To not travel around on busses 5 days post section with baby?

[TrappedWindArse]

I had a section Tuesday morning and have not long arrived home with baby (see previous post about being stuck on the postnatal ward after a hemmorage, no sleep, annoying visitors - yay)

Midwife came round yesterday to check in with us and said I have to take baby into the nearest clinic tomorrow (Sunday) for my day 5 post birth check, to weigh baby and remove my dressing.

The problem is it's 3.5 miles away and I don't drive. I'm exhausted, anaemic and still not able to walk very far. I'd need to use public transport and to be completely honest I'm just not up to going anywhere yet let alone miles away with baby in a sling.

I remember these checks being done at home with my other children but apparently that has changed. Possibly because it falls on a Sunday? I don't know.

Anyway, WIBU to say I'm sorry i just can't do that and ask for somebody to come to us instead? I know the midwives are very over stretched at the minute but I genuinely feel it will hinder my already slow recovery.

Will that go against me somehow and make me look negligent for not complying?

I'm a bit stressed.

Don't go. Totally unreasonable. Call though and explain.

@Platax you mean I didn’t go in for your tedious level of detail.

Didn’t notice the other question as I haven’t been reading the thread.

You need a car in inner London because a. London is massive b. Inner London is spread out, not that quick or easy to get from one area to another on public transport, and within an area places can be quite a long way from a tube/train station, or not that well served by buses (E.g. don’t have routes that go where you need them to). c. Travelling on public transport is fairly expensive in itself - annual travelcard for zones 1-5 alone is £2500.

In what crazy universe would someone 5 days post-major abdominal surgery aside from being a woman who's just had a c-section be expected to hobble out of bed and get on a bus to a clinic and back?? Just another of the double-standards applied to women because 'having babies is natural'. This sort of shit happens in a medical/health care context ALL THE TIME and it's not on.

I know everyone else has said this but OP, you have to make an issue of this. Hold your ground, explain clearly and calmly that you're recovering from major surgery+hemorrhage+tiny baby and that it's not appropriate for you to travel right now.

Give it up, @TatianaBis, no-one's impressed.

Good to hear she decided to come to you. I found buses really hard with the pram in the initial few weeks as obviously you can't physically take down the pram post section; standing with it while the bus moved was really painful, plus delays (and long rainy walk) getting to the doctor because a wheelchair user needed their spot. If you don't yet have a soft sling, I highly recommend it as it's much easier while the baby is tiny and you're still healing.

If you're struggling to breastfeed, look for local breastfeeding support groups online or go to any baby group drop-in and sit with someone who's breastfeeding. My top tip would be using loads of lansinoh to prevent pain and learning to feed lying down in bed; no discomfort getting in position with the baby so you can let baby take their time to figure out their latch.

That's disgusting for them to expect that!

I had DD in June via C Section, midwives came to me to change dressing check on baby etc.

Congrats on your baby by the way op!

@Platax

Give it up, *@TatianaBis*, no-one's impressed.

With what?

You wanted a question answered, I answered it.

Are @TatianaBis and @RussianSpy101 the same poster? Russian-inspired usernames and both bloody obtuse.

Not sure if anyone has suggested this but you could phone the clinic and ask about patient transport or volunteers? You are absolutely right to not want to go on a bus with a newborn and a major surgical wound.

@WheelieBinPrincess

Pot kettle etc. Of course we’re the same poster, all the Russian names here are me.

It's not that many years ago that you were kept in 5 days post section - it is after all major abdominal surgery!
This change in policy is a huge backwards step in the care of the post partum mother and newborn and puts even more expectation on often knackered, traumatised and sore new mums. I had a quick normal delivery and could no way drag myself out on a bus across town with a newborn at 5 days!
A lot of midwives have the 'examination of the newborn' qualification but it doesn't sound like yours does however she can refer to one that has. Refuse to go, giving your very valid reasons, and an alternative will be arranged. All the best and congratulations!

It mirrors the changes with other surgery. People are discharged for all surgery far quicker than they used to be.

This was suggested to me. I told the midwife I was in no fit state to schlep my scarred, leaky body into town and would have to either not be seen or have a home visit. She came to my house.

I have a 14yr old and a 10yr old, both born by emcs, bad haemorrhage and more surgery after the first. Neither DH nor I drove when they were born. Actually, I did go to the clinic on the bus after 5 days with my first and when my second was 4 days old, I had to do a school run which involved a walk, a bus, and another walk.

Do I think all mothers should do the same? Fuck NO. You do what you can and whatever befits best recovery. Same as any surgery. My DH had a hellish vasectomy with a terrible infection and massive cysts developing. All sorts of twattish people told him he should be doing X and feeling Y because that's what happened for them.

And I didn't drive in rural East Anglia. Guess what? Nothing happened. We just adapted.

OP, I'm glad you're home after your last thread. Do ask for bfing support on here if you want. Take it easy and let yourself heal. Congratulations again.

@Cakeandcoffeea in what country?
In the UK that wasn’t the case in 2012.

You are definitely not being unreasonable.
I had a caesarean, admittedly 40 years ago, and couldn’t even stand up straight for a week. Wait until you’re feeling up to it.
If you have any concerns about your baby call out the midwife.

People saying get a taxi/Uber?? Like no you shouldn’t have to travel for a 5day check let alone just after having a section. I had a quick and easy natural birth when we were in last winter lockdown and midwifes still came to my home to do the checks. Tell them you really not ready to take you and your newborn out on public transport so they need to come to you

Health service saving money again Definitely do nothing on public transport.I used to be a midwife and no way way would I expect clients to do this .Since then I’ve had to do many checks on people to reassure them and baby that everything is okay

@RussianSpy101well it was at the hospital I was at. Must be different policy for each hospital.

And yes the uk!