To have had it with my butler and the valet

[SierraJulietGolf]

I had a small soirée for 20 friends this morning. My guests included a smattering of viscounts (not the chocolate biscuit), an award winning poet, 3 MPs and our Lord Mayor. The butler (who is nearing the end of his probationary period) mixed up all the guests coats meaning that the 5‘ award winning poet got the great coat of the Mayor who is 6‘2 and built like a brick shithouse. The Viscount was given the filthy green fleece belonging to my head gardener. I honestly didn’t know where to put myself I was so embarrassed.

My day had already got off to a terrible start as my useless valet brought the morning post to me at 11am when I know for a fact it was delivered at 9.30 as I heard all 4 of my beagles and the red setter barking their heads off. The tray my post was on was smudged with fingerprints and looked a total mess. He didn’t even seem to think there was a problem when I told him all this was unacceptable and he needed to shape up smartish.

IABU to give them both a written warning? I feel so bloody stressed out with the pair of idiots. The head gardener is on a final warning after pruning a rose bush while it was in full bloom. What the hell is wrong with people?

I don't know what is wrong with people. The postman had the cheek to knock on my door today:)

They all need a damn good thrashing! There have been so many 'staff' threads today - Unless you are serious in which case just shoot the bastards!

I hope you called the police immediately?

Beware. Your post will be put into creative writing.

Well, my c.f. tank Parker was.

Bastards.

Could you ask Jeeves to come over and sort it all out for you or Willikins to sort it all out in a very different way?

You just can't get the help nowadays!

You get your post st 9.30? Really?

Staff**

But, either works.

Don't give them a written warning, just halve their pay, its the only way staff ever listen.

Check the flower beds for footprints in case the gardener is gardening barefoot.

Thanks. Glad to know I’m not over-reacting. I was thinking about reporting it to the police but then realised he was actually at the soirée and had been given the purple faux fur duster coat belonging to the poet. I honestly don’t think I can look him in the eye after that. God what a day. I can hardly bring myself to talk to the butler. He bought me my evening cocoa and Bath Oliver’s and it was all I could do to say thank you. I refuse to be petty though as that would be to lower my own standards.

Don't report it properly, but do log it with them on the non emergency number. They may need a final piece of the jigsaw 😂

You had it with the butler and the valet?
Most people just have it with one of the gardeners. Surely that's sufficient.

Gosh what a chore old girl. A bloody good thrashing is what they need.

ABC you speak such sense. A written warning would be useless as I’m not sure either of the idiots are literate.

you need to get a good house manager to manage them. you dont need to do it yourself.

You had it with the butler and the valet? shock
Most people just have it with one of the gardeners. Surely that's sufficient.

Well that’s a story for another time. Right now I can’t be thinking of matters of the flesh. I’m just too distraught. I expect better service.

Not exactly The Remains of the Day!

Love the poet winning a 5' award - where on earth will he store it?

you need to get a good house manager to manage them. you dont need to do it yourself.

I fired the house manager last month.

Set the hounds on them.

Love the poet winning a 5' award - where on earth will he store it

I shall never know as after today’s debacle I won’t dare invite them again.

Yabu. But only because one should never have to discipline one's own staff. Where's your PA?

Ask Mummar or Great Aunty Mary what the correct etique for firing ones staff should be