To be upset about best friend's wedding

[allalongagatha]

I got married a couple of weeks ago and had 2 bridesmaids - my sister and my best friend. Last week my best friend got engaged and I've just found out that she has chosen other people as her bridesmaids and I'm feeling left out and really upset.

AIBU to feel this way? I know I probably am, just feel upset that I cut down on our wedding so much (only my best friend came and minimal family) and then I'm excluded from hers?

I feel like it's worse because I think I always put too much of myself out there in regards to friendships and never have it in return - I'm never someone's 'main' friend, just somewhere in the background. Just feeling really sad right now

I think bath is right, it is possible to give too much of yourself, and invest much more than Is healthy. Stand back once in a while, let someone else put the effort in - if it doesn’t happen, spend more time with people that do care and value your friendship, that do reciprocate and it will lead to more equitable friendships and less misunderstandings.
This situation has simply highlighted a deeper problem that was already there.

The bride to be is not unkind merely because she didn't chose OP as her bridesmaid. If it was a bride on here saying a friend of mine is disappointed that I didn't choose her over my sisters and better friends to be my bridesmaid you would be saying your wedding your choice not "that's outrageous have her too"

I agree with you @SeasonFinale MN is a funny place sometimes. All these people saying "Ask her why", "She's a cow" and "Cut her out".....!

If you weren't already aware of it, then it can be upsetting to realise that someone doesn't view your friendship in the same light you do. It might be sensible to recalibrate the friendship in your own head, but there's nothing to be gained by challenging them, begging for an invitation, cutting them off entirely etc

I am beginning to wonder if the OP has name changed to Bizawit.

@SeasonFinale

I am beginning to wonder if the OP has name changed to Bizawit.

@allalongagatha, it’s understandable to be disappointed to realise you aren’t as significant in her life as she is in yours. Your friend hasn’t set out to hurt you, she’s just planning the wedding she wants.

@PumpkinsandTea yes please!

Thank you for all the responses. I appreciate those empathising and those offering a different view. I know it is quite unreasonable to be upset as it's not a transactional thing, but given the history/background (being called someone's only/best friend and then consistently being snubbed, left out of group events/plans etc) it just feels like a constant occurrence to be left out or not considered important.

I only had 2 bridesmaids as a childhood friend was supposed to be my maid of honour but she couldn't guarantee she wouldn't book a holiday for the week of the wedding, yet expected me to pay for all her things in case she changed her mind about the holiday and decided to come closer to the date. Just feels like I'm never a priority or important when it comes to friends, but I always try to be there for them and include them.

I won't be asking why, or refusing to attend (I have been invited I think, just got a text saying best get my diary out for the date), just upset at the fact we talk everyday and as I say, I was the first to know of the engagement etc and I know all of her family well but just almost feel brushed off with this. Another occasion I've valued someone more than they probably value me, so need to consider ways of making new friends and stop putting too much of myself out there. My fault, I know.

As I say, thank you all again for the replies.