Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is rude and bin it?

240 replies

JakeyRolling · 30/10/2021 10:08

We bought out house four years ago.

Old owners were cheapskates and refused to set up a mail redirect so we had their number and for a couple of years (far too long imho) they would come and collect mail when we said we had some for them.

We had no mail for over a year so deleted their number (we've never known their new address).

Today we got a (what feels like) a card through the door with a handwritten note on the back effectively demanding we forward it as sender has lost their number/new address.

The sender fully acknowledges that they know the recipient no longer lives here, so it's been sent in the expectation that we will do the final legwork.

There's also no return address on the envelope so we can't even stick it back in the post box (which involves a trek into town).

Aibu to think sender is a CF and just bin the bloody card?

OP posts:
SpookyPumpkinPants · 31/10/2021 21:01

[quote LittleDandelionClock]@SpookyPumpkinPants

OMG you were being SERIOUS?! You DO do all that for some randoms you don't know. #awkward

@Hertsgirl10

Sorry it is quite hard to tell that you’re not 14... 😊

Hard to beat that one to be fair. 😂 You win this battle. BUT I SHALL WIN THE WAR! Grin[/quote]
Yep, I hardly think it's a huge deal.

But you prefer to steal peoples parcels & money so I think we should just agree to disagree on this one.

OverweightPidgeon · 31/10/2021 21:03

We still get mail for the previous owners of our house, it’s been 5 years now , they didn’t give a forwarding address so all Mail for them goes in the bin . Whoever still thinks they live here can’t be that close to them imo.

SpookyPumpkinPants · 31/10/2021 21:05

[quote LittleDandelionClock]@Hertsgirl10

Happy Halloween to you too Smile No hard feelings! I know I'm a ranty gobshite sometimes.

Same message to you @SpookyPumpkinPants (though you're probably gonna just tell me to fuck off. Grin )[/quote]
Cross posted

Originally that was tempting but MNH Q frowns upon it these days, it was MUCH better when you could just tell someone to fuck off!

Happy Halloween 👻 🎃 to you too 🍷

saraclara · 31/10/2021 21:06

@niugboo

If it was me I would forward on with a very clear note included you won’t be doing it going forward.
She can't. She doesn't have the address to forward it to. Read the OP again.

OP, just open it. If the senders have lost touch with the previous occupants, it's possible that they've put their address in the card. If they have, re-address the envelope, write on the back that you don't have a forwarding address and stick it in the post box. Then you won't get any more from them.

Like I say, you're angry with the wrong people.

SpookyPumpkinPants · 31/10/2021 21:08

@LittleDandelionClock

After 12 years of owning this house, I have resorted to telling call centre type people that ask for the woman that owned this place before the people I bought it from (so probably about 20 YEARS ago that if they really want to speak to her, they'll probably have to dig her up!!

Bertiebiscuit · 31/10/2021 21:11

Straight in the bin and don't give it another thought

LittleDandelionClock · 31/10/2021 21:12

[quote SpookyPumpkinPants]@LittleDandelionClock

After 12 years of owning this house, I have resorted to telling call centre type people that ask for the woman that owned this place before the people I bought it from (so probably about 20 YEARS ago that if they really want to speak to her, they'll probably have to dig her up!![/quote]
Grin PMSL!

LittleDandelionClock · 31/10/2021 21:13

@SpookyPumpkinPants

Cross posted.

Originally that was tempting but MNH Q frowns upon it these days, it was MUCH better when you could just tell someone to fuck off!

Happy Halloween 👻 🎃 to you too.

Smile As I say, no hard feelings. Agree to disagree! Smile

MiniPumpkin · 31/10/2021 21:28

I’ve been in my house 6 years and the mail we still get is unreal, every one of them is an unpaid bill. Got to the stage I open them, call up the company and tell them they don’t live here. I don’t care if it’s illegal to open mail not addressed to me.. I stopped caring when the bailiffs arrived looking for them, they were so cheeky they thought I was the previous tenant, showed them ID and they went away.
I’d bin it op

riceuten · 31/10/2021 21:34

@JakeyRolling

We bought out house four years ago.

Old owners were cheapskates and refused to set up a mail redirect so we had their number and for a couple of years (far too long imho) they would come and collect mail when we said we had some for them.

We had no mail for over a year so deleted their number (we've never known their new address).

Today we got a (what feels like) a card through the door with a handwritten note on the back effectively demanding we forward it as sender has lost their number/new address.

The sender fully acknowledges that they know the recipient no longer lives here, so it's been sent in the expectation that we will do the final legwork.

There's also no return address on the envelope so we can't even stick it back in the post box (which involves a trek into town).

Aibu to think sender is a CF and just bin the bloody card?

Can't be that good a friend if they don't know the new address
caspersmagicaljourney · 31/10/2021 21:54

@FluffyBooBoo

I wouldn't bin it. I would put it back in they letterbox with 'return to sender, not at this address' on it.

If there's no return address, that's not your problem.

Agreed that's what I do. It's not my problem if there's no return address as I shouldn't have received it in the first place.
TractorAndHeadphones · 31/10/2021 22:33

[quote Tilltheend99]@TractorAndHeadphonesi doubt that would save you much space. Better to delete unused apps. Or offload them but keep the data if using Apple.[/quote]
It has nothing to do with space, I just don't like unnecessary things or pieces of information. Same goes for my house things that don't get used get disposed off.

