To have had it with my butler and the valet

[SierraJulietGolf]

I had a small soirée for 20 friends this morning. My guests included a smattering of viscounts (not the chocolate biscuit), an award winning poet, 3 MPs and our Lord Mayor. The butler (who is nearing the end of his probationary period) mixed up all the guests coats meaning that the 5‘ award winning poet got the great coat of the Mayor who is 6‘2 and built like a brick shithouse. The Viscount was given the filthy green fleece belonging to my head gardener. I honestly didn’t know where to put myself I was so embarrassed.

My day had already got off to a terrible start as my useless valet brought the morning post to me at 11am when I know for a fact it was delivered at 9.30 as I heard all 4 of my beagles and the red setter barking their heads off. The tray my post was on was smudged with fingerprints and looked a total mess. He didn’t even seem to think there was a problem when I told him all this was unacceptable and he needed to shape up smartish.

IABU to give them both a written warning? I feel so bloody stressed out with the pair of idiots. The head gardener is on a final warning after pruning a rose bush while it was in full bloom. What the hell is wrong with people?

Don't tell me you are thinking of cooking your own food?

Darling M and S is showing your roots, Fortnum's and Harrods will tide you over, but do, at the least, get someone to serve.

@sashh

Roots? How very dare you, daughter of a lady.
I do shop at Fortnums but Harrods is for tourists Darhling!
I do buy Marks mid-week food for the spogs and dogs. Also the odd pair of trews for gardening. No elastic in their drawers so I have given them up!

Beauty. The cats adore M&S ready cooked chicken. The hounds will only touch Fortnum‘s. My maid will serve whatever there is so I feel I’m just about managing to main a few basic standards at this trying time. I think the rot set in at the start of lockdown when the first signs of disloyalty surfaced. I was shocked at how few of the staff felt honoured at being informed that Sierra house staff would form a bubble.

Is this post a piss take or are there really "entitled" people like this in Britain in the 21st century?

@Granjeanne

Is this post a piss take or are there really "entitled" people like this in Britain in the 21st century?

"entitled"? we don't know what you mean dear. is that a phrase peasants use?

entitled
I think you mean titled?

I've only just read this and quite frankly, I am shocked! These people (I use the term loosely) obviously don't know who you are. I suggest that you dismiss them forthwith.

entitled
I think you mean titled?

TheOnlyMrsM. Exactly!

BobISMyUncle. They do know who I am - Theres a coat of arms on the stonework of the doorway, My letterhead has my title on and all post is addressed to Lady Sierra, Sierra House, Buckinghamshire. They know who I am alright, they just don’t have any pride in their work or seemingly with the mass exodus over the weekend, any loyalty.

@SierraJulietGolf

Cunty. Obviously they were barking their heads orf. That goes without saying.

Beautybunny. I might be bumping into you in Marks and Spencer’s if the cook follows the cleaning staffs‘ lead and walk out in solidarity with the butler and valet. It’s so quiet round here with so many staff missing. There’s just DH, the beagles and the labs ( who are all asleep) and the horses who are in their stables. It feels a bit ominous and creepy.

Our Long Gallery is very eerie in the winter. Apparently a headless horseman careers through on wild November evenings but I've never seen him.

@Granjeanne

Is this post a piss take or are there really "entitled" people like this in Britain in the 21st century?

😳

Frankly, anyone who allows not one but three MPs into their house deserves all they get. YABU.

[quote Mommybunny]@DaphneDeloresMoorhead I’m dying to hear how your meeting with your editor went. Where can I pre-order Tales of a Humble Shopgirl?[/quote]
I can only apologise for failing to reply to your mind message. You will be able to order it at Black Books. Pop a line to [email protected]

I must purchase a new typewriter. This one is all over the place.

Your kind message.

Daphne. I’m sorry to hear about your haunted Long Gallery. The last thing one needs is another useless , noisy waste of space tromping up and down on their bloody horse. And why would he think it’s was ok to bring the sodding thing into the house? Even the dead are so disrespectful .

DerAlteMann. I know. One MP is horrific enough but 3 of them braying away, blithering on about how I might like to consider inviting Moggy next time and then boring on and on about Macron and fish and Biden farting at COP26. If I want to listen to fart jokes I’d just hang on till the end of Michaelmas Half when the boys come home.

Daphne. Great Grand Mummars old Remington recently threw in its keys. Such a sad day. We have popped it into the Mausoleam near her pitch because apparently she was very fond of it. Are you going to get one of these laptop things? I refuse. They’re so ubiquitous now. Even children seem to have them.

Gosh you rich folk are so out of touch. It’s like I was telling daddy when he bought me that small holding, you need to fend for yourself, live off the land. Daddy bought me sheep, chickens and 4 Pony’s and now I just survive on what I can grow. It’s hard work but I subsidise it with the income from my organic kale smoothie business that granny helped me start. Butlers and valet! Pffff

sierrajulietgolf I think I shall just invest in a new shorthand typist

@Penistoe how interesting. We certainly find our certified organic, air dried cannabis a great help in subsiding repairs on our estate. We offer delivery via a nice little phaeton.

Penistoe. It’s hard work. You lost me with the W word. What you’re doing is commendable but I simply wouldn’t know how to start when it comes to work. Well apart from organising staff which is absolutely soul drainingly hard at present. Thanks for the suggestion though and I’m glad this approach is working out for you.

Daphne. I imagine getting hold of a murmuration of starlings would be less challenging than getting hold of a shorthand typist. Good luck.

@Granjeanne

Is this post a piss take or are there really "entitled" people like this in Britain in the 21st century?

A pisstake? My dear child have you tried getting a servant to empty the Chamber pot? They all think I should make the walk in the cold and dark to relieve myself.

Oh and one even referred to it as a 'guzunder', it's an antique and beautifully decorated.

sashh. You’re so right. Long gone are the days when you could get a willing stream of people to take the piss. I imagine your house is like Sierra House - f…ing subzero for 8 months of the year. I had a chill on my bladder a few years ago. It wasn’t that that got me admitted to hospital, but the hypothermia I suffered from trailing back and forth to the lavatory in the night.

I bet your gazunder is a beauty. Those early Victorian ones are things of beauty.

I do believe we have made the papers

www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/nanny-theft-disappearing-butlers-rich-people-problems/

Oh and here's the item the serf refused to empty

sashh. That is a wonderful piece of guzundery. How anyone could possibly not feel honoured to empty such an artefact is beyond my understanding.

Oh is our actual thread mentioned in The Telegraph or is it just about others in the same unfortunate plight? I’d have to sign up for a month’s free trial and thanks to the lack of people round here to do things like this I’m rather stuck.

I think it is just others, but I only saw the headline, I refuse to pay for access tot he online site.

[quote sashh]I do believe we have made the papers

www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/nanny-theft-disappearing-butlers-rich-people-problems/[/quote]
Money-Coutts?!
But indeed, how much more can we take?!