To embrace getting older?

[donemeover]

I don't know why older people always talk to younger people as though they're jealous and wish they were young again.

Saying things like 'these are the best years of your life when you're young' isn't how I feel. Youth is full of ignorance and insecurity a lot of the time and uncertainty that I really didn't enjoy.

Getting older for me feels liberating, I've accomplished things and am proud of it that I couldn't have down when I was young. I have less test idiot men to content with approaching me as I get older, I am more confidence, I have less social anxiety, and I am frankly starting to give much less fucks about other people and what they think/how they receive me.

There are Many benefits to ageing, I don't see the majority of them as a massive disadvantage.

Also - I'm not fussed about when my days are over really and I die. I don't want to live forever!

Anyone else with me on this or am I weird?

35! Ha ha this is so obviously a wind up.

And I think that enjoyment levels DO go up and down throughout life. Research has proved that happiness levels fluctuate a lot. So I dont think it’s unusual to find your 20s and 30’s exciting and fulfilling, your 40s having happiness levels dipping for a while, and then 50s and 60s slowly bringing the happiness levels back up once kids have flown the nest, disposable income may be better and the freedom of retirement or semi-retirement beckons, with rediscovering your partner as an opposite number and not just a co-parent. Or indeed getting rid of them after years of staying with them “for the kids”

I’ve seen “happiness” graphs somewhere done by psychology researchers. I think OP is at one of the peaks. and should embrace that, but be prepared for fluctuations in that feeling of contentment in the years to come.

I think that what you are embracing isn’t getting older. It’s being more mature overall.

I agree with pp that ‘getting older’ is normally about people getting old (aka over 50+) not reaching what is often ‘the peak of your life’. Still healthy, young enough to be ‘seen’, young enough to make plans for what feels your whole life.

Arriving at 50yo, there is a sense of having lived more than half of your life. That ill health is more likely to be round the corner (50% of people over 60yo have a chronic health condition). It ID a different outlook, than what happens in your 30s.

Having said that, enjoy your new found maturity (we all got it around then). Carry on building your confidence and your dont give a fuck attitude. You’ll find that arriving around 50yo, you’ll realise that you can much further than where you are just now :)

I'm not actually happy, I have had many challenges actually - most Recently depression. So this is far from a goady post.

It's not about being blissfully happy it's about accepting my lot in life and becoming more confident and secure with it.

35 😂😂😂

[quote donemeover]@Ted27 good for you and pleased to hear this can still be done at 50, as some posters seem to think it's impossible and goady to be anything but miserable as you get older. [/quote]
What a load of goady crap.
Op you've started a thread stating how you feel, some posters don't agree with you and you've got really shitty saying how right you are .what is the point of this thread if you don't want responses??

Also infertility so if one more fucker talks to me about not knowing anything about life and being goady, do one.

I really didn't want to get Ranty but don't comment on me if you know nothing about my life and assume because I'm young it's a bed full of roses.

@donemeover

I'm not actually happy, I have had many challenges actually - most Recently depression. So this is far from a goady post.

It's not about being blissfully happy it's about accepting my lot in life and becoming more confident and secure with it.

Good for you. Go and live it then.

@donemeover, btw no one has said you are old and decrepit at 50yo.

I’ve done two major carrer changes (inlc studying a master twice) between 39yo and 50yo.
I’m still planning a new business etc…

This doesn’t change the fact that finding a job at 50 or 55yo is harder (esp as a woman), that a lot of people develop chronic health issues (maybe not you, but the majority). Etc…. There is a need to acknowledge that with getting old, you do develop some limitations. I think that refusing to acknowledge that is unhealthy tbh.

Today 21:03 donemeover

Also infertility so if one more fucker talks to me about not knowing anything about life and being goady, do one.

I really didn't want to get Ranty but don't comment on me if you know nothing about my life and assume because I'm young it's a bed full of roses.”

Sorry to read that, that’s hard.

@MrsSkylerWhite thank you, this thread has really pissed me off how some posters can be so nasty, really just something else.

They don't know me, or my situation.

Being young doesn't automatically mean you can't comment on things and must have a privileged life because your young.

And I'm supposed to be the ignorant one?

I was one of them and I am sorry. It’s very hard to read between the lines sometimes.

@Silenceisgolden20 I never asked for rude, patronising responses, no. Some of the posts on the thread are rude, and pointless and just wanting to pick a fight.

Those comments are not welcome.

Oh the irony

35??? I’m 37 and still consider myself young 😂. We are all ageing day by day regardless of how young or old we are but I feel too young to say I’ve fully embraced it yet . I hope I do when I’m older .

@donemeover what is your take in the not rude and unhelpful answers that other posters have given you?

I’m thinking the OP was aiming her comments at people at the early stages of ageing.
I can’t even remember being 35 because my life went so radically downhill after 38..
I lost my full term daughter to a placental abruption that nearly killed me, ivf failed, changed jobs in the civil service to much less pay etc but it wore me down, fell pregnant and had a seriously disabled (bit amazing) daughter at 42.
Am still suffering with PTSD from when her consultant assaulted me (sexually but not rape) - I’m now 46.
I barely sleep.
I have nightmares and sweats. Don’t know if any of it’s related to peri menopause or just PTSD. Am restless all the time. Ache etc.
I’m terrified of menopause given how my last few years have been.
I still look very young though I have lots of white hairs.
But I’d give anything to go back to 35 and just not do any of the things that got me here. But I can’t and so life will carry on with the weight of those things.
Age is one thing - ageing with grief/agongy/ physical ailments (I don’t have yet), no job etc… it’s not all liberating.

To PP trying to put the OP down for this thread - way to go on putting down a fellow woman (assumed), making her feel like her experiences are not good enough to form an opinion and silence her - really do we not get enough of that in real life?!
OP I agree in theory - got some creaks going on and my phone doesn’t recognise my face until 10 minutes after I’ve woken up and my wrinkles have fallen into their normal place. But life is more in my control, I am more able to let go of people or things said that do not help me and I care so much less about how I am received. I am who I am and people can take it or leave it.

I understand what you mean OP. In my 30s and 40s I would have said the same.

My 20s were better than my teens, my 30s were better than my 20s, and my 40s were better than my 30s.....

Not so sure about my 50s though. Starting to get indigestion if I eat too late and I'm getting dodgy knees. I think it's downhill from here!

I'm early 50's and while I'm ecstatic with the peace and wisdom that comes with my age I'm not keen on all the other aspects of ageing.... slipping face/crevices/pubes being weird/HRT/weird vulva and vagina shit

I'd MUCH rather the 35 year old body - which is frankly physically perfect

Fifty Eight here and doing well. Aging is a privilege denied to many.

At the risk of sounding, well, childish, you started it, you started a thread about aging at the age of 35

35? Jesus wept 😂😂

One thing I will say is that it can be more difficult to lose weight as you get into your 40s/50s. That’s what I would go back and tell my younger self.
If you’re lucky enough to be fit and healthy when you’re younger then don’t take it for granted, keep exercising and cut back on the booze if necessary.
I have friends from 30s through to 80s. In my own peer group - early 50s - the ones who drink the most are the ones who are showing it, in their face, eyes and skin especially.

So many people say they’re going to do this and that when they retire. When it comes to being fit and mobile you can’t wait until retirement, keep moving now. I realise not everyone can, but the fittest 80 year olds I know have always been active and agile.

@Blue4YOU sorry to hear your experiences