To think this is rude and bin it?

[JakeyRolling]

We bought out house four years ago.

Old owners were cheapskates and refused to set up a mail redirect so we had their number and for a couple of years (far too long imho) they would come and collect mail when we said we had some for them.

We had no mail for over a year so deleted their number (we've never known their new address).

Today we got a (what feels like) a card through the door with a handwritten note on the back effectively demanding we forward it as sender has lost their number/new address.

The sender fully acknowledges that they know the recipient no longer lives here, so it's been sent in the expectation that we will do the final legwork.

There's also no return address on the envelope so we can't even stick it back in the post box (which involves a trek into town).

Aibu to think sender is a CF and just bin the bloody card?

I recently received a letter from the daughter of an old friend of my mother's. Her mum had died and my mum had died - probably around the same time. She just wanted to say hi but had not got my address. Somehow or other she got the letter sent to me through the bank, though how she managed it I have no idea.

It was lovely to hear from her (I remember her as a baby when I was 2 ish!). We are now in regular contact.

So it's worth just putting the envelope (unopened) back in the post box with "not this address" on it. Eventually it'll get somewhere meaningful (RM do their best very successfully) so whoever can start attempting contact some other way.

@AudTheDeepMinded

Oh God, the previous occupant of ours used to turn up to collect post despite me asking her to set up a redirect. I got very fed up and may have binned the letter from the registry office requesting that she confirm her requested wedding date was still wanted. It was four years after she moved! Funnily enough, the post stopped shortly after.

Oooooh, that's proper evil. LOVE IT! 😈 😆

@limitedperiodonly

I don't understand why people get keyed up. It's not personal. This week I've received unsolicited post from several estate agents telling me how much they could sell or let my house for; restaurants offering to deliver exciting cuisine from around the world and a church staging an alternative Halloween service. I've put them in the recycling. Apart from the letter from HMRC. Sadly I'm going to have to pay that one.

What is 'keyed up?'

@TroysMammy

Only on Mumsnet you get people not thinking after 4 years, it's an inconvenience to forward on mail and do all the legwork. Stop being doormats. OP - open the envelope just to check there's no money in it and bin it. If the person who sent it to you gets in touch just tell them that Ethel and Stan obviously didn't give a flying fuck about them to give them have their new address.

Exactly. The people writing to the previous occupiers at YOUR home that you have lived at for 5+ years, obviously aren't THAT close, or they'd have the new address.

And yeah, in answer to a previous poster, you BET I would keep any money that came from some randomer to someone who left 5 years ago. More fool them for sending it to someone who they haven't visited for YEARS. (Can't have or they'd know they'd moved!)

WTF do you propose I do with it? Spend my precious limited time trying to hunt down the previous occupier to make sure they get their tenner? Or give it charrridddeeeee? Yeah sure.

No way. Not when I can get a cheeky Chinese takeaway instead. Thank you 'random nobody' for your tenner.

[quote limitedperiodonly]**@TroysMammy you sound very aggressive with your talk of doormats and flying fucks. Sorry to single you out when you're not the only person on this thread to say things like that. You were just the latest one. Are people really this angry in real life? It must be exhausting. Luckily I've rarely met them.

I'm not a doormat but my advice is that OP should throw the letter in the bin without a second thought because she does not have a forwarding address. If she feels like being Miss Marple she could open it to see if there is a clue to the recipient. Or perhaps there is birthday money in it. It would hurt me to throw that away, not because I would keep it for myself but so I could give it to charity. Isn't that the right thing to do? [/quote]
Oh this does piss me off. When someone gets a bit ranty or passionate or annoyed with something/someone, and someone comes on here with the 'you sound so angry' and 'calm down' bollux

@TroysMammy be as pissed off/ranty/annoyed as you want, and ignore the patronising 'why u so ANGRY?' comments. It's condescending, and is a way of shutting women down.

Oh, and like fuck would I donate the money from the envelope to charity. Nope, I really wouldn't. No, nope, nooooooo... #sorrynotsorry, as I said it would go towards a Chinese takeaway.

Oooooh, what a nasty feef I am!

@Gastonia that's lovely of you.

I used to send £20 to my niece and nephew every birthday and Christmas for years and also greetings cards without money to my brother and sister-in-law. As adults we didn't do presents for each other.

We live far apart and never used to visit each other's houses but meet up at my mum's or a restaurant. It was only when I went round there for a special party that I realised they lived at No 11 and not No 9 as I thought.

I'd been sending cards and £80 a year for two children's presents for at least 10 years addressed to them to their next door neighbours'. When I asked my brother and SIL were embarrassed. They eventually said they thought I couldn't be arsed but because they are nice they never said and continued to send us cards and be nice to us.

The neighbours had never mentioned this and pocketed the money even though they knew their names and smiled over the fence. It was a child's fucking money with "Dear S and P have a lovely birthday/Christmas all my love from Auntie Limited." FFS. How low can you go?

I wanted to go round there immediately but my brother and SIL convinced me that this would spoil the party and that they would do it in the morning.

