To not know how anyone pissing does this?!

[YaImStruggling]

How the fuckity fuck do people get themselves back together after having a baby?

My son is 9 months old and I still look like a fat deflated pancake who's hair is scraped into a greasy bun 7 days a week on top of my spotty head.

I feel like I have no time to even remotely think about getting back to "me". How the fuck do people do it? I used to be slim, I was so happy with my body before pregnancy and birth. I want to lose weight but don't seem to have the time to make healthy meals, I want to make more effort with myself like my hair or makeup but literally WHEN. My son spends all day basically trying to kill himself with anything he can find so unless I throw on a coat when I've rolled out of bed and take him out for the day looking like shit then I spend all day chasing him round the house (just started crawling).

I absolutely love being a Mum but I am just horrified at how shit I look permanently at the moment but feel I have no time to do anything about it.

When do you start feeling like yourself again, or at least getting one minute to actually do something for you?

I have a husband but he works long hours so by the time he's home it's more like tea, bath, bed and crash.

Yet I go out and see other mums who look so put together with babies younger than DS. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong.

Before baby arrived, I’m guessing you had lots of time for pampering. Now baby is here you need to prioritise. Moisturiser, foundation, mascara is the basics. Takes 3 mins, after a 5 min showers (baby in playpen) All done in under 10 mins. Everything at speed.
Lots of pram power walking will make the weight history. Listen to the radio (not TV) keeping you abreast of current affairs - enabling you to have adult conversation whilst mixing with other adults (given the chance) Self care just needs tweaking when a new Mummy. It’s all possible whilst still keeping baby safe.

Sorry but I had no time, no money and no family I the country, routine is key, so up arms in the shower straight away (baby in bouncer in the room at times) then go from there,you feel better when you are at least properly showered first thing

Travel cot downstairs and pop him in the cot when upstairs getting ready. I used to give my son loads of colourful books to look at when I was getting ready. He loved them and learned to read early, I think, as a result of this.

I used to stick my DC in their cot with a selection of toys while I did my hair/make up

Stop stressing. Sleep when your baby sleeps.....and soon you wil feel better. Leave the housework....just keep stuffing washing in machine. But dont fold or iron. Clean clothes go in big laundry basket to fish things out when you need them. Put baby in baby chair or car seat and have a shower.....or bath. Its ok to strap them in a seat for a few mins u til you feel like you have pampered yourself a bit. A playpen can work too.

It’s so hard!
I switched my morning shower to an evening one when my husband was home. At least I was always clean with clean hair.
I’d always just pop foundation just so my skin looked ok.
No advice on weight I’m afraid- 7 years later I’m still fat 🤣
My daughter was a 18 months old before it ‘clicked’ and I then started working it all out.

It gets easier once you put them in nursery for a few hours a week.
I’d have 1 afternoon a week where I’d have a bath, paint my nails, have my hair done or go clothes shoping

My rule was showered, hair wash and full face of make up before 8am. I had no help other than DH and we factored this 30 mins into routine including him before work.

I used to get ready before my husband left. Even if it was 6am or whatever. I’d get up then and have a shower and do hair etc (I still looked like shit though but at least I’d had 30 mins or so to get ready and feel normalish)

Some people have easier babies than other that’s my theory. If I could sleep or do anything at all when the baby sleeps in the day (ha!) then I would have a lot more time to do thing. She will only sleep on me so I spend most of my time nap trapped (which is cute) but if you have a baby you can put down for naps then obviously you’re going to have alot more time for things like exercise and makeup. Currently the only time I have to do anything is about 10-20 mins after a feed every 2-4 when LO is content and that time is used for eating, showering, sorting washing and doing the dishwasher. I just tell myself it’s a phase and I will have more time for that stuff later.

However, to make you feel better, remember not everything is always as it seems. I weigh less now than before I was pregnant and everyone has told me that I don’t even look like I had a baby! I just smile and nod but I find it very upsetting - my baby was born 6 weeks early so I didn’t get to the point of putting on much weight. I’d rather my baby was born full term and I gained a few stone. I also lost what little weight I did put on very quickly as I have a very unsettled baby who cries ALOT so I spend the vast majority of the day bobbing or walking her in the sling. Again, i’d trade any weight gain if it would make my baby happier as it breaks my heart when she seems so unhappy.

I do find if I can throw on some foundation and mascara it makes a big difference though (usually while baby is in the sling!).

Aww bless you.
Sounds obvious but only buy in healthy foods, snack on fruit. Breakfast I tend to have a smoothie as it fills me up, soup for lunch and healthy meal for dinner.
Walking is a godsend as it gets fresh air for you and baby, and blows away the cobwebs. I’ve lost baby weight by walking miles daily, coupled with the above diet.
Be kind to yourself. When the baby has been fed and is content, do a 5 min make up routine. Foundation, concealer, blusher, bronzer and mascara.

I know it’s tough at the moment, but it will ease and you will eventually go back to feeling more yourself x

I totally second the walking, I got a puppy a year ago and am now walking over 10,000 steps a day every day and weight has shifted.

My hairdresser lets people take babies in buggies abs I’ve seen people at nail places too can you do that to give yourself a lift?

Short answer to your question? Be selfish! Sounds horrible I know but I had twins then another so 3 under 3. I knew if I didn't eat/look after myself first then ultimately they'd suffer. So yes, I put them in playpen whilst I had a shower, ignored them a bit so I had breakfast and kept them to a routine so I had time to myself when they napped. I mostly took them out to nap in buggy and then left them in buggy whilst I had a cuppa 😁 (buggy in hall). You say baby doesn't nap- I didn't always worry if they actually napped. I put them in their cot anyway and treated it as quiet time. As they got older this continued but they read books.
As for body...well, it's never gone back to normal but that's because I'm lazy!

Mine stayed in their cot for an extra 5 minutes whilst I showered in the morning.