Rude/tactless things people have said.

[Belledan1]

I know we all love a CF thread. Chatting to a fellow commuter waiting for the bus to go to work. Not seen each other since beginning lockdown. Dont even know name. I mentioned I liked her hair totally different to before and I said was having mine coloured/cut in 3 weeks, planned it so done for a night out so holding out. She said to me, I wldnt wait that long looks like needs a really good cut, it's very dry. It probably does but you wldnt say that to a person you hardly know. I have very fine menopausal hair and conscious of it anyway.

Sorry meant to take voting off.

I had a woman say very loudly "she's obviously a new mum, has no clue" when my 8 week old baby was crying waiting to see the Doctor a few weeks ago. Some people are just rude!

How rude. Just ignore her. Reminds me of when I was on bus with Ds. He was in pushchair was about 2 and was eating a bannana. Girl opp with similar age child eating a Greggs. An old woman said very loudly to me I am glad to see your feeding your child properly not like her really loud. So rude. I told her I did let Ds have a sausage roll every now and then that shut her up. None of her business.

People often don't mean to be rude, they just have no filter. I have far too many awful ones spat at me, but my favorite is:

"You're lucky, at least you get to sit down all day" said to me in my wheelchair.

The context was I'd declined a demand to move forward by literally inches in a queue, having explained that doing it would scrape the ankles of the woman in front of me with my foot paddles.

Omg Elleherd that is so rude. You are right re filters but people should think.

Someone looked at me funny once 😆

My mum used to do a slimming club with her sister and their mum (my nan) and some friends. They would all congregate at our house weekly, weigh in and talk about healthy food blah blah.

I was about 12?

One night, my nan came up to me, grabbed my leg and said 'its about time you joined Wednesday wobblers isn't it?'

Bitch. It really hurt me, and I (silently) never forgave her.

I went to buy alcohol in my local shop and that man asked for i.d I said my age and that it and that I’m surprised to be asked and he said “it’s probably all the make up” 😱 I wasn’t even wearing loads some foundation, eyeliner and brow pencil 😐

One of those ‘I JUST SAY IT AS IT IS’ type
People At work told me I looked emancipated like I was in a concentration camp. I was 7 weeks pregnant and had Hyperemesis Gravitum. I hadn’t eaten anything substantial in 7 weeks and couldn’t tell anyone. I was miserable and lonely and remember wondering if I’d lose my job if I smacked her. 5 weeks later I was in hospital severely dehydrated and devastated that I didn’t believe I could be strong enough to continue. I often wonder if when it was announced I was pregnant and extremely poorly that she felt like an utter cunt. I doubt she did though.

Went to an old hobby class of mine for the first time in years
Someone said to me "you have packed on the weight"
I never returned

Stood I needed a que at Alton Towers with my family, first time I’d used the wrist band scheme so that we could use the shorter queuing system due to my chronic illness. A woman marched up to the front of the que and demanded to be let on the ride before the rest of us as her son was autistic and they would not want to see him kicking off and there was clearly nothing wrong with the rest of us in the que we all look perfectly fine and can wait a bit longer. Thankfully the staff politely declined and she marched off shouting that she would be complaining

When DD was small, DH did most of the child care (including all the nursery pick ups/drop offs) and I worked very long hours. Ideally I'd have split the roles a bit more evenly but for lots of reasons this was the only arrangement that made financial sense.

One day I had an afternoon off and collected DD from nursery on my way home. The nursery manager said 'Ooh, nice to finally meet you, we were were starting to think perhaps [DD] didn't really have a mummy'.

I very much doubt she would have said the same to a Dad collecting his DD for the first time

I was once screamed and shouted at by a woman at a tube station for looking at her and her companion funny - that meant I was a disgusting racist blah blah. I was gobsmacked - I hadn’t even noticed her before she started screaming. She was white and middle aged with a younger black companion.

On returning to work after a short maternity leave - ‘oh X you’ve got fat!’ I was size 14.

Once I was stopped in the street and accused of being stupid for having my baby daughter in a sling and that she would suffocate. This was by a youngish man.

When I was 21, I was in hospital on and off with a then unidentified auto immune disease. I was slim but lost weight. I found out later my colleague told everyone I was in hospital with anorexia.

