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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not travel around on busses 5 days post section with baby?

296 replies

TrappedWindArse · 30/10/2021 11:19

I had a section Tuesday morning and have not long arrived home with baby (see previous post about being stuck on the postnatal ward after a hemmorage, no sleep, annoying visitors - yay)

Midwife came round yesterday to check in with us and said I have to take baby into the nearest clinic tomorrow (Sunday) for my day 5 post birth check, to weigh baby and remove my dressing.

The problem is it's 3.5 miles away and I don't drive. I'm exhausted, anaemic and still not able to walk very far. I'd need to use public transport and to be completely honest I'm just not up to going anywhere yet let alone miles away with baby in a sling.

I remember these checks being done at home with my other children but apparently that has changed. Possibly because it falls on a Sunday? I don't know.

Anyway, WIBU to say I'm sorry i just can't do that and ask for somebody to come to us instead? I know the midwives are very over stretched at the minute but I genuinely feel it will hinder my already slow recovery.

Will that go against me somehow and make me look negligent for not complying?

I'm a bit stressed.

OP posts:
WakeUpLockie · 30/10/2021 11:53

Yes both my kids are Monday born so we’ve had to travel for the 5 day check (Saturday). Yanbu about the bus!!

Dippidydoppidydoo · 30/10/2021 11:54

Hey. I had a C-section in June and told them I wasn't well enough to attend hospital five days post-partum. They sent someone out. Definitely not unreasonable. C-section recoveries are savage.

Congratulations by the way 😊

julieca · 30/10/2021 11:55

Ask them to come to you. They may ask people to come to them because most people will have a partner or family member who can drive there. Home visits take much longer to do. But if you cant get there, just tell them and ask them to visit you.
Its like lots of things. Lots of nursing for elderly people is down at the GP, but they will visit you at home if you cant get there.

AndSoFinally · 30/10/2021 11:57

Sod that. I couldn't even walk straight, 5 days after my section.

Just say no, OP. I'm a medic, nothing will go against you, they'll just send someone out to the house

Yogagrandmum · 30/10/2021 11:57

I know it’s irrelevant but the cost of having a baby in the US is up to $11000. We’re very lucky to pay next to nothing for all our health care.

LuaDipa · 30/10/2021 11:59

Agree that you should just tell them you can’t make it. I can almost understand being asked to visit the clinic after a normal birth but after a c section it’s pretty poor form. No one will hold it against you, just tell them you can’t make it.

WheelieBinPrincess · 30/10/2021 12:01

I did this.

Five days post section DH and I took the buggy on a bus then a twenty minute walk the other end to get to the hospital.

I was ‘ok’ after my section (went home the next day) but has run out of the stronger painkillers by this point. I was also having a shit time trying to breastfeed, and it was because of that I made us go- I was convinced the baby had dropped too much weight (he hadn’t)

I was in pain and tearful and the midwife said I must have PND Hmm brusquely weighed him and glanced at my wound and sent us on our way.

If I wasn’t feeling so vulnerable I’d have really kicked off about it.

Babs1937 · 30/10/2021 12:03

@Yogagrandmum

I know it’s irrelevant but the cost of having a baby in the US is up to $11000. We’re very lucky to pay next to nothing for all our health care.
My daughter in law had to have an emergency c section in the US and it was over $20,000 dollars. She did have insurance but still a hefty contribution was needed.
stealthbanana · 30/10/2021 12:03

Just don’t go. They tried to pull this shit on me after the birth of my second. I just politely but firmly told them I had no way of getting there and if they wanted to weigh the baby they’d have to come to me. They harrumphed but magically found a way to make it work.

(The midwife was totally useless when she arrived, but that’s a whole other story!)

Original poster
TrappedWindArse · 30/10/2021 12:03

@WheelieBinPrincess

I did this.

Five days post section DH and I took the buggy on a bus then a twenty minute walk the other end to get to the hospital.

I was ‘ok’ after my section (went home the next day) but has run out of the stronger painkillers by this point. I was also having a shit time trying to breastfeed, and it was because of that I made us go- I was convinced the baby had dropped too much weight (he hadn’t)

I was in pain and tearful and the midwife said I must have PND Hmm brusquely weighed him and glanced at my wound and sent us on our way.

If I wasn’t feeling so vulnerable I’d have really kicked off about it.

This is awful I'm so sorry. I totally get what you mean about feeling vulnerable Sad

I'm also having difficulty with BF. I'm very engorged at the moment which is just adding to my general feeling like shit.

OP posts:
Anoisagusaris · 30/10/2021 12:04

Not a chance would I be going anywhere, in a taxi, bus or own car, 5 days post section. Downstairs is as far as I went and probably not until after day 5.

Original poster
TrappedWindArse · 30/10/2021 12:04

I wasn't aware you could have a dressing looked at and changed at the pharmacy, I have one on my block so that could prove super convenient if it's something they'll do for me.

