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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour and neighbour’s friend parking on my driveway without asking

482 replies

changeyourname11111 · 06/11/2021 07:17

About a week ago I looked out of the window one afternoon and noticed that my neighbour’s car was on my drive.

I went round to ask about it and he said that the lady who lives next to him was having people over (weekly occurrence - a bridge party) and that one of her friends had asked to park on his drive so he had parked on mine. He said sorry, he had thought I was out at work Hmm.

The lady who lives next to him is very elderly and I get on with both her and my immediate neighbour so I said ok (not to this being regular though).

However this week, my kids (I am a single parent) were at home and texted me at work to say that there was a random car on our drive (on the same afternoon as the week before I think) and sent me a photo of it.

I assume that this is now the bridge friend parking on my drive, but am annoyed that no one asked for our permission.

The lady in question has her car on the street and a small drive of her own so I assume she must have had two friends over. There is pay and display across the street which is always free but on the other hand maybe the pay by phone is hard to navigate.

I’ve been really busy at work so wasn’t able to go round to either neighbour’s house, but today am
going to speak to both neighbours.

I am torn as to whether I should say just a blanket no to using our (small) drive (we don’t currently have a car), or whether I should say ok as long as they ask first (the lady has my number, my immediate neighbour doesn’t but I will give it to him). I have a feeling that if I say ask first they will not bother and just park there.

Anyway, aibu to think that it is really rude to do this?? Am lying in bed feeling increasingly annoyed about it Grin.

And would you ask them to ask first or just say a blanket no?

OP posts:
teagirl27 · 07/11/2021 18:37

20 years to establish it legally

unlikelytobe · 07/11/2021 18:38

Potential problems with this. Old lady hits your gateposts, drives onto your lawn, has a car that leaks oil onto your drive, tells friends to park there also, decides to leave it there for longer.... you're clearly not happy about this so nip it in the bud.

Your immediate NDN is worse than the old lady really. It's not for him to decide who can use your drive! He needs setting straight. Keep the note firm and clear.

teagirl27 · 07/11/2021 18:40

Sorry my '20 years to establish it legally' was in response to @myotherprofile question!

ZforZack · 07/11/2021 18:50

It’s a flat no from me , tell them both to bog off

DagenhamRoundhouse · 07/11/2021 19:07

Tell them to pay for the privilege!

Whatamess582 · 07/11/2021 19:14

Some people here are so uncharitable and seem to have no neighbourly sentiments at all.
Is it an inconvenience to you? Are you able to get in and out? If so…. Is it a real hardship to let your friendly elderly neighbour or her friend park in the car park to save a few pounds? It doesn’t sound like she is going to be telling all and sundry to park there every hour of the day and night.

Just go over say ‘ was that your friend’s car the other day?’ If it was the just say something like ‘ah ok, I thought so. That’s fine if it’s not too often, but would you just drop me a text when it’s going to happen so I am aware and that I can let you know if it’s convenient. It’s most likely totally fine but just give me a heads up!’

If it’s not convenient for you just say so.

We have a huge drive and our elderly neighbours have a steep hill which has water damage to it to get out of their drive. Sometimes their friends will ask to park in our driveway to avoid having to tackle it… or her son when he comes in the campervan. I have no issue with it and don’t think it’s CF-ery to do so as long as they ask.
However the neighbours on the other side, have huge family parties and park in the glade in front of our properties and block everyone getting in and out. I once had to wait 20 mins for them to find all their (drunken) friends and their car keys and move the cars. Not ok and if they parked IN my driveway I would probably call the police about an abandoned vehicle/trespasser….

StoneofDestiny · 07/11/2021 19:24

A firm no always!

If one crashes into gate posts, what if they crash into yours, your house or whatever? What a headache!
Get a penguin bollard and stop it in its tracks.

eastegg · 07/11/2021 19:31

@MyOtherProfile

You have to be careful, don't you? How long do people have to use your land before there's some kind of claim to having a right to it? Does anyone know about this?
I’m so glad you’ve asked, it touches on the only bit of land law I remember (criminal lawyer) as well as a lovely bit of legal Latin!

