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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

weird text from lady on facebook marketplace. Now I don't know if I was U?

262 replies

Sneezecakesmama · 28/10/2021 18:34

I couldn't find my umbrella so decided on buying one off FB marketplace.
Found a nice Joules one for £15 and asked to buy it.
At 09.12 am had the conversation via messenger and agreed to buy. She said it would be on the doorstep and put the money through the letterbox. Fine by me.

I asked what time was convenient and she replied no later than 12.15 as she was going out and gave me the address. I said I would be there at 12.
At 11am I found my umbrella (DH had it) so messaged her at 11.12 am to apologise and say I didn't need it after all, but thank you very much.
She replied
Is this a joke I have changed my plans plus taken item off eBay!!!?
I am fuming Angry reported and informed police as you have our address plus our plans!! Very odd

It was literally 2 hours so why take it off eBay? She hadn't changed her plans and why that level of aggression?

Was I really being as unreasonable as she says? Genuinely confused!

OP posts:
Everhopeful1 · 28/10/2021 20:13

I am on Freecycle - & it's doing my nut in. I am giving away loads of decent stuff - people message immediately, then radio silence for days! I now just relist saying 'relisted due to timewaster' . Although one lovely lady keeps arriving with jars of her homemade jam!

Pandaly · 28/10/2021 20:13

She might have really needed the money and had loads of people watching it on ebay.

EasterIssland · 28/10/2021 20:14

I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong. Has nobody changed their minds when purchasing something off a shop? The amount of times someone has told me they’d come (even when giving free things) and they end up not turning up! At least you’ve informed her you’re not interested on it anymore and they can give it to someone else if they want to.

HarrisonStickle · 28/10/2021 20:14

I totally accept it can be annoying, which is why I apologised rather than simply not turning up and wasting her time. I could have done that and been a total arse.

You were a total arse anyway for being a timewaster.

sbhydrogen · 28/10/2021 20:14

"I found my umbrella after all, my DH had it all along" is a pretty decent reason for not buying an umbrella from FB Marketplace.

YANBU. You're not a time waster, as you let her know you weren't coming.

Magicalwoodlands · 28/10/2021 20:14

@TableFlowerss

All this over a £15 umbrella ☂ that’s why I just give stuff to charity. Couldn’t be bothered with the haste’s for such minimal amounts….
Hmm that’s not an insignificant amount to me. And I don’t think I’m poor!
Summerfun54321 · 28/10/2021 20:15

You’re both nuts. Her for her reaction, you for even contemplating buying a 2nd hand umbrella for £15 that required an hour’s driving.

Odile13 · 28/10/2021 20:15

I think if I had been in your shoes I would have just bought the umbrella. I wouldn’t have wanted to mess her about.

Saying that, she was OTT about calling the police.

bananafruitcake · 28/10/2021 20:15

She is overreacting but you should have honoured the fact that you said you would buy it

rjacksmiss · 28/10/2021 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

LaikO · 28/10/2021 20:16

The police part is an overreacting, but you've been unreasonable and I completely understand why she's annoyed. It's a bit unsettling to give someone your address for them to then shortly tell you they no longer want the item, and although I wouldn't divulge when I would be out, I can see why she's concerned.

HadEnough798 · 28/10/2021 20:18

Excessive response from her - Facebook Marketplace is casual/less official and at least you were polite enough to keep her informed.

Would much rather that than some people who literally don't reply and never turn up!

ChesapeakeEmbarrassed · 28/10/2021 20:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stuckhere2021 · 28/10/2021 20:23

@Sneezecakesmama-
It meant an hours driving and my bloody carbon footprint excuse again

Indeed. You would have been prepared to drive for an hour until your own one was found, when you could have probably got one 5 mins down the road . So you seem
To be using your ethics to condone poor behaviour .

Queue drip feed saying OP lives in the middle of nowhere and couldn’t buy a brolly nearer to home.

Sh05 · 28/10/2021 20:24

I think if was on eBay alone then you'd have been unreasonable but how were you to Know that she aLso had it listed on eBay when you were buying it from FB?

TableFlowerss · 28/10/2021 20:31

Hmm that’s not an insignificant amount to me. And I don’t think I’m poor

Phoning the police about a £15 sale is OTT. I’m sure £15 is a lot to some people but the hassle that goes along with it would put me right off. Each to their own though

Fupoffyagrasshole · 28/10/2021 20:32

Lolz that’s nuts

If she doesn’t want people having her address then she should meet in a public place instead

I always meet in a cafe or something as I don’t like my address to be given out

Eatingsoupwithafork · 28/10/2021 20:33

A bit of an overreaction but you were unreasonable and I think people do take liberties more on fb marketplace vs ebay. This is why I use ebay rather than fb even if it is more expensive, a lot of time wasters.

tommyhoundmum · 28/10/2021 20:34

I'd have bought it any way as promised. Hate breaking my word.

cabingirl · 28/10/2021 20:36

@TableFlowerss

*Hmm that’s not an insignificant amount to me. And I don’t think I’m poor*

Phoning the police about a £15 sale is OTT. I’m sure £15 is a lot to some people but the hassle that goes along with it would put me right off. Each to their own though

She's not phoning the police about the loss of a £15 sale.

It's the potential for burglars to know your address plus that you are going to be out of the house at a certain time.

More common when the item for sale is pricey and valuable as the burglar will assume the house has other valuables too.

LynetteScavo · 28/10/2021 20:37

She took it if FB, waited in for you, probably turned down others who asked to buy it through FB and now has to resist it. You also know she'll be out so can burgle her house.

I can see why she's annoyed. Personally I wouldn't have responded to you. I don't waste any more time on time wasters.

TableFlowerss · 28/10/2021 20:41

**She's not phoning the police about the loss of a £15 sale.

It's the potential for burglars to know your address plus that you are going to be out of the house at a certain time.

More common when the item for sale is pricey and valuable as the burglar will assume the house has other valuables too**

@cabingirl

But even if OP bought it as arranged, she’d still know that the woman was out? buying it the item doesn’t make the OP forget what she’s been told….

HikingforScenery · 28/10/2021 20:43

Yabu for pulling out of the same at such short notice

WalkingOnTheCracks · 28/10/2021 20:46

She might have been a bit forthright, but I don't blame her at all for being pissed off. I was pissed off on her behalf just reading about it.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 28/10/2021 20:46

YABU - you should have let your DH keep your umbrella and then brought her one anyway so that you both have one.