Yes, I do think more women are raped than men. Yes, I think women are more physically vulnerable than women/
However, I think many, many more boys and men are sexually abused and raped than we realise.
For women’s here is still a lot of stigma to reporting sexual violence and very little likelihood of justice. For men I think the stigma etc around reporting is in something like the 1970s.
So I think this leads to massive under reporting, even informally, for men. They also are very, very unlikely to be able to talk about it to friends and get an empathetic response.
I still think more women than men are subject to sexual violence/
But I have to say that I think taking sexual violence towards me and boys more seriously is a key part in society effectively tackling sexual violence.
Firstly, it’s the right thing to do. Victims of sexual violence deserve empathy, support and justice. Full stop.
Secondly, the men’s and boys who have suffered sexual violence can be not just allies but partners in the work of making sure sexual violence is taken seriously.
Thirdly, if men and boys are better able to report sexual violence it will break down one of the key misconceptions that often makes men fearful about addressing sexual violence in society. And that is the misconception that men are more likely to be falsely accused of rape than be raped or sexually assaulted. Once men start realising they have more to fear from sexual predators than from being mistaken for a sexual predator there will be a big shift.
I also do often wonder to if some of the people who say “namalt” or “men are just as vulnerable to rape” are people who’s re trying to work their way round to disclosing. And for all victims I think the place to start is “I believe you”. I hey might be wording it clumsily, but let’s face it, men get very little education on how to talk about these things and disclosing is difficult for anyone.
I also think men and boys who suffer sexual violence and abuse are most likely to be abused by men. But this isn’t exclusively so. Of three men I have known who have suffered sexual abuse one was raped by another man. One was abused as a child by his aunt and her son. Another was groomed as a teenager by a much older woman.
Basically I think the sooner we get to a position where sexual violence is framed as “everyone vs the rapists” rather as a “women vs men” issue, the more chance of making real progress in eradicating sexual violence.
For what it’s worth, I do also think that sexually predatory men are the ones who create a culture of “you have to fear a false accusation of sexual misconduct” amongst other men. Seeding fear is a very effective technique to create a false sense of division and a false sense of unity/loyalty. We just need to give that trap no power.
So yes, women are more vulnerable than men to sexual violence. But it doesn’t mean they are immune.