A cleaning client once said to me on my last clean before Christmas, "why don't you eat the whole turkey, you look like you need it". Said clearly because I'm slim and she was overweight.

Picking my ds up from after school club for the first time, 'Oh hello, you must be R's granny!' Nope, just been a very long unpleasant day at work and I was a little older than the average mum. Made me feel like shit.

As a teenager, sitting for the local art evening class. Sit still for 55 mins, 10 mins break then sit still for a further 55 mins.
One participant to the tutor:
'I'm glad she's not pretty. I can't paint pretty'.

Omg this are unbelievable. I had a man at work who was very in to equality and prejudice because of his colour and sexuality said that I chose good cakes for a cake sale but he knew I would as I obviously liked cakes. I am overweight. Luckily he said it in front of the bosses who called him in.

I mean these are unbelievable ie some of the posts

Oh so many as a bereaved parent.

One woman after my daughter died (she worked with my exdh) said "you were so lucky to have had her for 2 weeks, I won't even get that..." and started on about her infertility, literally days after dd died.

Another woman I vaguely know with a dd the same age as mine would have been stopped me in the street and said "every time I think of you I hug my dd a little bit tighter" and then proceeded to hug her dd in front of me.

After my son died my own mother (now nc) said "its ok for you, you're getting all the cards and attention because you're his mum, what do I get"

She also said "On the plus side we don't have to buy X wash powder anymore" (ds got a rash with most of them)

She also told me I was embarrassing for seeing my friends when I was grieving and I should be at home 24/7. She also told me that I had "fucked up the only good thing I ever did in my life" and she would never forgive me for his death (he died of a medical condition).

My now exdh after our dd died said "she died because you're such a bitch, must be karma because who has 2 kids die on them"

And so many more.

Another time a random woman at the school said she loved my (long) hair I thanked her and she said "I just love my kids too much to have long hair" and then went on to explain the time I took with my hair would be better spent with my kids. I was so gobsmacked I didn't say a word, but she had very short bright red dyed hair, she must get her hair cut every couple of months and dyed every 6 weeks, I spend 10 seconds running a brush through mine, and haven't had it cut in a decade 😂

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficultI am so sorry for your losses and people being so insensitive and mean.

At mother and baby group with very small DD. A woman who was pregnant with her second baby was talking to a friend about whether she was hoping for a girl or a boy. The consensus was 'anything's fine as long as it's healthy and not ginger'.

They then clearly noticed that I have red hair and another child there had red hair. So they asked me and the mother of the red-haired child about whether it might be possible for her baby to be 'a ginger' (giving us loads of details about her/her OH colouring etc) and how early you can 'tell' as friend was a bit concerned that she could see a bit of an redish tint in some lights on her own DS.

Your house is sooo small ..
( she is still a friend , but is disappointed I've never lived in a big house at any time !)

I went to a wake ( which was before a funeral here in NI) sil of deceased shouted out how fat I had got. It was full of people I knew and I was humiliated beyond belief. There was a bit of a snigger .
It was awful . I had went from a size 8 to a 12 at the time. The thing is she was always a big person size 18/20 .
It will remain with me for ever.

@thisplaceisapigsty

Picking my ds up from after school club for the first time, 'Oh hello, you must be R's granny!' Nope, just been a very long unpleasant day at work and I was a little older than the average mum. Made me feel like shit.

This reminds me of when I'd just had my eldest. He was probably about 2 and we were waiting in the queue at a carvery thing. Some idiot bloke made some comment to my son clearly referring to me as being his Grannie. I corrected him and said he was his mother. He then replied, 'Oh you started a bit late!'.

When I was pregnant with the aforementioned son went to pay for petrol in the garage. Man behind counter mentions my pregnancy asking if I know if it's a boy or girl. I didn't know and somewhere in my response said it was also first. Again the response was 'You've left it a bit late'. I was 35 and just can't believe people think it's ok to say that to perfect strangers!!

A stay in hospital with dreadful stress-related psoriasis aged 14. At tea we all had to troop into the dining room. An elderly lady calls over, “What’s your name young lady?”. I reply “own name”. She exclaims, “Oh! Gosh, when I think of the name ‘own name’, I think of someone slim and pretty…nothing like you at all!”