To cut a long story short, I think there's a big personality clash between my in laws and I.
I don't think they're bad people. I don't think they generally mean harm. But it's just a bad fit.
We've had various big fights over the years.
I think eventually both sides will just give up and we will stop seeing each other socially. I would never stop them from seeing the grand children. But I just wouldn't spend time socially with them.
I think the narratives between us are so deeply engrained on each side, that there's always going to be friction.
It's always the same, they say something upsetting. I either let it go or I tell them please not to say or do whatever it is. They say I'm sensitive and shouldn't be upset and that they only ever mean good.
I understand it takes two sides to have a fight. But they never take any blame at all and basically attack my character. Saying I have a chip on my shoulder, a horrible mind and that I twist what they do.
They don't apologise for upsetting me. I end up apologising to them for making them aware of having upset me. Because I genuinely am sorry about it, because they just don't understand it. It's a character clash.
Anyway, it's just not healthy for anyone. Has anyone ever come back from a situation like this ?
And before everyone tells me that I'm the issue, I do think about this a lot and I analyse myself and I really really try to let as much stuff as possible go. But sometimes it just gets too much and I have to say something to stand up for myself.
As I said, it's not black and white. I understand sometimes I need to let things go/ not take things to heart and just brush stuff off. I try to do it as much as possible. But I acknowledge this to them as well and I apologise.
They don't seem to see any error in their ways and always put the blame on me having a strange personality and I just can't accept that's the only reason there's a problem.
It's a clash, which I'm happy to acknowledge, but they do not. They say it's me only.
Any advice ?