OP posts:
Looubylou · 30/10/2021 12:05

Explain you are not well enough to do the bus, have already spent more than budget allows on taxis, and politely request home visit. If you are refused, ask to speak to a manager and make a formal complaint. Say you are struggling to establish breast feeding on top of your own physical problems, and this is adding to your stress levels re the return bus journey. Sound distressed. Even after a vaginal delivery this is not patient focused care - some could add double incontinence to their list of woes at this stage.

ForkedIt · 30/10/2021 12:08

Jesus.
I’ve just had my second via c section and seemed to be back and forth to the hospital every day for a couple of weeks afterwards.
Me, DH and my mum were wondering what people with no transport do. We concluded that they must still send midwives out in that scenario as anything else would be utter madness.

Artie30 · 30/10/2021 12:14

My kids are 10&6 and both born by section. With my first they came to me and with my second I had to go to a clinic - 8 miles away! Thankfully dp could drive me but the it turned out there was parking - complete nightmare. It's wrong to expect new mothers particularly after a c section to be able to do this.

Personally op, I don't think a bus will be manageable. Lifting a pram on and off a bus is not ideal post section.

Is there anyone that me able to offer a lift?? Friends, family??

I would suggest taxi but not cheap!

MumInBrussels · 30/10/2021 12:15

I don't know how the system works in the UK, so can't suggest alternatives (though it sounds like there should be some, so good luck!) But I wanted to reassure you that you're in no way being unreasonable in not wanting to take all those buses so soon after having a baby, especially after a cesarian, and they shouldn't hold it against you! Maybe they could rearrange it for another day, somewhere closer to you, if they can't send someone to your house, at least?

And the previous poster who demanded to know why you couldn't drive, it's not that unusual in some places. Neither me or my husband drive, and we have 3 kids - hasn't caused problems so far. We live (and have always chosen to live) somewhere where there is good public transport - as, I'm sure, does the OP - and so far so good. So it's not essential, even with multiple kids.

Gwenhwyfar · 30/10/2021 12:15

"this will be the first of many scenarios where not driving will make life a lot harder for you all."

The driving's not an issue here is it. In normal times OP could walk to take the bus, just not at the moment.

Artie30 · 30/10/2021 12:18

@Pumpkinqueeeen

I would just get on with it tbh. The sooner you get back to normality the better, especially when you don't drive or have anyone else who could drive you. Honestly getting up and about works wonders, just take it slowly. 3 days post section I was taking 2 buses to and from the hospital to see my baby in NICU, I didn't have any other option if I didn't want to fork out ££££ on taxis.
Wow!! I appreciate your baby was in nicu which must of been really hard but you were travelling presumably alone. I don't think it would be ideal for op to be lifting baby in a car seat or pram on and off a bus! A pram will have to be folded if there's a wheelchair already on the bus! Not ideal for a mum recovering from a c-section.
SeptemberSongs · 30/10/2021 12:18

I definitely couldn’t have traveled on a bus with my baby five days after my section!

I agree with PP that they probably don’t have enough midwives for home visits. However, having worked in various roles on the NHS I know that the squeaky wheel gets the oil. So I think you should say no, absolutely not. If all women refuse to accept the negligent standard of care maternity services so often provide, they will have to change things.

Congratulations on your baby and I’m sorry you’ve had such a tough time.

Aozora13 · 30/10/2021 12:18

I have a 5 week old. In the 3 years between DC, the midwives in my area have moved from home visits to asking women to travel to clinics at 5 and 10 days. I got a lift from DH at day 5 but had to take 2 buses into a neighbouring borough on day 10. I had an entirely straightforward vaginal delivery with just a few stitches, and it’s my third DC. I was really unhappy about taking a 10 day old baby on various plague wagons and was fearing for my stitches. It was not a pleasant experience.

I sincerely hoped that they were still visiting mums in a more vulnerable (for want of a better word) position, eg recovering from major abdominal surgery. But apparently not. From my recent experience, if I were you I’d push for a home visit if you can.

WheelieBinPrincess · 30/10/2021 12:19

@Gwenhwyfar I wondered if there’d be a patronising ‘oh you need to drive!’ post. Bullshit. DH and I live in London, no parking available, no intention of getting a car, totally not necessary. Have never not managed or had to rely on lifts! Yes, even with a baby. People do it, I know it’s hard for some to imagine Hmm

stingofthebutterfly · 30/10/2021 12:19

I think, if you've given the midwife no indication that you would have trouble getting there, that she's not unreasonable to assume you would be able to get a lift from someone.

Ring the office and let them know you require a home visit tomorrow. Someone will fit you in and they won't think anything of it.

WheelieBinPrincess · 30/10/2021 12:20

I know it wasn’t you that made the original comment, sorry!

Crunchymum · 30/10/2021 12:22

Just speak to MW and explain.

It is a shitty policy (having to attend the 5 day check in person, at baby clinic) and my clinic was a 10 minute walk away after an easy vaginal birth and same day discharge

RussianSpy101 · 30/10/2021 12:24

I don’t see why you can’t? I walked to my 10 day appointment with my 2 older DC post c section. It was about 2 miles. Take the pram and walk it.