To embrace getting older?

[donemeover]

I don't know why older people always talk to younger people as though they're jealous and wish they were young again.

Saying things like 'these are the best years of your life when you're young' isn't how I feel. Youth is full of ignorance and insecurity a lot of the time and uncertainty that I really didn't enjoy.

Getting older for me feels liberating, I've accomplished things and am proud of it that I couldn't have down when I was young. I have less test idiot men to content with approaching me as I get older, I am more confidence, I have less social anxiety, and I am frankly starting to give much less fucks about other people and what they think/how they receive me.

There are Many benefits to ageing, I don't see the majority of them as a massive disadvantage.

Also - I'm not fussed about when my days are over really and I die. I don't want to live forever!

Anyone else with me on this or am I weird?

My lovely DGM said that she didnt want to be young again but she did want to be 60. At 60 she was retired and her and my DGF went on lots of holidays, they had money, time and grandchildren.

35 is young!

If I had to choose, I would say my favourite era was between the ages of 35 and 55. Until my mid 50s, I felt fit and well (and I was!).

Things began to decline after that. Brain fog, insomnia, cognitive decline, aches and pains, floaters in eyes, thinning hair etc etc.

Getting older is no picnic - it feels like you have to run harder and harder in order to stand still (ie to maintain what you have). "Use it or lose it" is the mantra.

If I were able to go back and speak to myself when I was 35, I would give myself this advice:

• Start taking HRT as soon as you hit perimenopause.
• Don't allow your BMI to go below 22.
• Eat plenty of vegetables.
• Eat more protein.
• Eat calcium-rich foods or take supplements.
• Take a daily vitamin D3 supplement.
• Exercise frequently: dancing, skipping, jumping, running, press ups, lifting weights etc.

I think if I had done those things, I would be in a better position today.

So, all of you younger ones reading this, take note!

Hahaha. 35.

I think atm you are 35. You are older than when you were 25 but you are still in the younger age group. Definitely not in the middle aged or old age group.

There is a huge difference between 35 and 45. And an even bigger difference between 45 and 55.

Until you have experienced this leap then you cannot really comment on what it is like to get old.

I don't know why older people always talk to younger people as though they're jealous and wish they were young again

Because they are living the effects of what getting old is like.

Getting older at some point tips into being old
All the things you are proud of achieving will mean nothing. If you lose your job then it won’t matter what you have achieved or what qualifications or experience you have. People just see a number and your CV will be in the bin.

You are still at the age where people see you. (I mean that literally) They probably acknowledge you, divert their line of walking so they don’t crash into you.
You know you are old when you suddenly find yourself virtually knocked off your feet by someone walking into you and they don’t even acknowledge you are there. You are invisible to them.

I am sure if there were no CCTV cameras I could if I wanted to, hold up a bank and walk out with the contents and not get caught because if they asked the customers and cashiers I suspect no one would be able to describe me. It is like being the invisible woman

And then there is the physical pain.

And don’t think that if you look after your skin, don’t sunbathe and larger on the anti aging creams morning and night that you won’t need more invasive treatment.

I have incredible skin for my age
The fact that my face is falling off my skull is another matter
Surgery is the only answer and I can’t afford it.
I could when I was in my 20s but I didn’t need it then.

Some people have their shit together when in their 20s They are confident and can achieve anything
Just because you weren’t in that place doesn’t mean everyone wants to get old

As I have said. I would trade all the wisdom for youth because what is the point of wisdom if you are invisible

God this thread is depressing. So many negative posts about aging! Way to make people feel shit about what is coming.

@CookPassBabtridge ageing is not bundle of laughs for many people. I don’t see the need to lie about it. Some people are lucky enough to be pain free and not give a shit about what they look like, not to care that they are in invisible. I do care and many others do too.

[quote Ponoka7]@changeyourname11111, is that your personal experience, or are you feeding into what other people think? If you have friends, go out and you'll find lots of single men in their 50's wanting women of a similar age. Internet dating is different, you do get them wanting younger women. But there are over 50 dating sites.[/quote]
I guess my personal experience is that my life is completely devoid of anything relating to attraction or the possibility of finding another relationship. Since my divorce I have been on some platonic dates with one person from a dating site and they lead nowhere. I’ve stopped even attempting to look at OLD sites now as it is too depressing.

In the context of this thread however, it’s more that with the being invisible thing, how does anyone in my age bracket ever manage to meet anyone. Even with the potentially meeting people through friends there would have to be an attraction, but it feels as it that part of me is gone forever.

Someone advised me to look people in the eyes - smile etc.. But all I can think is that they would probably wonder what on earth I thought I wanted (not that I am brave enough to do that in any case). For me there is some kind of shame involved - my appearance is changing so who am I to think that I could attract anyone iyswim.

Well! This thread wasn't what I was expecting .

OP - agree with some of the points you have made but agree where others are saying that 'ageing' as viewed by someone of 35 is very different to 55 .

And I think that this comment particularly Also - I'm not fussed about when my days are over really and I die. is very easy to say when chances are you have a good 40 years left (unless there's a massive drip feed to come....)

The poster who is talking of ensuring you eat a healthy diet and maintain exercise etc makes a very good point as there are a lot of things you can do at 35 to keep you stronger and healthier for longer - although as others have said there is so much beyond our control . But if you can do what you can .

I found my early 50s difficult with menopause and juggling elderly parents and teenage DC. Am quite content at the moment (late 50s).

Lmao!! 35? Come back when you’re pushing 50

Totally with you OP. I am much more content within myself and understand myself better so have less anxiety and am less easily pushed around.

Also - my best friend from uni died aged 24, my cousin recently died aged 37 and my MIL died 4 years ago, missing out on meeting her grandchildren. I think of the 3 of them often and can't help but think what an absolute blessing it is to grow old.

@whereislittleroo

Totally with you OP. I am much more content within myself and understand myself better so have less anxiety and am less easily pushed around.

Also - my best friend from uni died aged 24, my cousin recently died aged 37 and my MIL died 4 years ago, missing out on meeting her grandchildren. I think of the 3 of them often and can't help but think what an absolute blessing it is to grow old.

This is how to look at it 🖤

I actually agree @donemeover. Having survived my twenties which were both extremely awful and brilliant for different reasons at various times, had my first two beautiful children in my thirties and on the whole a really good decade and survived my turbulent forties when I had my last child, two teenagers with their own issues and various health problems of my own including full menopause. I now find myself in my early fifties, through the menopause and thankfully fit and healthy.

I feel that this is my time coming now. My marriage has thankfully survived and we are strong together. Two of my Dc are adults now and making their own way. Financially we are better than we’ve ever been and we’ve had some tough times.

I appreciate the opportunity to grow older, will do my best to stay fit and healthy and hope I get to see all my children happily settled with their own families at some point. I want to enjoy the next couple of decades as much as I can.