Another toddler attacked and bit my child's face

[nova99]

Dd attends a local nursery and she came home today with a huge dark red bite mark covering half her cheek. Nursery called me in the afternoon to tell me this had happened. However when I went to collect her she had a the huge (very swollen) bite mark, a scratch on her head, a bloody scratch on her chin and a deep scratch that looks like it had been bleeding in the other side of her face with lots of little scratches around it.
She looks like she's been mauled and I'm absolutely horrified.
Nursery staff told me that another child had done this to her. However they said they could hear her crying and went to find her hiding in her sleep area and saw the marks. They were apologetic, said the child in question had bitten other children that day and they will be talking to the child's parents.
It just doesn't feel like enough. She's only just turned 2. She's a quiet, delicate little thing which makes this all the more heartbreaking.

I'm so angry. It's not like a few little scratches. I'll need to take her to the doctor for the scratch and the bite alone. She complained of pain in her cheek so I gave her calpol.

What can I even do? Who can I even complain to? I know kids rough and tumble but honestly this is something else

I think that I will be taking her out of the nursery. As many pp have stated, the real crux of the issue here is that she was found, cowering, after being attacked. No one saw the attack. Other children were bitten also. Why weren't they being watched? It's the lack of supervision.
In the past we have had issues. When my son was in the room a couple of years ago we caught a staff member absolutely screaming in another child's face, telling them to behave. This happened twice with the same member of staff. It was vile. We asked for a meeting and reported it the second time.

This was before covid, when we were allowed in the nursery. Now we can't go in and we collect the children at the door, so we can't see the environment or the staff.

When my son was in the room a couple of years ago we caught a staff member absolutely screaming in another child's face, telling them to behave. This happened twice with the same member of staff. It was vile. We asked for a meeting and reported it the second time.

Hang on, you're going to take her out because a two year old bit her but you were happy to keep both your children in a nursery where the staff scream at the children?

I had my friends toddler and my DS, walked into to kitchen to put cup in and came back and friends toddler was in top of mine biting him, huge bite mark on his face.

They are still good friends 10 years later. It happens. The nursery are going to speak to the parents.

@Willyoujustbequiet

I too think some are minimising on here. If there is a pattern of behaviour then that child should be excluded. I'm sorry but it's not acceptable. Why should other children suffer.

This.

And I echo it as the parent of an autistic child who went through a biting phase at age 18 months - 2.5 years.

He never bit anybody at nursery thank god, just at home, but if he had then they would have been well within their rights to terminate his placement.

Children don't go to nursery to be attacked.

It's unfortunate if terminating a biting child's placement causes problems for the parents work but that's for them to deal with.

If a child is doing such damage that it requires medical treatment I’d be asking that he is monitored 1 on 1 or I’d find a different nursery. The nursery is responsible for children’s safety and they have clearly failed their duty.

Biting is a fairly common thing between 18mths and 3yr . The nursery will be working out what causes the biting by watching behaviour that lead up to it and by talking to parents to see if any changes have happened at home. Biting can be for a number of reasons such as emotional response such as anger or frustration, over excitement, wanting to play but not knowing boundaries, developmental language delays and SEN such as autism and sometimes just exploring cause and effect. All of these have to be worked out and then a way of managing it put in place. Some biters don’t even have an obvious trigger and will just bite randomly. Biting incidents can occur very quickly even with an adult close by and isn’t necessarily lack of supervision. The staff won’t want little ones hurt any more than their parents do.

I hope your child is recovering well. You need to have a chat with the room leader or manager to see what steps are being put in place to help prevent further incidents taking place so you can feel reassured that your child will be safe.

@nova99

I think that I will be taking her out of the nursery. As many pp have stated, the real crux of the issue here is that she was found, cowering, after being attacked. No one saw the attack. Other children were bitten also. Why weren't they being watched? It's the lack of supervision. In the past we have had issues. When my son was in the room a couple of years ago we caught a staff member absolutely screaming in another child's face, telling them to behave. This happened twice with the same member of staff. It was vile. We asked for a meeting and reported it the second time.

This was before covid, when we were allowed in the nursery. Now we can't go in and we collect the children at the door, so we can't see the environment or the staff.

Ah OP this happened to my little dd when she was tiny. I was actually there at the time and seen it. He grabbed her face and scratched all the way down it leaving deep red welts that bled. She was heartbroken and so was I. His mum was just slack jawed and asked him to apologise - which he didn't. We went on holiday shortly after and she had scabs all down her little face.How I didn't kick him I dont know ( Yes I know that's awful but that's how I felt at the time)

You are probably feeling really disturbed and over protective right now.

My dd was with me so I know it can happen quick but when we put our trust in professionals its down to them to put safe guarding measure in place so that the children are always visible and watched. They will have lots of policies that ensure this is supposed to happen such as adequate members of staff to ratio of kids and even down to positioning of member of staff so all children can be seen at once.

I would think about reporting to OFSTED and moving your DC.

for your dc

The fact that your daughter was unsupervised in the sleep area would concern me. Are the children left to sleep there. When my daughter was at nursery a member of staff remained with the sleeping children.

I remember my daughter coming home with a full top set and full bottom set of teeth marks in her cheek. I was horrified. I found it hard to understand as she was not a biter herself.