Also w.r.t to letter sender being a long-lost child ... the big question is why not just ASK the OP if she knew where they were - or provided a contact number if there was a handwritten note? If the OP knows she would have told them, if she didn't they could have sent their own letter to the national returns center anyway.

flashy44 · 31/10/2021 22:36

Bin It without a second thought ,you owe them nothing,the fucking cheek of some people astounds me.
Someone said on this post it was childish to delete the number,how the bloody hell did you work that one out?Why is it?

Rainbowsew · 31/10/2021 22:47

Return to sender, with another note on back replying to the demand that you've forgotten the address too!

Which is what you'd say to them if there was any comeback from ignoring their demand.

I posted stuff on for a bit for our previous owners until I felt it had been long enough for them to sort it out themselves. After a year you have no obligation whatsoever.

saraclara · 31/10/2021 22:54

I'm still waiting to hear what they said that could be construed as a 'demand'. MNers are always referring to people 'demanding' when they mean they asked.

There's nothing CF about sending something to an old address and asking if it's possible for it to be forwarded. It's hardly a massive job to write a new address on an envelope. The senders aren't to know that OP doesn't have one.

Mamanyt · 31/10/2021 23:02

It is so far beyond rude as to be absurd! It is in no way your responsibility to have ever saved mail for the previous occupants to collect to begin with. This is why there is a redirect service (in the US, it's "mail forwarding," and is free). I MIGHT, if I were feeling particularly benevolent (a rare thing) have told them that I would collect their mail for six months ONLY, and after that, I'd expect them to have notified every one of their new address.

Bin that letter. And don't even think about it again. You've gone over and beyond, and I have to wonder if the letter is a test, to see if you are still willing to be their errand boys.

saraclara · 31/10/2021 23:11

@Mamanyt

It is so far beyond rude as to be absurd! It is in no way your responsibility to have ever saved mail for the previous occupants to collect to begin with. This is why there is a redirect service (in the US, it's "mail forwarding," and is free). I MIGHT, if I were feeling particularly benevolent (a rare thing) have told them that I would collect their mail for six months ONLY, and after that, I'd expect them to have notified every one of their new address.

Bin that letter. And don't even think about it again. You've gone over and beyond, and I have to wonder if the letter is a test, to see if you are still willing to be their errand boys.

Um. This is about the innocent people who've sent this card. Oblivious to whatever CFery the past occupants got up to.

Why would the letter be a test, FFS? It's just some people who think OP might have the address and could send it on. The past owners KNOW they don't have it.

So many posters conflating the issue with the previous owners, with these friends of theirs who are just asking a small favour.

WomanStanleyWoman · 31/10/2021 23:31

I have to wonder if the letter is a test, to see if you are still willing to be their errand boys.

Bloody hell, paranoid or what? I really can’t imagine that, three years after they’ve last heard from the OP, the former owners of her house are inventing elaborate ruses to see if she’ll still forward mail. Who has that sort of time on their hands - and if they do, why would they waste it on something so bizarre?

Regularsizedrudy · 01/11/2021 00:05

I can’t believe the amount of people that don’t realise writing “return to sender” on an envelope that has NO RETURN ADDRESS is absolutely mental.

Catflapkitkat · 01/11/2021 01:46

Just send it. They have lost the address, and want to reconnect. 2020/21 has held an icy grip on a lot of people. It would be a nice thing to do. By the time you have written this post/read and responded to the replies you could have sent it.

milkyaqua · 01/11/2021 01:52

@Catflapkitkat

Just send it. They have lost the address, and want to reconnect. 2020/21 has held an icy grip on a lot of people. It would be a nice thing to do. By the time you have written this post/read and responded to the replies you could have sent it.
Crikey! She can't just send it, as she doesn't have the address. It's there in the OP.
Cocogreen · 01/11/2021 02:10

If the sender has lost all their details and doesn't know any of their family and friends to ask they can't know them very well.
Just chuck it in the bin.

daisychain01 · 01/11/2021 02:22

@Regularsizedrudy

I can’t believe the amount of people that don’t realise writing “return to sender” on an envelope that has NO RETURN ADDRESS is absolutely mental.
It isn't actually.

In this context, putting the letter back into the postal system, means that the OP has absolved themselves of the unwanted burden of responsibility. It is a lot better legally, as throwing someone else's post into the bin is on dodgy ground legally. It's what I'd do in that situation.

The Post Office has the legal responsibility of handling post, and they have a process for post that they are unable to deliver. The sender of that letter / card was putting the burden onto the OP to deal with something that was none of their business.

SueblueNZ · 01/11/2021 03:14

I haven't ploughed through all nine pages of responses but have read JakeyRolling's posts.
Some will call me paranoid as they have other posters, but I am convinced that the card was generated by the entitled lazy cheapskate ex-residents. They have clocked that they haven't had any contact for ages re mail to collect so they have tried to re-start the process by putting the card through the box. Or they have asked someone to do it on their behalf. Cheeky sods.
Don't respond, Jakey. It is not your problem. Ignore.

DockOTheBay · 01/11/2021 03:32

@FluffyBooBoo

I wouldn't bin it. I would put it back in they letterbox with 'return to sender, not at this address' on it.

If there's no return address, that's not your problem.

Whats the point? If there's no return address the postal service will just have to bin it, why not save them a job and bin it yourself? The sender would never know the difference.