To establish what’s commonly known as squatters’ rights over someone else’s land, your use of the land has to be ‘nec vi, nec clam, nec precario’, in other words not by force, not in secret and not (and this is the important bit for this thread) with permission. So the neighbours don’t get any rights over the drive if OP is giving permission for it. She’s making it clear it’s still hers.

eastegg · 07/11/2021 19:33

Sorry about the Latin, I couldn’t resist. Bet you’re glad you asked 😁

MyOtherProfile · 07/11/2021 19:43

Really interesting @eastegg. Thanks for that.

MyOtherProfile · 07/11/2021 19:43

I never mind a bit of Latin 😆

Datsandcogs · 07/11/2021 19:44

Time to secure the drive and buy a webcam to monitor it.

eastegg · 07/11/2021 19:55

@MyOtherProfile

Really interesting *@eastegg*. Thanks for that.
No problem! I can’t vouch for my knowledge of land law being up to date, but I would hazard a guess it hasn’t changed. In fact with so much Tory government since I learnt it, if anything it will have got harder rather than easier to establish squatters rights!
Lovely13 · 07/11/2021 19:57

A kind but firm no to this. Ever. No need for any reasons or excuses, just no. Breathe and let them sort out their parking problems

Crawf2002 · 07/11/2021 20:02

Does it really matter your neighbour is very elderly and would presume her friends are. Yes they should have asked but if it’s bothering you that much just say to her nicely about someone parking in your drive and giving you the heads up. Sometimes people don’t think. Really in the grand scale of life.

Jaxxy · 07/11/2021 20:10

Hmm, can see both sides of this.

It sounds like too many assumptions being made by neighbour and elderly neighbour so I would allow it by agreeing with you in advance, , just explain that your kids were freaked by the random car and you want to be able to manage this.

Also you may have your own visitors, god forbid!

nonevernotever · 07/11/2021 20:36

@saturdaysummer *"It's Scottish law that you can claim land you have maintained for ten years"

You can't just occupy it. the ten years has to be founded on a deed registered in the sasine register or the land register. Land then has to be occupied peaceably and without judicial interruption for ten years from the date of registration before it becomes yours.The original deed is called an a non domino title.

Jewel52 · 07/11/2021 22:57

Personally wouldn’t want random people parking on my drive - seems presumptuous just because you don’t have a car. And the idea of receiving countless texts to say yay or nay on any particular day sounds like a load of hassle. It’s your drive for your guests.

fargo123 · 07/11/2021 23:00

It would be a firm 'no' from me based on the fact they have so arrogantly done it in the past without asking.

Age doesn't stop someone's from being a CF. Young CFs simply grow into old(er) CF, as this woman has clearly shown

Ddot · 07/11/2021 23:36

Ask first please.
If your out it will deter burglars, so win win

Pinkfluffyunicornsandrainbows · 07/11/2021 23:46

It would be a firm no from m

Pinkfluffyunicornsandrainbows · 07/11/2021 23:48

From me that should say, it may start out as once or twice a week but end up more and other neighbours asking (or not as it may be). I'd just say no, you don't need to explain yourself, it's your drive.

starfishmummy · 08/11/2021 01:54

@GunsNShips

Not sure what type of road you lead out onto, but could they park across the drive on the road? Just until you get a car obvs. Means no wear and tear on your drive, not risk of damage but still get somewhere to park?
They could park across the drive of the People they are visiting.

And like other posters if they are bumping into walls with their car I wouldn't want them on my property - plus cars sometimes leak oil which would ruin the drive.

MRex · 08/11/2021 06:45

Parking across the drive won't be helpful when OP wants to actually use it. There is parking on the other side of the road, there's simply no need for people to the themselves in knots making it OP's responsibility to help out. Half of you would have her paying their petrol costs too it seems.

Chocolatedip · 08/11/2021 07:41

My neighbour has a drive, but no car. Another neighbour started parking across her drive when there was no other space, now they all do it, even when there are spaces, as it's nearer their own homes. When the owner gets a taxi home with her shopping, it usually has to park several doors away and she struggles in with her bags. Half the neighbours don't even speak to her either! People love to take the piss if you don't address the problem some way or another.