

Yeah, you're being absolutely ridiculous. Work is work and being a slave to the system is crass; wanting to perform well only for work and not yourself, is crass. Someone's own, personal SM accounts are their own to do with what they want however they see fit. The fact you're even implying it could be crass to enjoy yourself during time off from work and then post about it to friends and family, is crass in itself. Just let people be.

@JaniieJones

I think the inconvenient truth is we all know if you are well enough to socialise excessively you are well enough to go to work.

Indeed

Yes and no, depends on why they off. I know someone that was off sick as her a back issue. He said he couldn't walk to floor or sit at a till point for longer than 30 mins at a times but his Facebook was full of sitting on a plane for hours at a time to go abroad, or photos of him walking around places.