Page 8 | To not travel around on busses 5 days post section with baby?

TrappedWindArse · 2021-10-30T10:19:24+00:00

I had a section Tuesday morning and have not long arrived home with baby (see previous post about being stuck on the postnatal ward after a hemmorage, no sleep, annoying visitors - yay) Midwife came round yesterday to check in with us and said I have to take baby into the nearest clinic tomorrow (Sunday) for my day 5 post birth check, to weigh baby and remove my dressing. The problem is it's 3.5 miles away and I don't drive. I'm exhausted, anaemic and still not able to walk very far. I'd need to use public transport and to be completely honest I'm just not up to going anywhere yet let alone miles away with baby in a sling. I remember these checks being done at home with my other children but apparently that has changed. Possibly because it falls on a Sunday? I don't know. Anyway, WIBU to say I'm sorry i just can't do that and ask for somebody to come to us instead? I know the midwives are very over stretched at the minute but I genuinely feel it will hinder my already slow recovery. Will that go against me somehow and make me look negligent for not complying? I'm a bit stressed.

BoredZelda · 30/10/2021 15:31

Fair enough if you could drive, but no.

You can’t drive post section either.

These checks were done by the GP 12 years ago when I had my daughter. Thankfully they agreed to do it in maternity triage as my daughter was still in NNICU so I did it when I visited her. I couldn’t have got on a bus 5 day post section. But, they don’t have the staff to send someone round on home visits so I guess that leaves taxi or getting a lift.

godmum56 · 30/10/2021 15:31

absolutely yanbu.

BoredZelda · 30/10/2021 15:32

Or, the MW will come out as I’ve seen now!

SmallPrawnEnergy · 30/10/2021 15:39

Glad the mw is coming out now OP. I have a 10 week old and all our appointments were at home and I had a fairly ok vaginal birth. Must vary by trust? Ours is shitty too.

I just don’t understand people who don’t learn to drive.
You do understand @TatianaBis you’re just doing the typical MN passive aggressive bullshit to voice your stupid as fuck opinion.

Musmerian · 30/10/2021 15:39

I think you need to be firm here. It’s absolutely not on. It’s all totally optional anyway - no one has to take their babies to be checked if they don’t want to. The dressing is clearly more of an issue and a district nurse should sort that if needed. It makes me furious that women’s health is not taken seriously.

itsallgoingpearshaped · 30/10/2021 15:48

"Sorry, I won't be doing that. We don't drive and I'm not up to the bus right now. No magic money tree for taxis."

YANBU at all

MrsLargeEmbodied · 30/10/2021 15:54

i also would get on with it,
you will need to at some point

MrsLargeEmbodied · 30/10/2021 15:58

oh wow, serves me right for not reading
they came out to me in the dark ages, for 10 days.
times have changed.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 30/10/2021 15:59

although i do remember i had to walk up to the baby clinic, with baby and toddler while i was unable to drive, so quite early days, that was hard and unforgettable

AvocadoOrange · 30/10/2021 15:59

I didn't have a C-section and there's no way I was ready to leave the house at 5 days postpartum (I mean maybe to the garden or for a short walk but wouldn't have coped going much further). Glad the op is sorted but it's really shocking that this is expected of any new mothers. It's probably not the midwife's fault but it shows how little prioritised the health of women and babies are

FrancesFlute · 30/10/2021 16:08

Great news, OP! I'm glad you didn't have to raise it in the end - you can do without the stress of thinking through that conversation in your head. Hopefully she read the thread

BeyondMyWits · 30/10/2021 16:11

TatianaBis

I just don’t understand people who don’t learn to drive

Well technically my eyesight is so poor I qualify as blind, but hey ho I'll give it a go...

TotallySuper · 30/10/2021 16:11

@Pumpkinqueeeen

I would just get on with it tbh. The sooner you get back to normality the better, especially when you don't drive or have anyone else who could drive you. Honestly getting up and about works wonders, just take it slowly. 3 days post section I was taking 2 buses to and from the hospital to see my baby in NICU, I didn't have any other option if I didn't want to fork out ££££ on taxis.

I agree. It sounds like tough love but I think you're being a bit difficult OP, yesterday it was complaining about the prescription and now it's this. Why not say it to the midwife etc rather than on here? Or make other arrangements. I am sure you have other friends and family that can help out other than just DH? This is not meant to sound harsh, I just think you sound as though you need to have a little bit of "you can do this!" Rather than pity and agreement.

BeyondMyWits · 30/10/2021 16:12

Glad your problems were resolved OP. Makes more sense for them to come out.

WakeUpTired · 30/10/2021 16:14

That's great OP. Good on your MW. It must be hard for them trying to deliver good care to women and babies when they are very stretched.

Mine is 3 weeks old and all my MW and HV visits have been at home. There have been loads, about 6? I'd have been able to get to physically a clinic if necessary but would have found it very painful and stressful and not sure what I'd have done with my older children.

We live about 30 minutes from the hospital and have been back 5 times since the birth for various tests and follow ups (jaundice, bleeding etc). I have been so lucky as my DH has driven me and has been off work, but I did wonder how on earth people manage if they don't have transport/a supportive partner.

