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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is rude and bin it?

240 replies

JakeyRolling · 30/10/2021 10:08

We bought out house four years ago.

Old owners were cheapskates and refused to set up a mail redirect so we had their number and for a couple of years (far too long imho) they would come and collect mail when we said we had some for them.

We had no mail for over a year so deleted their number (we've never known their new address).

Today we got a (what feels like) a card through the door with a handwritten note on the back effectively demanding we forward it as sender has lost their number/new address.

The sender fully acknowledges that they know the recipient no longer lives here, so it's been sent in the expectation that we will do the final legwork.

There's also no return address on the envelope so we can't even stick it back in the post box (which involves a trek into town).

Aibu to think sender is a CF and just bin the bloody card?

OP posts:
shoofly · 30/10/2021 10:10

Bin it, you don't actually have any other option as you have no way of contacting them

pinkyredrose · 30/10/2021 10:10

YANBU.

maslinpan · 30/10/2021 10:10

Enjoy tearing it up into tiny pieces.

VickyEadieofThigh · 30/10/2021 10:11

Yes, that is exactly what I would do. We had a similar situation with this house (we've been here 4 and a half years now) and it carried on for 3 years until we got heartily sick of having to contact the previous owners (as with you, no forwarding address, no redirecting of mail) and just started binning it.

Cherrysoup · 30/10/2021 10:11

Bin. Easy. Anything else, you write not known at this address and stick it in a post box when you pass one.

FluffyBooBoo · 30/10/2021 10:12

I wouldn't bin it. I would put it back in they letterbox with 'return to sender, not at this address' on it.

If there's no return address, that's not your problem.

MintJulia · 30/10/2021 10:13

Bin it. You are being used as a letter drop.

FluffyBooBoo · 30/10/2021 10:13

My reason being that they know where you live and could get arsey.

minou123 · 30/10/2021 10:14

That is so rude of the sender - expecting you to find the previous owners

Presumably the sender knows the previous owners so they need to do the leg work to find their new address/phone number.

For tgatvalone I'd bin it

TopTabby · 30/10/2021 10:15

We get a Christmas card for the house's previous owners every year & we've been here 23 years!! It's binned every year & I do wonder what sort of friendship there ever was to not realise someone has moved in all that time.
YANBU unreasonable to bin it & the note on the back is so rude. It's absolutely not your problem they lost the new address.

Chickychoccyegg · 30/10/2021 10:16

What cfs they are, bin it, as you can't get in contact anyway

LittleDandelionClock · 30/10/2021 10:16

Cheeky fuckers! Bin it. Or if it has a return address, just write 'not known at this address' on the back, and pop it in the postbox!

Ponoka7 · 30/10/2021 10:17

I'd open it and see if contact details are inside, or to check the contacts, rather than just bin it.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 30/10/2021 10:26

I would probably open it because if the senders don’t know the recipients new address they presumably don’t have any contact details for them so I’d guess that they’d have given their details inside the card. If they gave an address I would then write it on the envelope, sellotape it up and return it to sender (without postage, they can pay that). If there are no contact details inside either all you can do is bin it.

And before anyone comes along and says it’s illegal to open mail not addressed to you that’s not true. It’s fine to open it if you have a legitimate reason to do so and opening it to look for an address to return to sender is a legitimate reason.

amysaurus87 · 30/10/2021 10:36

Bin it, we do the same with any post we get for the previous owners of our house.

Stuff that has a return to sender goes back in the post box, but cards and stuff just get binned.

Beautiful3 · 30/10/2021 10:46

That's so weird, they've assumed you know their new address?! I'd just leave it on the side for a month, then open it to put it in recycling.

LittleDandelionClock · 30/10/2021 10:46

@amysaurus87

Bin it, we do the same with any post we get for the previous owners of our house.

Stuff that has a return to sender goes back in the post box, but cards and stuff just get binned.

Open the cards first though! They may have money in!
gettingolderandgrumpy · 30/10/2021 10:47

Bin it like you said you’ve done this for 2 years . You don’t have contact details so what can you do anyway ?

HikingforScenery · 30/10/2021 10:49

@LittleDandelionClock and then what? Steal it?

limitedperiodonly · 30/10/2021 10:49

@MolkosTeenageAngst good idea.

HikingforScenery · 30/10/2021 10:50

@TopTabby

We get a Christmas card for the house's previous owners every year & we've been here 23 years!! It's binned every year & I do wonder what sort of friendship there ever was to not realise someone has moved in all that time. YANBU unreasonable to bin it & the note on the back is so rude. It's absolutely not your problem they lost the new address.
Someone somewhere thinks their Christmas cards have gone without acknowledgment for 23 years, maybe? Confused
LittleDandelionClock · 30/10/2021 10:51

[quote HikingforScenery]@LittleDandelionClock and then what? Steal it?[/quote]
No, roll the money up and set fire to it, and light your cigarettes with it of course.

JinglingHellsBells · 30/10/2021 10:54

If you felt it was really personal and they needed to get the card, you could forward it to your solicitor who did your conveyancing. They would then forward it to the other people's solicitor. A huge amount of effort and as the sender admits they have lost the address, I'd not bother, but I might if it had been sent in ignorance of their move.

Bluntness100 · 30/10/2021 10:56

I think I’d see what it was first off, it might be important, and the person has no other way of contacting them,

Chocolatewheatos · 30/10/2021 10:57

Gotta be honest, I'd probably take any money out of it. Why waste it? The sender doesn't have it, the recipient won't get it. Would you really just bin money to not "steal"?
I would, however, leave the card unopened on my stairs for a month or two just in case the intended recipient turns up asking for it. If they don't come then I'd take the money and bin the card and tell them if they ever did turn up that you saved it for months then binned it.