To argue that this should is not a suitable topic for the Girl Guides

[MovedByFanciesThatAreCurled]

Girlguiding is for girls, aged 10-14. So why then do they feel the need to promote this on their social media?

This week is #AceWeek - a time to raise awareness and understanding of the asexual community. So here’s a shout-out to all of our asexual volunteers and members – thank you for everything you do in Girlguiding.

The reference to ‘members’ is quite clear. What on earth were they thinking in making reference to young girls’ sex lives (or lack of them according to the focus of the Tweet). How, as an organisation, have they strayed so far? I have two boys in the Scouts/Beavers and if this came up on either of their social media pages I would pull them out. Why is it seen to be an acceptable for Girlguiding?!!

The issue with children being “made aware” of this sexuality is that it’s not equivalent to lesbian/gay relationships.

As stated on this thread, children are first taught about relationships, whether that be two men/ women whatever.

The defining feature of asexuality seems to be not feeling sexual attraction. The community would be inadequately represented if people said that being “ace” meant that you didn’t have a partner. That may be true for some ace people, but there’s a Twitter hashtag showing ace people posing with their babies and partners essentially highlighting that being asexual looks different to how many people interpret it ie indistinguishable from other relationships.

Which means that the only accurate way to describe asexuality is to highlight that it’s about not feeling sexual attraction.

Adults talking to children about their own sexual attraction (or lack of) is fucked up.

No, I think the defining feature of asexuality is not fancying the chippendales.

So we tell them nothing? Cool.

@slashlover

So we tell them nothing? Cool.

Not at Guiding, no. Why would you?

@Franca123

No, I think the defining feature of asexuality is not fancying the chippendales.

I think you're deliberately misinterpreting things now.

I'll say it in small words for you. Lots of people are attracted to people they do not know well, or at all. I gave examples of that.

Demisexual people do not feel this and are ONLY attracted to people they know well.

So we tell them nothing? Cool

Not at GG, no. They don’t need to hear how Jane has sex with her partner but isn’t sexually attracted to him/her

Not at Guiding, no. Why would you?

Every guide leader who posted has said that they do not discuss it in guiding. So there's no problem as what you're objecting to isn't happening.

Do any demisexuals mind answering my question re male/female/both? Are you (personally, obv not speaking for all) demi-heterosexual, demi-homosexual or demi-bisexual?

Every guide leader who posted has said that they do not discuss it in guiding

Well, apart from that 10 year old relative who was told about asexuality to explain why her 10 year old self wasn’t having crushes

@BeyondShrinks

Do any demisexuals mind answering my question re male/female/both? Are you (personally, obv not speaking for all) demi-heterosexual, demi-homosexual or demi-bisexual?

They could be either (although the terms used are generally heteroromantic, homoromantic or biromantic). It generally depends on who they want to spend their life with, who they want to spend time with etc. With demisexuals, attraction comes after knowing someone well but even then it's only certain people.

Would being sexually attracted to your partner be the only reason you were with them? All the other reasons you want to be with someone are still there with demi people.

@nolongersurprised

Every guide leader who posted has said that they do not discuss it in guiding

Well, apart from that 10 year old relative who was told about asexuality to explain why her 10 year old self wasn’t having crushes

I'm sure they're not going to ignore it if the kids bring it up (would be a tad section 28 like) but there are no structured chats.

@slashlover

Not at Guiding, no. Why would you?

Every guide leader who posted has said that they do not discuss it in guiding. So there's no problem as what you're objecting to isn't happening.

But if it becomes something that Guiding is associated with then surely it’s only a matter of time? That’s what safeguarding is. Guarding. Stopping things before they happen. I just think that the Tweet signals that Guiding is an organisation which is ‘interested’ (for want of a better word - I am tired) in sexual orientation. Why? Why are they? There’s nothing wrong with any sexual orientation but I literally don’t see why the Guiding Association would go out of their way to thank a certain section of their volunteers. Anyway. I am done now. I have learned a lot from this thread. I think my worry and concern about the GG Association goes much deeper than this one tweet and may be colouring my judgement. I will never, ever, ever think that it is acceptable for biological males to be aloud to self identify as Leaders and members and attend Camps. That is a safeguarding scandal waiting to be reported. But, before anyone comes and tells me what an awful human being I am I do realise that this is not what this thread is about.

*allowed

Thing is we have no idea what the breadth of organisations who discuss this with children are. So, as they all seem to do it off their own bat and don't liaise with each other, a child could be receiving this 'education', or indeed any other currently high profile topic, from a number of sources in a very short time.
Primary school/Sec School
Brownies/Guides\Youth group of some kind
Friends
Parents
Church group
Sports/hobbies group

There is actually no regulation of this at all. I think you are right to be concerned. I would think only schools have an actual planned curriculum that is monitored.