I would definitely get your daughter checked out medically at your gp. If you can’t get a docs appointment you may get a nurses one. I hope she’s ok and you too. No one wants to see teeth marks on their child’s face.

@Hardbackwriter we had a meeting with management and they assured us that this would not happen again. The member of staff herself was a room manager, highly experienced and a long standing member of staff. They said she would have some training.
I believed them? So yes we kept them in

@nova99 I'm not sure why you didn't look for another nursery after the shouting episode - but leaving that aside, young children can and do bite (one of mine was badly bitten by a friend's child when they were little - they were playing in the park at the time, with both of us present and paying attention).

However: the nursery's response is the thing. They're minimising what happened, and they didn't protect your daughter. I would write to say exactly why you are removing her, and I'd also be tempted to write to whoever is responsible for the nursery (depending on whether it's a private or Council nursery) to say the same. The staff are not taking adequate care of the children.

If the other child regularly bites others, I would refuse to have him back in the nursery. I hope your daughter recovers fully and quickly.

Oh no. I hope she is ok and isn't in too much pain.

I would take a photo and make a complaint to the nursery manager detailing what happened after you picked her up, such as doctors and any medicine.

Hope your DS is ok today @nova99
Can you go to urgent care today or walk-in? As pp have said she needs antibiotics and you need advice on scar prevention.

My nephew was a biter he was a snake in attack mode.
It's awful for your DD. I've never experienced it thankfully but understand how upsetting it is for you.

As a former nursery nurse, I'll give you my experience

Yes, children aged 2 do sometimes still bite, it's more common in the children aged 1 but some 2 year olds will still do this, it can be if they are teething or for a sensory need, maybe they can't communicate verbally.

I would be concerned that your daughter and the child were unsupervised and questioning that.

To the people saying demand 1:1 for the other child...please do ask if they will be putting someone with the other child 1:1, but expect that to be someone from within the nursery already and thereby reducing the ratios with the other children. There's no nursery that would employ or get agency staff in to work as a 1:1 after one incident. There just isn't the finances in nurseries to do this.

Definitely contact them and ask what they will be doing to protect your child and the others but also remember that toddlers are quick, the staff should be feeling really bad about this (I know I always felt terrible if a child had an accident whilst at nursery) and their hands are tied also as to what they can do

It's a private nursery, I pay private nursery fees but they also take funded children, so I'm guessing it's both?
They have an outstanding ofsted rating, so I may copy ofsted into the email if that's the way to go

Insist the other DC is fully monitored with a 1 on 1 if necessary.
My DS was a hitter in preschool he had a 1 on 1 aid to avoid him hitting another DC.

@nova99

I think that I will be taking her out of the nursery. As many pp have stated, the real crux of the issue here is that she was found, cowering, after being attacked. No one saw the attack. Other children were bitten also. Why weren't they being watched? It's the lack of supervision. In the past we have had issues. When my son was in the room a couple of years ago we caught a staff member absolutely screaming in another child's face, telling them to behave. This happened twice with the same member of staff. It was vile. We asked for a meeting and reported it the second time.

This was before covid, when we were allowed in the nursery. Now we can't go in and we collect the children at the door, so we can't see the environment or the staff.

I can't believe you left them there after that. The marks on the face will heal, the psychological scars from leaving a child in an environment where children have adults who are supposed to care for them screaming in their face, well who knows if they heal. I wouldn't have left my child there if I'd seen that once but seeing it twice!

I'm afraid this can sometimes be toddler behaviour. I agree it's extreme. Your DDs face will heal i'm sure.
Going forward I would hope that the nursery is putting in extra measures to watch this other chi, to try where possible to prevent it happening again.

The fact she was found injured would really annoy me that no one saw the incident happening.

I’m deeply concerned about the “We found her crying in the sleeping room” comment. This screams that there is a lack of supervision. They shouldn’t have HAD to find her. They should have known where she was at al times.

I would move nursery.

Do try to get her seen at a walk in or with an out of hours GP today. If the bite has broken the skin they will want to give her preventative antibiotics.

I'm so sorry this happened, it must be really shocking to see injuries like these on your daughter. Yes toddlers often go through a biting stage and yes, it is impossible with that staff to child ratio to prevent every single incident. That the staff have relayed to you that this child has bitten multiple other children in the same day would be the issue for me. Once staff were aware this was happening something should have been adjusted to ensure this child had closer supervision.

Insist the other DC is fully monitored with a 1 on 1 if necessary

You can't do that, they can't just magic up another staff member at your demand.
Speak to them and ask what they are doing, don't demand. I'm sure they are putting things in place now.
But don't be surprised if they won't tell you. You have no rights to know how other people's children are being supported, so if they just say "things are being put into place" you have to either accept that explanation or find another nursery.

Your poor child .

Toddlers can be savage, but I would be concerned no one saw this happen - that’s not ok.

A bite will probably require antibiotics as a precaution, please do seek medical attention as bacteria from the mouth can be particularly nasty.

I’d want a copy of the accident/incident report.

I’d also want to know why the child in question wasn’t being supervised more closely if they had already bitten someone that day.

My child was bitten on the back at nursery once. They told me when they got home and there was a big bite mark. Unfortunately no one at nursery witnessed it. When I told them what had happened and showed them the bike mark they were extremely apologetic. I was quite cross at the time but it was a one off and has never happened since.