Expectations at Xmas

[Threebecomesfour]

Due to family issues on my husband's side, the likeliest big Christmases in our future will be 10 for Xmas lunch. AIBU to feel disappointed not only for me but for my children?! When I was younger I remember having Christmases with nearly 20 people and they are some of my happiest memories. Maybe it's rose-tinted glasses but I feel guilty my children won't experience the same. What counts as a big Christmas in your eyes?

@Olivegreenstrawberries

I have major mum guilt since my kids won't have any GPs at all at Xmas. One side passed away the other side are abroad. But what can I do?! It's out of my control. Hopefully they don't they know what they are missing out on

I had no grandparents as a child and never felt I was missing out. Now I’m an adult and my DD has a close relationship with 4 GPs it makes me slightly sad I didn’t have that, but as a child I certainly never felt that.

If we had 20 family around the majority would have to set off at 9am to get here for lunch and then leave at 6-7m to get home at a reasonable time. That doesn't sound like fun to me.

As a child Christmases were big - usually 12 or so, but it was very much adults doing their thing and children doing theirs (usually in the playroom) - what I love about having a smaller Christmas now (4) is that it's much more focused on my children. And me and DH.

There will be about 11 of us this year. It's enough.