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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not travel around on busses 5 days post section with baby?

296 replies

TrappedWindArse · 30/10/2021 11:19

I had a section Tuesday morning and have not long arrived home with baby (see previous post about being stuck on the postnatal ward after a hemmorage, no sleep, annoying visitors - yay)

Midwife came round yesterday to check in with us and said I have to take baby into the nearest clinic tomorrow (Sunday) for my day 5 post birth check, to weigh baby and remove my dressing.

The problem is it's 3.5 miles away and I don't drive. I'm exhausted, anaemic and still not able to walk very far. I'd need to use public transport and to be completely honest I'm just not up to going anywhere yet let alone miles away with baby in a sling.

I remember these checks being done at home with my other children but apparently that has changed. Possibly because it falls on a Sunday? I don't know.

Anyway, WIBU to say I'm sorry i just can't do that and ask for somebody to come to us instead? I know the midwives are very over stretched at the minute but I genuinely feel it will hinder my already slow recovery.

Will that go against me somehow and make me look negligent for not complying?

I'm a bit stressed.

OP posts:
TatianaBis · 30/10/2021 20:20

I live in inner London, you absolutely need a car here. You don’t need a car in central London. That is if you don’t mind getting a bus to hospital/clinic when you’re not feeling well.

WheelieBinPrincess · 30/10/2021 20:23

@TatianaBis

We have Ubers for that.

Nomorecoco · 30/10/2021 20:25

This is crazy, I was still in hospital 5 days post section and couldn't walk or lift for another 4 weeks.

TatianaBis · 30/10/2021 20:26

[quote WheelieBinPrincess]@TatianaBis

We have Ubers for that.[/quote]
Hence the £70 in one week.

WheelieBinPrincess · 30/10/2021 20:32

@TatianaBis yeah, and hospital parking and driving round in a congestion charge zone in your own car wouldn’t be a cheap undertaking either.

TatianaBis · 30/10/2021 20:57

Congestion charge is only for vehicles that don’t meet ULEZ emission standards.

turnthebiglightoff · 30/10/2021 20:58

@Bagamoyo1 did you drive 5 days after a c section?

winetomorrow · 30/10/2021 21:24

Congrats on your baby and glad the midwife is coming to you. I'm in NZ so it's a bit different but I was only discharged from the hospital 5 days after my c-section and then all appointments were home visits until 12 weeks. It's horrendous that anyone is expected to travel about with a small child after massive surgery. I think some people genuinely believe it's just a surface scratch and baby's right there waiting to pop out (to be fair, I think I did too as I wasn't expecting to have one so hadn't done any research so had no idea of the things they were doing - thankfully)! Hope you get lots of rest and be kind to yourself Smile

NotMyDayJob · 30/10/2021 21:29

@TatianaBis

Congestion charge is only for vehicles that don’t meet ULEZ emission standards.
Congestion charge is for (nearly) all vehicles in the congestion charging zone. The ULEZ is for cars that don't meet emissions standards
TatianaBis · 30/10/2021 21:54

Congestion you don’t pay if you have battery electric, but it’s only central London. ULEZ has just expanded, and you don’t pay if your car is ULEZ compliant - post 2009 petrol, electric, hybrid etc.

Moonbabysmum · 30/10/2021 21:55

At 5 days post CS, the op should still, ideally be in hospital.

I'd have gone nuts. I'm not saying they should chuck us out the same day, but 1-2 nights is surely enough for most of us. It was for my sections anyway. Unless something has gone very wrong I cant see why anytime would need to stay 5 nights!

I'm glad it's sorted OP 🙂.

I could have done this in day 5 - I was doing car journeys, shopping, out seeing people etc, but I didn't have to as my visits were at home.

My 10 day appointment was at the hospital because I told them there was no need to come to me, and i did go to that by bus, and stopped off in town for some shopping in the way home. But it was my choice, and day 10 is a long way from day 5.

Nanny0gg · 30/10/2021 21:58

@Munchyseeds

The policy sucks but it is what it is Don't really see that you have any other choice but to get a taxi
Well, if you can't afford it you can't do it, can you?
Thevoiceofreason2021 · 30/10/2021 22:27

She’s taken liberties. Just say no. The onus is on them to complete the checks. It’s ridiculous to expect you to leave the house. Just say you can’t get a lift and your not well enough to use public transport. They can come on Monday.

TheSmallAssassin · 30/10/2021 22:56

Oh, @TatianaBis, you are spectacularly missing the point. When I had my kids (18 years ago, ish), the midwife came to my house two or three times in the first ten days and I had a super easy labour, with just a few stitches. Being able to drive and owning a car should not be a prerequisite for decent post partum care!

Honestly, set your sights a bit higher, the NHS is only free at the point of service, we all pay for it in our taxes and National Insurance - if it's not good enough, we need to demand better from our service providers and government, not put up with shit!

bsquared · 30/10/2021 23:12

Just don’t go.

