To not invite people round cos the bastards just won't leave?

[Blahdyblahbla]

I used to enjoy having people over and visiting friends and family at home as I've young dc and restaurants etc just don't work.

But lately people just don't bloody leave. I specifically invite early and say "dc need to be getting ready for bed at 7 so it'll be an early finish" but no fucker leaves. There are talks about leaving in 5 minutes etc, but no one ever does.

I end up having to be either be really rude and saying you have to go now, or dealing with overtired / wired dc and company that just drags on.

I'm really aware of not overstaying my welcome when I go places so find it stressful when others don't.

Do I need to give up on people forever and become a recluse?!

Why do people have to leave because your DC are going to bed? 7 is very early to be chucking people out.

I have a friend who would drive over and arrive on the doorstep approx an hour later than agreed with a huge bottle of Lambrini in her arms, in other words she was saying "I'm planning to crash at yours tonight". I would take the wine and say thank you, you will need to leave at ten pm because we need an early night, we have both got to be up early in the morning, that's why I invited you over for an early meal. And then I would kick her out quite bluntly at ten pm. Even if she'd Dru k more than the limit. Her problem. I couldn't abide her assuming she could just c re ash whenever she felt like it without an invite.

Drunk, crash. I am sober btw

Why do people have to leave because your DC are going to bed? 7 is very early to be chucking people out.

Maybe op wants people to leave at that time as she's specifically inviting people early. 7 isn't early to Chuck people out if they've been there since lunchtime for example.

it depends what you say when you invite them.

"come for dinner, the kids need to go to bed at 8" or "come for dinner, you have to leave by 8 because i have to put the kids to bed"

The former doesn't tell them they have to leave, the latter does

My friend has kicked me out on occasion and I don’t find it rude at all so I wouldn’t worry! Sometimes he just gets really tired(or bored of my company who knows) but I never take offence! In fact I’m extra aware and offer to go if it looks like he is getting sleepy! Just to say though, I don’t stay late anyway like some cheeky fuckers!!!

I have the bloody opposite with my inlaws. They invite us round for Sunday 'lunch' (said it'll be ready 3pm ish, served 5pm ish - another bugbear). Anyway, I want to leave and be home by 8pm (also DDs bedtime) to chill and prep school stuff and both of them keep offering more food and drinks, which knobhead DH keeps saying yes to. After I had DS this summer, I told DH that I'll be leaving with or without him in future. So watch this space (or a new thread)

You’ve reminded me of two separate lots of friends that we had. Both would come round as invited for Sunday lunch and would stay for a good eight hours. This was donkeys years ago now but we’re still scarred from it and we never invite people round now.

PILs coming over tomorrow. They never get my cues.
Whatever time I invite them, they leave at 1am - even if they come at 3pm!
I'm knackered by 10 and 11, have previously put PJs on, but doesnt register.
Now I just go to bed....

Worst Xmas ever was when one of DHs friends and his dp just would not leave. I wanted to cry, still do when I think of it.
We had 2 really little kids at the time, 1 who didn't sleep through. We'd been up since stupid o'clock, cooked, hosted, had a couple of drinks...it was gone midnight, we'd be up again in a few hours. No hints taken. Argh. GO HOME!!! I went to bed and left DH to it. Ugh.

I don't invite people round!
Nope. Not ever
Sorted

I just say "Roght, kicking out time"

*Right!

I would think that you putting kids to bed was a clue to leave ?
Tell people before that’s it’s a 4-7 thing and then when they come say sorry to chuck you out at 7 but blah blah blah

An ex friend used to appear, hand you your coat and then open the front door!

Stopped inviting people over for this reason. Had a pair, husband and wife who finished work about 6pm, stopped in at her mums on the way home, who would kick them out 8.30pm for her bubbly bath so they would come to ours till gone 11pm. They split up so we dont have that problem anymore but this was 3 to 4 times a week!!

I would think that you putting kids to bed was a clue to leave?

Same, same as bath time etc but apparently some people don’t think so!

Yanbu. We used to have this difficulty. Then a friend came to stay for a few months. She used to bring the guests' coats out when she thought they needed to leave.

One memorable day family came and stayed for a long time. They started to leave when I and DH fell asleep right there in front of them.

The first time I encountered this was a school mum and a good friend. I said pop round mid morning if you like. She must have put her foot down as her car was already on my drive as I got back from the school run about 8.45, she must have overtaken me!

She sat on a chair and did not stop talking until 3pm when we piled back into cars for school pick up time.

I felt like I had been subjected to some sort of interrogation. I'm not used to spending all day sitting down listening to one person. Hell.

YANBU. I find myself wanting to clear the freezer of meat so invite the adult kids (and the partners and children around) for dinner. They turn up at 5.55, just before dinner is served, and I’m throwing them out at 10pm.

The children are aged 6 months to 8 years. Why would any parent of under 10’s want to stay out after 8pm?

My friends just give them the empty milk bottles and tell them to put them out on the way.

They don’t even have a milkman.

Years ago I had a guest who got increasingly cranky as the night wore on, yawning dramatically, and eventually snapped at me for being a bad hostess because I hadn’t noticed how tired she was and allowed her to go home . Cultural differences.

If they are close enough people to invite, I would just tell them what the plans are before they come or just say when you are done that you are getting ready for bed or to chill. If they offended then that is their problem.

I’m totally you! We’ve not long had a baby and I was so anxious about people overstaying their welcome after my c-section. We really emphasized I needed time to recover etc but our families could meet him for a very short visit. My family came and went in under half an hour. DH’s family however… 🤦🏼‍♀️ They plonked themselves down for 3 hours!! My biggest regret is not just standing up, taking the baby and saying we need to sleep now. I was sat there in physical pain as well as being absolutely knackered and in no frame of mind to have to listen to their drivel for 3 hours. They left eventually and I said to DH that isn’t happening again. They had passed the baby up and down the line of them so many times and by the time they left he screamed constantly for hours. They returned a few days later, stayed for 2 hours then started phoning his sister to see if she wanted to come round, like we were holding some sort of open house afternoon.

The whole thing made me so uncomfortable because I just felt so out of control of what was going on and all I wanted was for them to leave after an hour so I could go to bed. It was as if they hadn’t for a second considered how I felt and just wanted their moneys worth out of their visit. It’s made me completely distance myself from them and I’ve made no effort to send pictures of the baby etc because I just feel like at my most vulnerable they couldn’t have cared less how I was 🙄

Prince Philip turned off the heating when he was determined to get rid of his mother in law from staying at Buck Palace when he married The Queen.

Worked a treat