Don't anyone dare say I was naive about sending money through the post. I was. But you don't expect neighbours to smile and ask you to water their plants when they are on holiday to steal your children's birthday money. As my brother and SIL made clear.

@limitedperiodonly

Why on EARTH are you sending cash through the post? £80 cash in the post.. REALLY?

It's 2021, not 1975. No need to send cash now at all.

@limitedperiodonly

We live far apart and never used to visit each other's houses but meet up at my mum's or a restaurant. It was only when I went round there for a special party that I realised they lived at No 11 and not No 9 as I thought.

I'd been sending cards and £80 a year for two children's presents for at least 10 years addressed to them to their next door neighbours'. When I asked my brother and SIL were embarrassed. They eventually said they thought I couldn't be arsed but because they are nice they never said and continued to send us cards and be nice to us.

You had been sending £80 CASH every year - in the post - for TEN YEARS before it emerged that they had not been getting the money? Is this a joke? Did you never think to ASK them if they had got the bloody money?

But you do sound angry @LittleDandelionClock as well as missing a Mumsnet trope. Of course if I found money in the street I would put it in my pocket. Hang around Mumsnet a bit longer and you'll find people insisting they'd turn a button in to the police.

@limitedperiodonly

But you do sound angry @LittleDandelionClock

So what? What business is it of yours? Why do you think you get to dictate how me - or @TroysMammy -or anyone else, speaks on here?

@LittleDandelionClock I'm not dictating. I find it endlessly fascinating to talk to you but I have to get on with the dinner.

So - ahem - what'cha gonna do OP?

We moved in last year and still get all sorts of letters for the previous owners - NHS (!!!), Specsavers, dentists etc etc. sometimes I returned to sender (not anymore though) but most of the time I rip it up and bin it. Not my problem, they moved out and didn’t bother letting people know their new address.

OK, you deleted their number. If you hadn't, you'd have been able to do a tiny kindness. Well done for being embarrassed about this. No marks for trying to twist it around to YOU being the victim.

Why do people get their knickers in a twist about things like this? The amount of you that take so much pleasure throwing it away 😂

Can you even try to track them down? They’re obviously desperate to contact the people, yes it’s annoying but it probably takes more time to come on MN compose a whole thread and keep up with all the comments, than it would to have a quick search on Facebook or even put a post up, what if someone in the family lost contact and has passed away? Could be any reason for this.

I had a NHS letter for a tenant that lived here before, I opened it cos at the time last year I was getting constant letters from them telling me to get vaccinated and I thought it was one of them, anyway it was a smear reminder that she hasn’t had one in so many years. I found her on Facebook and told her, took 10 mins and not had anything since.

@Hertsgirl10

Why do people get their knickers in a twist about things like this? The amount of you that take so much pleasure throwing it away 😂

Can you even try to track them down? They’re obviously desperate to contact the people, yes it’s annoying but it probably takes more time to come on MN compose a whole thread and keep up with all the comments, than it would to have a quick search on Facebook or even put a post up, what if someone in the family lost contact and has passed away? Could be any reason for this.

I had a NHS letter for a tenant that lived here before, I opened it cos at the time last year I was getting constant letters from them telling me to get vaccinated and I thought it was one of them, anyway it was a smear reminder that she hasn’t had one in so many years. I found her on Facebook and told her, took 10 mins and not had anything since.

Because it’s obviously rude and shows no respect for other people’s time? If they were that desperate they’d have left their name, phone number or address.

Instead it’s an anonymous piece of post dumping the responsibility onto the OP. Why isn’t whoever sending it doing the courtesy of revealing their own personal details?

@peaches36

We moved in last year and still get all sorts of letters for the previous owners - NHS (!!!), Specsavers, dentists etc etc. sometimes I returned to sender (not anymore though) but most of the time I rip it up and bin it. Not my problem, they moved out and didn’t bother letting people know their new address.

I also had this. Not only the previous owners but letters from the past 3-4 tenants! Return to sender never helped. Now I just bin them

Also @Hertsgirl10 surely the family could search FB themselves? Why should a stranger Do it

YANBU

Just bin it - and anything else that arrives.

@TractorAndHeadphones it’s really not that deep though is it? I mean the amount of anger from people in the comments, imagine people had an actual problem 😂 the hysteria over this is funny, Can just imagine how delightful you lot are in real life

Bin it or if you're feeling kind repost with - return to sender not known at this address. Or if like me you decide to be kind then put by the front door, find it again in a few months then bin it. You have a world of choices

@limitedperiodonly

I find it endlessly fascinating to talk to you...

I wish I could say the same about you.

I would d put it back in the box. I had a landlord who was claiming to his bank to be living at our rental. Two years later he was still at it. I let the revenue know as he totally abused us even after we left. Tight arsed wozerks.

@BlurtingOutTheInsideVoice

Bin it or if you're feeling kind repost with - return to sender not known at this address. Or if like me you decide to be kind then put by the front door, find it again in a few months then bin it. You have a world of choices

".......if you are feeling KIND!"

Bleurgh! 🤢