Friend I haven't seen in 15 years wants to borrow money

[ONte]

Old childhood friend that I haven't seen for about 15 years. We were close at one point but she spread around some sensitive personal information about me as teens that caused me alot of upset and embarrassment. I forgave but never forgot iykwim.

Anyway we have one another on Facebook now and are both mothers, exchanging congratulations when our babies are born and occasionally having a little catch up.

Today she messaged me out of the blue asking if I can lend her £20 for gas as her children's father hasn't paid her and it's left her in a difficult position.

I know it's not much but we don't have alot of money, we live in an expensive (overpriced!) area and have been surviving on one wage since I had to stop working during my pregnancy due to health problems. Said pregnancy is now a 3 week old newborn.

I'm not sure I feel comfortable doing it as I've no way of guaranteeing she'll pay me back and £20 is two tubs of formula to me, I live 250 miles away now and she used to have form for borrowing things and not returning them (not money, clothes etc)

She does have a large family and I'm assuming other friends she can ask.

WWYD?

No, nope, never.

No, just say sorry I can't afford it and ignore further requests. She's using you, she's gone through all her family and friends and now you.

God no

Good decision.
I'd guess she's run out of friends and family to mooch off so she's casting her net wider

I would be suspicious that she had tapped out her friends and family.

This could be a Scam!!! Its a known scam going round on facebook please be careful.

No way.

Consider why she's coming to you now after this time - and not asking family/friends who she does see.

If it’ll leave you short, just say no. X

I say to her that have not the money at the moment. She lost contact with you for 15 years and is now in contact with you. Why can't she ask family or friends living close by for money? My feeling is that she borrowed money in the past and not paid it back.

I have helped friends out money wise where they had an unexpected expense but I knew they would pay it back say the after their next pay date. I only did this for friends I had known a long time.

Are you sure her account hasn’t need hacked? I had a message like this last year from a old friend, it turned out his account had been hacked. I wouldn’t lend any money to a person you don’t have regular contact with.

No way and delete.

If I'd seen her sooner (and not with a 15 year gap) I'd consider lending it to her, but as it seems she's run out of people to ask then no chance.

@Namechangeisgood

That's a strange request, and you can (and should) say no. "I'm sorry to hear things are tough and I wish I could help, but we're also on a really tight budget and I can't spare anything"

I definitely wouldn't be lending money to someone I hadn't seen and had barely spoken to for 15 years!

Agree with all of this. You can't afford to, OP. That's all you have to say.

The fact that she's asking you likely means she has exhausted her ability to borrow from closer relatives and long standing friends. I wouldnt. Just say "sorry, I can't, money's really tight right now."

Yiu say. Sorry love I'm in same financial predicament as you I haven't got any money as I'm on mat leave.

I would say - what a coincidence I was just about to ask you the same thing! I hope you are able to get the money from your family but unfort I don't have it - wish I did.

NO WAY ! SHE IS TAKING THE P*

Nope, don't lend her any money.

I would signpost her to places which might be ale to help, I know in Scotland they have a welfare fund through councils which can give emergency fuel vouchers. Also if you phone your energy company they can often arrange for credit to be put on a meter.

This might be a scam. There's a well known scam where people use a hacked Facebook account and ask to borrow money from the person's friends/family.

Always check by phoning that the request is genuine, if you are considering lending money in this scenario.

Not a chance.

In situations like this I always ask myself 'What would the cast of Grange Hill say?'

Nah. She's testing whether she can use you for more money in the future. If she never speaks to you again after you say no - that would be a good result. She wasn't a nice person in school, she hasn't changed, let it fizzle out.

Just tell her you don't have it to lend.
If you give it to her, don't expect it back, and expect her to keep asking.

I had a similar request from a good friend on fb messenger. I thought it was odd because I could never imagine her asking me for money and we usually talk via WhatsApp.

I replied of course I could help but wasn't sure how to transfer the money (I live abroad) so I'd need to check it out and could she message me via WhatsApp. I was 99% sure it wasn't her.

The reply was "i need it now! Transfer now to this account!" She would never in a million years speak to me like that. She'd been hacked.

I agree with PP
She has used all her close family and friends and they are saying no now.
It's time for you to no too.

Don't say things like , not at the moment , not right now , or it will go e her the idea that she could try again at a later date.

It is a flat NO .
Cheeky mare !