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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend threatening to tell her DD uni's that she drink drives

163 replies

waterwateronetothree · 30/10/2021 20:29

Friend's DD who is at uni was done for drink driving very recently, her mother is absolutely furious with her to the point she is threatening to tell her uni of her crime as she thinks her tutors would love to know and would appreciate the heads up that one of their students drink drives. Her DD has vowed to never speak to her mum again if she follows through with her threat.

What do you make of the situation?

OP posts:
CharlotteRose90 · 31/10/2021 12:33

I’m with the mother on this. She deserves to have people told. People get killed by drunk drivers all the time and yet people still think it’s ok to do it. Round the corner from me was a little girl killed by a 21 year old drunk driver recently. Name and shame them I would, only way to stop morons doing it.

Offmyfence · 31/10/2021 13:18

@CharlotteRose90

I’m with the mother on this. She deserves to have people told. People get killed by drunk drivers all the time and yet people still think it’s ok to do it. Round the corner from me was a little girl killed by a 21 year old drunk driver recently. Name and shame them I would, only way to stop morons doing it.
So you really think that telling the Uni will mean the DD is less likely to offend again?

You don't think that her DM trying to lose her DDs degree might make her a worse behaved person? You think she'll thank her mother and feel better losing her degree?

Or do you think it'll have a detrimental effect on their relationship and her future job opportunities?

I think it would be a very negative thing for all involved.

meltingappointment · 31/10/2021 13:20

@CharlotteRose90

I’m with the mother on this. She deserves to have people told. People get killed by drunk drivers all the time and yet people still think it’s ok to do it. Round the corner from me was a little girl killed by a 21 year old drunk driver recently. Name and shame them I would, only way to stop morons doing it.

OP hadn't said the DD continues to drink drive though. She has been charged by the police, which is what she deserves.

OhMyfanwy · 31/10/2021 13:29

I hope your day gets better @TrufflyPig, it's horrible not getting enough sleep

TrufflyPig · 31/10/2021 13:35

Thank you OhMyfanwy, it's a bit better now I've had some chocolate and a cuppa!

I think we might live near each other CharlotteRose if we do and are talking about the same case it was horrific and made me cry a lot even though I didn't know the family.

ChargingBuck · 31/10/2021 13:52

@waterwateronetothree

Friend thinks they might remove her from the course but of course they won't I agree my friend is lashing out, she seems to have made it a mission to make her DD's life a misery now.
Hold on - your friend is actively seeking to ruin her daughter's university qualifications & career?

Why is she still your friend?

LittleDandelionClock · 31/10/2021 14:01

Why the hell is her mother threatening to tell the uni?

What a spiteful, mean-spirited woman. Doesn't sound like she likes her daughter very much. Hmm I would never do something so despicable to my daughter.

Are you sure this isn't a reverse @waterwateronetothree Are you the daughter, or the mother? Wink You do sound rather invested in this. What business is it of yours?!

Brainwave89 · 31/10/2021 14:11

The mother’s need to see the daughter suffer for a very foolish error indeed is troubling. Is there a backstory of conflict? Very few academic courses would be interested in this conviction.

sashh · 31/10/2021 14:11

Is the DD driving to or around uni? She must have been given a ban so that might be an issue, otherwise, well there's not a lot the uni could do unless it had something to do with her course.

wrennywr · 31/10/2021 14:12

I think the kid shouldn't have been drunk driving, but their reaction to their parent potentially ruining their entire life by telling the uni is entirely justified. If my parents were to sabotage my uni career I wouldn't say a word to them as long as they live.

wrennywr · 31/10/2021 14:14

@wrennywr

I think the kid shouldn't have been drunk driving, but their reaction to their parent potentially ruining their entire life by telling the uni is entirely justified. If my parents were to sabotage my uni career I wouldn't say a word to them as long as they live.
also I don't particularly think the uni would care if they had been drunk driving, it's their job to educate them, not convict them.
Whereis · 31/10/2021 14:28

Your friend sounds hideous - her daughter is an adult she doesn’t need told on. The uni won’t care either

Offmyfence · 31/10/2021 16:12

@TrufflyPig I think I may live there too, did the girls name begin with R?

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