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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Annoyed with DH

144 replies

Rosebel · 31/10/2021 00:13

I have injured my foot quite badly. My mum has offered to for me to stay with her for a few days so I can rest.
My husband said I can only go if I take the kids with me. I said I'd take youngest but not older two who are teenagers and at school.
My husband said in that case I can't go.
Is he being unreasonable or am I?
YABU you are
YANBU he is

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 31/10/2021 00:15

And who made him the decider of your movements?

Ffs.

Biscuitandacuppa · 31/10/2021 00:15

Does he understand the dictionary definition of the word rest?
Also why does he think he can stop you going?

WorraLiberty · 31/10/2021 00:17

Is this a serious question?

Unless you've never stumbled across MN before, do you think the posters here are going to say "Yes YABU. Your husband is the boss of you and he decides where you go at all times?"

LittleDandelionClock · 31/10/2021 00:17

He is absolutely being VERY unreasonable He does realise HE is the kids parent too right?

Get well soon!

Crunchingleaf · 31/10/2021 00:17

YANBU does he normally try to dictate to you like this and tell you what you can and cannot do. Go to your mothers without the teenagers.

DaisyNGO · 31/10/2021 00:18

@Biscuitandacuppa

Does he understand the dictionary definition of the word rest? Also why does he think he can stop you going?
This
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 31/10/2021 00:18

What on Earth reason does he give for this? In his scenario, he’d be the one getting the rest!

Blindleadingtheblind · 31/10/2021 00:19

I voted YANBU, but I'm intrigued to hear his reasons? For how long would you be at your mums and are there work commitments or some such on his part meaning he can't stay with the kids as they need someone to look after them?

ParkheadParadise · 31/10/2021 00:19

I would be going with all the kids and not coming back.
Fuck that shit.

mrsfollowill · 31/10/2021 00:21

Who made him the boss of you- prick!

SpookyPumpkinPants · 31/10/2021 00:22

Who the actual fuck does he think he is!!

You're married, HE should be looking after you, you should need to go to your mums anyway, but if you want to, or he's going to be at work etc then a few days at your Mums sounds great...

He can't keep an eye in the teens for a few days?

He's telling you that you can't go? Fuck that. Just go. If your mum can't pick you up, call a taxi!

Then while your st your mums, take a goid, hard, look at your life!!

Original poster
Rosebel · 31/10/2021 00:24

Three nights and he finishes work at 3 :30 for the next six weeks so it doesn't intefer with the children.
He's refusing because I wound up in hospital last year with blood clots on my lungs and he had to look after the kids then. He doesn't get that it was life threatening and it was, only 2 days.
I know he won't change his mind though.

OP posts:
Blindleadingtheblind · 31/10/2021 00:30

@Rosebel

Three nights and he finishes work at 3 :30 for the next six weeks so it doesn't intefer with the children. He's refusing because I wound up in hospital last year with blood clots on my lungs and he had to look after the kids then. He doesn't get that it was life threatening and it was, only 2 days. I know he won't change his mind though.
What a turd. That's not on. Hope the clots have gone.
Tee20x · 31/10/2021 00:34

@Rosebel

Three nights and he finishes work at 3 :30 for the next six weeks so it doesn't intefer with the children. He's refusing because I wound up in hospital last year with blood clots on my lungs and he had to look after the kids then. He doesn't get that it was life threatening and it was, only 2 days. I know he won't change his mind though.
Excuse me?!

Being in hospital is hardly a trip off to Disney land for 3 weeks. Why are you with this person & why does he feel like the kids are your responsibility & begrudge having to look after them alone.

DaisyNGO · 31/10/2021 00:45

@Rosebel

Three nights and he finishes work at 3 :30 for the next six weeks so it doesn't intefer with the children. He's refusing because I wound up in hospital last year with blood clots on my lungs and he had to look after the kids then. He doesn't get that it was life threatening and it was, only 2 days. I know he won't change his mind though.
So he couldn't cope with them for two days?!
samwitwicky · 31/10/2021 01:02

Your husband needs to get in the bin.

Motherland101 · 31/10/2021 01:08

What do you mean he won't change his mind? It's not up to him, not his decision to make. Do you actually need his permission, OP? Confused

NewbieSM · 31/10/2021 01:19

Op you do not require his permission, he's your husband not your boss! He should WANT you to take time out to rest and recover and looking after HIS OWN kids should not be a hardship especially if they are teens?

I would just tell him you are going for a few days and if he doesn't like it, tough shit, he sounds like a knob YANBUHmm

TaraR2020 · 31/10/2021 01:31

@Rosebel

Three nights and he finishes work at 3 :30 for the next six weeks so it doesn't intefer with the children. He's refusing because I wound up in hospital last year with blood clots on my lungs and he had to look after the kids then. He doesn't get that it was life threatening and it was, only 2 days. I know he won't change his mind though.
Does he realise he is their parent?

And he has parental obligations to fulfil? He doesn't get to duck out of them.

I also second everything said already by pp here. And yes, he should get in the bin!

Angry
honeylulu · 31/10/2021 01:32

Just go on the terms you have stated. What's he going to do to stop you? Tell him if he keeps being a tosser you won't come back either and he can stick that in his pipe and smoke it. Tells you you "can't go", my arse! You're an adult!

LizzieSiddal · 31/10/2021 01:32

Rosebel you do realise that as a grown woman you do not need his permission to do anything?

What will happen if you just go to your mums?

ThankYouStavros · 31/10/2021 01:34

He’s not your keeper. I am furious for you. Genuinely this would be a deal breaker for me. Hope your foot is on the mend soon!

GroggyLegs · 31/10/2021 01:43

Leave him & then he can have the kids EOW all by himself and you can have a rest.

Seriously though, OP - how has it come to this? You dont need strangers to authorise 3 days at your Mums to heal from an injury. Your DH should be caring for you at home, not whining because someone else is offering to do it.

He sounds a lazy bastard.

BookFiend4Life · 31/10/2021 01:46

He's not the boss of you. Take your little one and go?

Aquamarine1029 · 31/10/2021 01:46

How can you stay with a man like this? He's fucking horrible.