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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not travel around on busses 5 days post section with baby?

296 replies

TrappedWindArse · 30/10/2021 11:19

I had a section Tuesday morning and have not long arrived home with baby (see previous post about being stuck on the postnatal ward after a hemmorage, no sleep, annoying visitors - yay)

Midwife came round yesterday to check in with us and said I have to take baby into the nearest clinic tomorrow (Sunday) for my day 5 post birth check, to weigh baby and remove my dressing.

The problem is it's 3.5 miles away and I don't drive. I'm exhausted, anaemic and still not able to walk very far. I'd need to use public transport and to be completely honest I'm just not up to going anywhere yet let alone miles away with baby in a sling.

I remember these checks being done at home with my other children but apparently that has changed. Possibly because it falls on a Sunday? I don't know.

Anyway, WIBU to say I'm sorry i just can't do that and ask for somebody to come to us instead? I know the midwives are very over stretched at the minute but I genuinely feel it will hinder my already slow recovery.

Will that go against me somehow and make me look negligent for not complying?

I'm a bit stressed.

OP posts:
PinkiOcelot · 30/10/2021 11:21

They can’t expect you to travel on public transport 5 days post caesarean miles away. Fair enough if you could drive, but no.

SusannahHolmes · 30/10/2021 11:21

Get a taxi?

TurnUpTurnip · 30/10/2021 11:23

Taxi?

parkle · 30/10/2021 11:24

Uber?

Nsky · 30/10/2021 11:24

Can someone not take you?

purplesequins · 30/10/2021 11:24

taxi or ask family/friends to drive you.

Original poster
TrappedWindArse · 30/10/2021 11:24

@SusannahHolmes

Get a taxi?
I've spent £70 on taxis over the course of the last week as I had to be at the hospital and back three days in a row in the run up to my operation, then home afterwards. I'm reluctant to keep doing that as it's costing me a fortune and I have so much to fork out for already.

Besides, I don't really feel well enough to do that either. I need to be at home where I'm comfortable.

OP posts:
Theuniverseandeverything · 30/10/2021 11:24

Can someone give you a lift? Do you have a partner?

Guiltypleasures001 · 30/10/2021 11:25

No and no
Op can't drive she's not allowed and they should come to her
They wouldn't expect a bloke to do all this after major surgery
Stand your ground op
And congratulations

Crazycatlady83 · 30/10/2021 11:25

Can you get the baby's father or a family member to take you? My DS is 4 months old. We had to take him to the clinic (my day 5 was a Tuesday) for his post birth checks etc. Was told it was "because of Covid". Can't see it changing back any time soon. Sorry OP, it really sucks - I hope you find a solution.

Congratulations on the birth of your newborn!

TimeForTeaAndG · 30/10/2021 11:25

Did you say any of this to the MW?

Original poster
TrappedWindArse · 30/10/2021 11:26

I have a DH yes but neither of us drive.

No local family who could take me as we live in another city.

OP posts:
Frankii · 30/10/2021 11:27

Why not call and ask?

Original poster
TrappedWindArse · 30/10/2021 11:28

@TimeForTeaAndG

Did you say any of this to the MW?
Unfortunately not as I felt a bit blindsided at the time. I'm planning on having a chat today when she calls to check in about my BF as arranged.
OP posts:
SultansOfMing · 30/10/2021 11:28

Just refuse.

I had similar, and I just repeated that it wasn't possible for me. They sent someone out.

GiltEdges · 30/10/2021 11:29

Well ultimately, in your shoes I'd just tell them I wasn't going, but would be perfectly happy for them to see me at home if they choose to. Not a chance I'd have been getting on public transport with baby 5 days after my CS.

ApolloandDaphne · 30/10/2021 11:30

When she calls just tell her its not possible for you attend this and can she arrange an alternative.

Munchyseeds · 30/10/2021 11:30

The policy sucks but it is what it is
Don't really see that you have any other choice but to get a taxi

ComDummings · 30/10/2021 11:32

There is just no way I’d do that, I would not even want to get a taxi at 5 days post op (I’ve had 2 csections). Call them and ask them to send someone to you.

clatterclatter · 30/10/2021 11:35

Don’t go OP, you aren’t well enough.

Don’t put yourself through bus rides, extra covid risks or the expense of a taxi. All my postnatal visits were home visits and I’ve seen them move towards hub type appointments. It’s not for your convenience and so I wouldn’t go if I didn’t feel up for it, ask them if they can visit you at home.

TakeYourFinalPosition · 30/10/2021 11:35

I’m 33 weeks pregnant but at last weeks midwife appointment, my midwife said we’ll have to make it to a community centre for baby’s day 2 and 5 checks, as they don’t have enough midwives at the moment for home visits. She was apologetic - my hospital has 62% of their usual midwives working at the moment, and they’re trying to hire more, but she doesn’t think it’ll happen in time.

You could call and see if there are alternatives? She might be able to arrange for someone to drop by… but they might not be able to. It’s rubbish; the current situation is horrendous, but really you need to know if it’s possible for someone to visit you - then you can make a call on whether you or DH taxi with the baby, or if you miss the check.

Its easy to say that they should be able to find an alternative for you - and I strongly believe they should - but my midwife said there just isn’t one here. The best we’ve come up with is that if I'm struggling, DH can take baby, and if I need dressings changing, I’ll go to a closer pharmacy for that… but realistically it’ll probably be easier for me to go with them both.

GiltEdges · 30/10/2021 11:35

@Munchyseeds

The policy sucks but it is what it is Don't really see that you have any other choice but to get a taxi
Well she does. It's OPs life and her baby, she's perfectly entitled to refuse to go.
Pumpkinqueeeen · 30/10/2021 11:36

I would just get on with it tbh. The sooner you get back to normality the better, especially when you don't drive or have anyone else who could drive you. Honestly getting up and about works wonders, just take it slowly. 3 days post section I was taking 2 buses to and from the hospital to see my baby in NICU, I didn't have any other option if I didn't want to fork out ££££ on taxis.

Littlehouseinthebigcity · 30/10/2021 11:36

Don't go! I was originally told to go into clinic post section and my husband did drive but when I went the midwife there was furious that I'd been sent and made sure all my future appointments were at home. If you say you can't get there they'll need to make alternate arrangements - it may be she's assuming your partner drives

Original poster
TrappedWindArse · 30/10/2021 11:37

Thanks all, I'm glad the poll sways heavily toward me not BU. I wanted to see what others thought before I put my foot down and said no I'm not prepared to do that.

I really feel for midwives at the moment as they are extremely busy but it's just not feasible for me in this shape.

OP posts: