To not know how anyone pissing does this?!

[YaImStruggling]

How the fuckity fuck do people get themselves back together after having a baby?

My son is 9 months old and I still look like a fat deflated pancake who's hair is scraped into a greasy bun 7 days a week on top of my spotty head.

I feel like I have no time to even remotely think about getting back to "me". How the fuck do people do it? I used to be slim, I was so happy with my body before pregnancy and birth. I want to lose weight but don't seem to have the time to make healthy meals, I want to make more effort with myself like my hair or makeup but literally WHEN. My son spends all day basically trying to kill himself with anything he can find so unless I throw on a coat when I've rolled out of bed and take him out for the day looking like shit then I spend all day chasing him round the house (just started crawling).

I absolutely love being a Mum but I am just horrified at how shit I look permanently at the moment but feel I have no time to do anything about it.

When do you start feeling like yourself again, or at least getting one minute to actually do something for you?

I have a husband but he works long hours so by the time he's home it's more like tea, bath, bed and crash.

Yet I go out and see other mums who look so put together with babies younger than DS. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong.

I have an outdoor kid who hates TV. He's just 18 months.

I get up early to shower etc. I don't bother with makeup, but did order some decent new clothes (that don't need ironing) at about 9 months to make me feel better.

Exercise wise:

• walk with pram (it was lockdown, I did 6+ miles a day as there was fuck all else to do)
• towed trailer on bike miiiiles and up loads of big hills
• got a jumperoo so I could pee / shower /dress alone (yes, I know, jumperoos are evil etc etc but I miss that thing now)
• took DS to swimming (get a decent instructor and it's water aerobics whilst swishing a baby around)
• told DH I was claiming 1 night a week to do what the he'll I liked

Now I chase DS around a field on his balance bike and still walk miles. I live in the countryside and there's sod all else to do :')

Playpen! It was a life saver for me. Only way I could actually get anything done. Or sometimes I’d use a travel cot as somewhere to put baby in with some toys so I could get on with things. Can you get your partner to take over so you can pop to the gym? Even if you start off doing one evening a week. Also dry shampoo, a great concealer, mascara and bronzer always make me feel better

Like Pp say bring him in the bath or shower with you.

A few other suggestions:
Invest in an over the head towel for him so can can sort yourself but he’s warm and resort to an all in one shampoo and conditioner for you.

To dry your hair pop Him in a rocker and turn the hair dryer gently on him every now and again. Mine still love this ‘game’ at 5 and 7.

Find a cc cream that works a white creAm that colour matches means you can’t go wrong. Use this and a waterproof mascara whilst he is in his high chair.

There are loads of baby lifting ( essentially using him instead of weights) and he will LOVE watching you do a 7 minute work out.

Eat your main meal for lunch and have a lighter meal in the evening.

Lay your clothes out the night before and get into them as soon as you wake up.

I use:

www.boots.ie/erborian-cc-crème-45ml-10301465?cm_mmc=ROI_PPC--Shopping--Shopping_GA-_-Unknwn_At_Mgrtn&utm_source=roi_ppc&utm_medium=shopping&utm_campaign=shopping_ga&utm_term=Unknwn_At_Mgrtn&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_fiLBhDOARIsAF4khR2ruOmEPdBn6iSSrGzDr71LL-8ADB9u_duJFKunYIptYaNJ2j7rpV0aAnqxEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

www.jojomamanbebe.ie/striped-toweling-pull-ons-b8588.html

Good luck!

Having time is the answer.

Dc1 - difficult birth and recovery, DH working all hours under the sun, I was expressing, very little support. I took TWO YEARS to lose the weight I’d gained in the first six months after he was born (I lived on toast with butter and jam, as it was so quick and easy, I could make and eat it before Dc1 really really screamed) and baby was really demanding

Dc2 - I had childcare in place which gave me more time. Dc1 was also in pre school in the mornings. I took FOUR MONTHS to lose the weight and had time every morning to do hair and make-up (very basic, nothing that interesting) and my clothes fit so I felt more confident.

If there’s any way of getting yourself some time, then do it.

Something that helped a lot - in the middle of the day, i would make the bathroom safe, so a lock on the loo seat, proper lock on the door and put loads of toys on the floor. And then I’d run the bath. When the bath was full, I’d take Dc1 up to the bathroom with me and let him play on the floor whilst I had a bath. So he was safe, he could see me so wasn’t distressed and I got my bath.

I second everyone else with the travel cot idea. I also made a point of arranging lunches, etc, with people I knew pre-baby because it encouraged me to make more of an effort . I swapped to a hairdressers that was within walking distance.
Once the DC were a little older but still babies, I took two nights per week to go to the gym or a Rosemary Conley class. Dh looked after DS and I went religiously. I was the youngest person at the Rosemary Conley class by about 20 years but I liked the combination of eating advice and exercise class.

Op I have 3 children. No family help and DH works long hours. My elder 2 children were just over 18 months apart, and I was like a whippet after each of them due to breastfeeding and stress.

My youngest is 13 months. Still breastfeeding. I wanted things to be different this time, and, knowing this is my last child, to reclaim my life so I:

1. When baby was 6 weeks old I started with a woman’s health physio to get myself in slightly better physical condition.

1. Started slimming world when he was about 3 months, and lost most of the weight.

1. Got a brilliant hairdresser and get my hair done every 8 weeks. Excellent cut and colour that I can style easily.

1. (This one might be harder if your DH isn’t there in the morning or evening), but 2 x mornings a week, I go to a very early exercise class, 2 x evenings a week I go to a running group and 1 x early afternoon a week I go to PT (with whatever children are home, so usually just the baby, but if school is off, all children come).

1. I have bought cheap-ish but relatively fashionable clothes to wear that need little upkeep but look nice.

Above all, I have accepted that my body is not the same as it used to be, but it has made and sustained 3 children and for that I am extremely grateful. I will now treat it will, respect it and hope that it keeps in decent I’m enough Nick that I get to see the children grow up!

Solidarity from me I have a newborn and look like shot permanently.. with my first it was about a year when I started to get myself back together - started a diet, putting make up on and getting my hair coloured on the regular.. I found that’s when my hormones seem to settle too.. that and baby gating the shit out of my house and taking every sodding door knob, radiator knob and all sorts off so he didn’t bump his head.. we definitely and inevitably got bumps and bruises but limited day time to our lounge so he had a smaller space to navigate..

Sorry forgot the workout - it’s actually 9 minutes with breaks. Makes a difference if done daily when he naps but I bet he loves watching you do it. There are loads of others online some that target specific body areas. This is great to start:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=JnMK_KIpxXM

When you go back to work you will feel
More like you

Step aerobics. At home. The Reebok workout (it was on Youtube) took a while to learn and I had to build up to it, but the weight dropped off once I realised that the washing up could wait.

7 months PP ,and 4 pounds off my pre baby weight ( but with extra half a stone of lockdown down weight lol) and I honestly just think it’s because I’ve no time to eat!!?
Still can’t get out of my 16 jeans though!? How!? Why!? I was in 12s at half a stone lighter !? Fucking soul destroying jeans…

I wear: cool sunglasses, a nice coat ,hat n scarf. And this makes me feel/look a bit smarter.

Most of the time I’m in pjs and a junkie-bun with half a can of dry shampoo on my baldy baby -hair -loss head.
Get your lashes lifted and your brows tinted so at least you’ll feel a bit fresher.
If it’s any help: my house looks like shit all week and I manage to put on body lotion about once a week if I’m lucky

• and if you attach the Fitbit to your bra when you walk-it’ll count your steps when you push the pram !!!

I took a year to get back to (almost) normal. I had no family help (or nannies!) and that does make it doubly hard.

For gods sake just be easier on yourself. Give it time and enjoy your baby and stop stressing about how you should look. As a mother of twins I was so hard on myself and never felt that I was enough for my partner in my boring life as a mother but I did my best and my time came later.

Yeah I’ve got a 4 and 7 year old and still not put my makeup back on or done my hair nice since DS1 was born! I just don’t really care anymore 😂

I've found the opposite. Having a baby has been great for weightloss as our main activity is walking, and not much time for eating!

I found a jumperoo or similar was really useful for a few months. I also used to stick mine in a travel cot with toys whist I showered and got ready. Baby TV, twirlywoos, postman Pat and Bing were all great at helping out too!!

When DD was that age I would bring her into the shower with me. Once she got older and more mobile, I just put her in her own cot with some books while I showered and got ready. We still do this now at age 2.

This is why babies have routines. They don't care but it gives the mother five minutes to herself...well that's the theory.

But it's OK to have downtime too. Mums these days seem to be so busy filling every second of the day with activities and going out. Just stick baby somewhere safe and have some time to yourself.

Much of it is down to circumstance. I’d get ready during baby’s first nap or husband would sub in in the morning for 40 before leaving for work. Or I’d shower the night before. Or baby in bouncer while I did mini routine and let him whinge. Now if necessary toddler gets 30mins TV.

I lost the weight (but was still a size 14 as before so nothing crazy) by breastfeeding and walking everywhere.

Some days were trackies and make up free for sure.

Bless you. Well you are normal and we all feel this way. Maybe join a gym or do some classes. Your post made me laugh you have a good sense of humour. Keeping your spirits up and being able to try get out to meet people etc is important too x

I really feel for you. Ds1 was just the same, he was walking at 9 mths and into everything if I turned my back for a nano second. My mum got me a wooden playpen, he shook it so hard it broke! I then got a new travel cot type one, he piled all his toys into the corner and managed to climb out of it... I was constantly exhausted, he never napped either.
He calmed down a lot when started playgroup though. I used to wash my hair in the middle of the night! Hang in there, it will get easier soon.

Put him In a playpen
Have a shower
Lay your clothes out the night before

Bathe with your baby. It’s lovely bonding playing time while u can actually relax and wash your hair. Assuming they aren’t one for pooing in the bath…

Mines nearly 2 and I still look and feel like crap.
I lost all the weight because I don't have time to eat and the fucker is FAST.
My hair is lucky to get washed 1/2 a week and I try to atleast shower every other day or when he's in bed.

It's the dark side of motherhood nobody talks about but you are not alone.

@snackess

Mines nearly 2 and I still look and feel like crap. I lost all the weight because I don't have time to eat and the fucker is FAST. My hair is lucky to get washed 1/2 a week and I try to atleast shower every other day or when he's in bed.

It's the dark side of motherhood nobody talks about but you are not alone.

The dark side of motherhood. Excellent description.