But if it becomes something that Guiding is associated with then surely it’s only a matter of time?

They tweeted about microaggressions against black people, only a matter of time before they join BLM marches and chuck statues in the river.

They tweeted about online harms, only a matter of time before start telling in detail about the sexually explicit things said by groomers.

They tweeted about sexual harassment of girls and young women, only a matter of time before they tell them someone of the things which have happened to women.

They tweeted about the death of Sir David Amess, only a matter of time before they are telling kids how many stabbing deaths in the UK.

Or it was one tweet as we save our outrage until they are actually discussing those things in group? I am shocked that it is actually about trans people. Shocked.

If adults who claim to be asexual cannot agree what it is or explain asexuality coherently to other adults, then they shouldn't be teaching it as a "thing" to children.

Genuine curiosity-
Why would anyone feel the need to label themselves “Demisexual”? Is only being attracted to people you know well a particularly stigmatised trait? It sounds pretty normal to me/ perfectly compatible with living a very conventional life..

There’s a demisexual flag though so it must be important that everyone knows about it

@elgreco

If adults who claim to be asexual cannot agree what it is or explain asexuality coherently to other adults, then they shouldn't be teaching it as a "thing" to children.

Everyone has agreed that it's the lack of sexual attraction. As has been stated many times.

@Bizawit

Genuine curiosity- Why would anyone feel the need to label themselves “Demisexual”? Is only being attracted to people you know well a particularly stigmatised trait? It sounds pretty normal to me/ perfectly compatible with living a very conventional life..

I've had people ask me which actors I fancied. None. At school, which member of a boyband I fancied most. None of them. Did I know that Michael B. Jordan was People's sexiest man alive, did I think he deserved it? Who would I have chosen? Nobody.

Dya know what's normal? It's normal to mind your own business and not know every Tom, Dick or Harry's sexual preference or lack of as the case maybe..
Why don't people realise that trying to fit each other or our children into pigeon holes is what's messing them up...what if they don't fit...what if they change their mind...Jesus wept.
We should be teaching our kids to be accepting of themselves and everyone else because we are all human beings and its the right thing to do..a person's colour, religion, gender or sexuality has no bearing on the way they should be treated, so why is it that we (as a society) feel the need to announce everyone's sexual persuasion..quite frankly it makes no odds to me and is none of my business

@slashlover Does that cause you significant difficulty though? Can you not just say you don’t really fancy film stars/ musicians?

I mean I don’t really fancy any actors or singers either - Not in a sense that I actually want to have sex with them/
Would genuinely fantasise about that. Does that make me a demisexual too? I thought it was fairly normal. I can discuss which actors I find charismatic or good looking, or I can buy into the romantic fantasy of a character in a movie or tv series… I always assumed that was more what many people were talking about. do Demisexuals experience that?

[quote Bizawit]@slashlover Does that cause you significant difficulty though? Can you not just say you don’t really fancy film stars/ musicians?

I mean I don’t really fancy any actors or singers either - Not in a sense that I actually want to have sex with them/
Would genuinely fantasise about that. Does that make me a demisexual too? I thought it was fairly normal. I can discuss which actors I find charismatic or good looking, or I can buy into the romantic fantasy of a character in a movie or tv series… I always assumed that was more what many people were talking about. do Demisexuals experience that?[/quote]
I'm not demi, I'm asexual.

I don't fancy actors/singers/whatever, I don't see the point. I'm autistic though, and lesbian anyway so well used (now, that took time and I did feel "wrong`') to not being included in conversations about fancying people. That's just how I experience attraction though, I don't claim it's a new thing, it's just me. Not saying you shouldn't, I just don't get it - for me. I've also lived a long while closeted, so can well understand a marriage without sexual attraction. That wasn't a good thing though, it was fucking miserable.

The comparison with the relationship with my DW now is apples and oranges, and I have always been attracted sexually to her, and remain it regardless of how her appearance has changed over time. The idea that I could have settled in my miserable non-sex-attracted marriage for ever and not met her is upsetting. And I - in my own bias - feel bad for anyone who makes do with an "everything else" relationship without giving themselves to find that "full" relationship

@slashlover ahh sorry, I was asking about demisexuals so I thought you were responding about that. I totally get how asexuality is stigmatised/ difficult.

I’ve just never come across this category of “Demisexual” before. I also read a stonewall thing about being “greyace” which I found equally baffling in its need for a label…