Bogofftosomewherehot · 30/10/2021 16:16

I'm sorry OP and I really feel for you and under normal circumstances I would say stand your ground. But, like a PP has said all units are completely overstretched. They do not have enough MW's, many are working 15+ hour days without breaks day after day after day.

It's all very well others saying "but they came out to me" but this is not representative of what is going on right now and how it's an ever changing set of circumstances and community midwives are being called in to work on labour wards etc.

Most units have set up hubs over the last year and expect you to go to a central hub for check ups on day 5 and 10. This is now pretty standard. It is not their fault if your husband doesn't drive, you don't have family or friends or neighbours to help or that you don't want to get a taxi.

I'm sorry you're in this position but it's pretty representative of what's happening at present - they're not doing it to be mean - they're doing it as it's the only way they can feasibly try and offer a service with limited staff and funding.

PerseverancePays · 30/10/2021 16:17

Do not leave the house until you decide you are ready. Yes, the nhs is overstretched and underfunded, but that does not mean you have to risk yourself or your baby’s health to accommodate its shortcomings. I’m glad the MW is coming out and you can have your dressing changed by the pharmacy; everything else can wait.
NO MAN would ever get on public transport with a baby five days after abdominal surgery for a check up. Put yourself first and stay home.

Bagamoyo1 · 30/10/2021 16:21

I’m always slightly irritated by people who don’t drive for “environmental reasons”, but expect everyone else to drive them around or drive to them. I don’t think the environment cares who’s actually driving, the damage is still the same. I guess it’s a case of whose conscience it’s on, and who pays for the petrol!

Bagamoyo1 · 30/10/2021 16:24

@Bogofftosomewherehot

I'm sorry OP and I really feel for you and under normal circumstances I would say stand your ground. But, like a PP has said all units are completely overstretched. They do not have enough MW's, many are working 15+ hour days without breaks day after day after day.

It's all very well others saying "but they came out to me" but this is not representative of what is going on right now and how it's an ever changing set of circumstances and community midwives are being called in to work on labour wards etc.

Most units have set up hubs over the last year and expect you to go to a central hub for check ups on day 5 and 10. This is now pretty standard. It is not their fault if your husband doesn't drive, you don't have family or friends or neighbours to help or that you don't want to get a taxi.

I'm sorry you're in this position but it's pretty representative of what's happening at present - they're not doing it to be mean - they're doing it as it's the only way they can feasibly try and offer a service with limited staff and funding.

Exactly. And people constantly moan that they can’t get appointments for this that and the other, while not realising the basic maths. In the time it takes a midwife to visit someone at home, they could probably see 6 or more people in a health centre.

TatianaBis · 30/10/2021 16:33

@BeyondMyWits

TatianaBis

I just don’t understand people who don’t learn to drive

Well technically my eyesight is so poor I qualify as blind, but hey ho I'll give it a go...

Yes blind people not driving is exactly what I was referring to.

Platax · 30/10/2021 16:41

@WonderfulYou

Does your DH not have paternity leave?

I’d get him to go with you then he can carry the baby and bags so you don’t strain yourself.

OP would still have to drag herself on and off 5 buses, and you can bet the bus service will be poor on a Sunday. Just not doable.

Platax · 30/10/2021 16:42

@Jangle33

It’s clear this one of the repercussions of our stretched NHS. If there was enough midwives/funding to still do home visits then they would.

If I had a small baby and neither me nor my DH drove and no friends/family to give a lift then I’d be getting a taxi. It’s a cost of having a baby that would be factored in to my own choices.

How could you factor that in? Would you have known in advance that this would be expected, on top of a number of pre-section hospital visits for which a taxi was required? This is just ridiculous.

Platax · 30/10/2021 16:50

It’s clear this one of the repercussions of our stretched NHS. If there was enough midwives/funding to still do home visits then they would.

I'd question that, to be honest. Some of the NHS's problems are around the way they choose to use their funding. For instance, DSis works in a large hospital in a department where four of the admin assistants notoriously have done no work for months because they're constantly going off sick and/or doing nothing when they are in, but the NHS won't take any action to sack them. When DM was in a rehabilitation ward, they insisted on sending her in a private ambulance for a review appointment at another hospital. When she got there, they didn't examine her but simply asked a few questions which she was totally unable to answer, having had a stroke. Fortunately I was with her and could answer some of them, but not all. They could have achieved much more by phoning the nurses on the rehab ward, and saved a fortune.

I know these are different departments, but when they are that careless with public funds it's difficult to understand why they can't arrange staffing to enable patients to avoid impossible journeys after major surgery.

oviraptor21 · 30/10/2021 19:22

@TatianaBis

I just don’t understand people who don’t learn to drive.

In this situation I would either just not go or make an appointment at your local GP surgery.

In inner London and many parts of outer London it really doesn't make any sense to drive. There's nowhere to park - either at your home or where you're going to There's plenty of public transport which will often get you there quicker Having a car is way more expensive Using a car all the time is worse for the environment.

oviraptor21 · 30/10/2021 19:24

And no mother, 5 days post partum, C section or 'natural' birth should be expected to leave the home for anything but the shortest stroll.