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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not travel around on busses 5 days post section with baby?

296 replies

TrappedWindArse · 30/10/2021 11:19

I had a section Tuesday morning and have not long arrived home with baby (see previous post about being stuck on the postnatal ward after a hemmorage, no sleep, annoying visitors - yay)

Midwife came round yesterday to check in with us and said I have to take baby into the nearest clinic tomorrow (Sunday) for my day 5 post birth check, to weigh baby and remove my dressing.

The problem is it's 3.5 miles away and I don't drive. I'm exhausted, anaemic and still not able to walk very far. I'd need to use public transport and to be completely honest I'm just not up to going anywhere yet let alone miles away with baby in a sling.

I remember these checks being done at home with my other children but apparently that has changed. Possibly because it falls on a Sunday? I don't know.

Anyway, WIBU to say I'm sorry i just can't do that and ask for somebody to come to us instead? I know the midwives are very over stretched at the minute but I genuinely feel it will hinder my already slow recovery.

Will that go against me somehow and make me look negligent for not complying?

I'm a bit stressed.

OP posts:
EatYourVegetables · 30/10/2021 11:39

I would not go.

LittleBearPad · 30/10/2021 11:39

Don’t you have any friends who drive?

It’s better to go and have the check then not have it - and it’s highly likely no one will be able to come to you tomorrow.

LittleBearPad · 30/10/2021 11:40

I don’t think it’s reasonable btw but it isn’t likely to be able to change

Athrawes · 30/10/2021 11:40

If it's a Sunday maybe babies father can take the baby to get checked and you can stay home and rest.

Original poster
TrappedWindArse · 30/10/2021 11:41

Is there likely to be any ramifications to me not going? For example, them raising red concerns about how I'm "not putting baby first" or some other crap like that?

I'm probably over thinking it. I tend to do that alot on such little sleep etc.

OP posts:
Rosebel · 30/10/2021 11:41

Ask them to come to you. I had to get my baby weighed every day for 2 weeks after my c section. First 9 days were okay as my DH could drive me but then he had to return to work. So I told them I had no way of getting to the clinic and they did home visits.
That was last summer (2020)so Covid rules were incredibly tight but they still came to visit just in PPE. I'd imagine they'll do the same as your health should be a priority.
Don't go on a bus whatever you do. I'd imagine that would make you feel worse.

knittingaddict · 30/10/2021 11:41

@TrappedWindArse

I have a DH yes but neither of us drive.

No local family who could take me as we live in another city.

I live in a different city to my youngest and I wouldn't hesitate to give her a lift in these circumstances. Even if you could drive you shouldn't be driving in those circumstances anyway.
wetpebbles · 30/10/2021 11:42

Just tell clinic you feel unwell

Winniewonka · 30/10/2021 11:42

Tell them exactly what you've told us, that you're anaemic, exhausted and unable to manage a taxi and a new born in a sling whilst recovering from a major operation.
Say your husband can't come with you as he needs to look after your other children.

Juliantheloaf · 30/10/2021 11:42

I’m a midwife. Ask for a home visit!

NoYOUbekind · 30/10/2021 11:44

Even if OP could drive, she shouldn't be driving 5 days post section so that's basically that.

Tell them what you've told us. There may be an alternative like you getting dressings changed somewhere else, or baby being weighed in a couple of days at home. I'd be more worried about dressings than the baby's weight though, that's an important part of your recovery.

knittingaddict · 30/10/2021 11:44

@TrappedWindArse

Is there likely to be any ramifications to me not going? For example, them raising red concerns about how I'm "not putting baby first" or some other crap like that?

I'm probably over thinking it. I tend to do that alot on such little sleep etc.

How long would he be away from home with the baby if he took her? I think that would be the real deciding factor for me, rather than what the midwives thought. You won't want to be seperate from your baby for long at 5 days old.
NoYOUbekind · 30/10/2021 11:45

It won't make you look negligent, it will make you look like someone who needs help and whom this new hub system doesn't work for. All the MWs I know want to be back in homes and are talking to managers about how this way of working doesn't serve women and babies.

MeadowHay · 30/10/2021 11:46

Gosh awful. Ours was done recently at home. At 5 days PP I had been in the hospital the day before as some of my episiotomy stitches came away on say 3. I also had a slight temp day 4 so probably it was infected. I am still in terrible pain with this at 2week PP, it will be a long time before I can sit on a bus! No way I'd be doing that after a vaginal birth, I don't know much about section recovery but can't imagine it would be comfortable!!

BoomChicka · 30/10/2021 11:46

Why do neither of you drive? Obviously you wouldn't be able to drive so soon anyway, but this will be the first of many scenarios where not driving will make life a lot harder for you all.

RavenclawsRoar · 30/10/2021 11:47

Oh it's such nonsense. I remember going to the day 3 check, staggering in clutching my belly, and the midwife looked horrified. She said "why are you in pain still?" Ummm...because I had major abdominal surgery 3 days ago??!! And I felt fine at home with my feet up and a cup of tea but no, had to traipse to clinic. I don't think you'd BU to say you can't make it. Luckily DH drove me but still it was an effort to get in and out the car, walk into the town where clinic is held, stagger around the flipping long corridors to the correct room. The whole thing was ridiculous.

BoomChicka · 30/10/2021 11:48

In answer to your OP though, YANBU, don't go on the bus. If you can't get a lift then ask for a home visit.

milkieway · 30/10/2021 11:48

Absolutely ask for a home visit
You've just had major surgery so shouldn't be driving anyway and it sounds you're not well enough to be using public transport currently making this journey would be a danger to you / baby

megletthesecond · 30/10/2021 11:49

Yanbu. 5 days post section you should be resting so you can recover properly.
They can pop round to yours.

Councilworker · 30/10/2021 11:50

@BoomChicka could be any number of reasons health, don't normally need to run a car, don't want to run a car, can't pass a test. Either way she or her husband won't be able to pass a test and get a car for tomorrow so it's not helpful to add here is it.

Original poster
TrappedWindArse · 30/10/2021 11:50

@BoomChicka

Why do neither of you drive? Obviously you wouldn't be able to drive so soon anyway, but this will be the first of many scenarios where not driving will make life a lot harder for you all.
Its a personal choice. We live in a city with good transport links and have no need to.

Also environmental reasons.

It has never been a problem before as I've never had the need for major surgery, and am unlikely to again.

OP posts:
FlibbertyGibbitt · 30/10/2021 11:51

Bloody hell after a C Section you should be resting in bed not getting on buses or in taxis !

clatterclatter · 30/10/2021 11:51

@BoomChicka

Why do neither of you drive? Obviously you wouldn't be able to drive so soon anyway, but this will be the first of many scenarios where not driving will make life a lot harder for you all.
😂😂😂😂😂

How is this in any way a helpful contribution to this thread?

OP please do explain to this total stranger why you didn’t make alternate life decisions to avoid this situation.

Chocolatewheatos · 30/10/2021 11:53

That's shit. They came to my house. I don't think I'd have even been able to get out of the car 5 days post c section. I only managed it on the way home because I was 15hrs post op and still drugged to my eyeballs.

BelieveInRainbows · 30/10/2021 11:53

OP, just ask for someone to do a home visit. They will absolutely accommodate that if they can. If not, there might be alternative options like having baby weighed at your GP clinic or going to a pharmacy for a dressing change. Like a PP, I've also been in the position of having to take the bus to and from the hospital a few days post section to see my poorly baby in the NICU. I managed of course because the alternative would have been to not see my baby, but it most certainly wasn't comfortable or easy and I would have rather not done it if possible!