I had a section two months ago, and health visitors all came to house for checks. Like you, recovery was slow, and one hv actually said it would be inappropriate to proceed with the visit because I was in so much pain. She told me to go back in to hospital, which I did, and they rescheduled the appointment for another day.

Good luck with the recovery.

wizzkidd · 31/10/2021 00:05

Glad she's coming to you op. I had to go to the midiwife a 20 min drive away for DC3 on day 3 (and several times after due to her losing quite a bit of weight) and that was stressful enough even with DH driving us.
Fair enough have some women travel to them if they're able but surely a c section should trigger a home visit.

Saoirse82 · 31/10/2021 00:51

@Pumpkinqueeeen

I would just get on with it tbh. The sooner you get back to normality the better, especially when you don't drive or have anyone else who could drive you. Honestly getting up and about works wonders, just take it slowly. 3 days post section I was taking 2 buses to and from the hospital to see my baby in NICU, I didn't have any other option if I didn't want to fork out ££££ on taxis.
Just because you were able to do that doesn't mean the OP can. Some women recover well after a section, some take a lot longer. Telling her to just get on with it is not helpful, she's said she's not up to it. She's had major surgery, a PPH and is anemic which can make you pass out, shes hardly up to taking the bus with a newborn in tow!
Saoirse82 · 31/10/2021 00:58

@RussianSpy101

I don’t see why you can’t? I walked to my 10 day appointment with my 2 older DC post c section. It was about 2 miles. Take the pram and walk it.
Twat of the thread....
RussianSpy101 · 31/10/2021 08:30

@Saoirse82 or just not a fucking martyr like some here who think for some reason they can’t walk for 87 days after having a baby 😂😂
There’s literally thousands of women having a c section every single day. Life goes on as normal. I genuinely do not understand the threads that always pop up - I can’t attend my sisters wedding 4 weeks after my baby. Honestly, people need to get a grip.

Sxxyfing · 31/10/2021 08:30

Its 2021 and you've had major surgery and the care should be significantly better than expecting you to do this. I'd refuse and ask them to come to you

WheelieBinPrincess · 31/10/2021 08:38

@RussianSpy101 you’ve misused the term ‘martyr’ there. A martyr would be more likely to proclaim they would suffer through the pain and walk on their hands and knees if necessary to get to their appointment, so the examples you give don’t work.

But I realise it doesn’t matter because you just enjoy bashing other women (if you are in fact a woman?) to make yourself feel good.

takenforgrantednana · 31/10/2021 09:01

@TrappedWindArse

I had a section Tuesday morning and have not long arrived home with baby (see previous post about being stuck on the postnatal ward after a hemmorage, no sleep, annoying visitors - yay)

Midwife came round yesterday to check in with us and said I have to take baby into the nearest clinic tomorrow (Sunday) for my day 5 post birth check, to weigh baby and remove my dressing.

The problem is it's 3.5 miles away and I don't drive. I'm exhausted, anaemic and still not able to walk very far. I'd need to use public transport and to be completely honest I'm just not up to going anywhere yet let alone miles away with baby in a sling.

I remember these checks being done at home with my other children but apparently that has changed. Possibly because it falls on a Sunday? I don't know.

Anyway, WIBU to say I'm sorry i just can't do that and ask for somebody to come to us instead? I know the midwives are very over stretched at the minute but I genuinely feel it will hinder my already slow recovery.

Will that go against me somehow and make me look negligent for not complying?

I'm a bit stressed.

my god no way! no taxi either at 7 days post c section you where lucky to get me to walk to the bathroom! god how it hurts! and having a bath i stilll remember getting stuck trying to get out of that. no way would i be taking a baby in anything to get to see the midwife (emergencies excepted) people seem to forget just how big an operation this actually is,, you need to put your foot down and tell them if they want to see you then they need to come to you
thatyouleaveinspace · 31/10/2021 11:15

You can't drive for six weeks after section

Platax · 31/10/2021 11:40

@TatianaBis

I live in inner London, you absolutely need a car here. You don’t need a car in central London. That is if you don’t mind getting a bus to hospital/clinic when you’re not feeling well.
Why do you absolutely need a car in inner London? Parking is a nightmare unless you've got a dedicated space which will cost a fortune. Even if you regularly have health problems needing hospital visits, it's still cheaper to take a taxi.
Gwenhwyfar · 31/10/2021 11:42

[quote WheelieBinPrincess]@TatianaBis yeah, and hospital parking and driving round in a congestion charge zone in your own car wouldn’t be a cheap undertaking either.[/quote]
Not to mention the cost of learning to drive, buying the car insuring it and maintenance. For anyone living in a city, the odd taxi trip if you really can't take public transport is likely work out much cheaper.

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