Changed nappy on restaurant table

[Badlytornfrube]

I went to an independent pizza place for lunch with a friend. Her 4 month old did a poo. The restaurant only had one tiny toilet with no changing space. My friend used the empty table next to us to change her baby. I was mortified and other customers watched us, I think one was filming us surreptitiously. Am I wrong not to want to go to lunch with her again. Fwiw I have 3 small children and I would have changed them outside.

YABU: she had nowhere else to change the baby
YANBU: that was a disgusting thing to do

[Capferret]

Years ago when dh worked at Tottenham DHSS some salubrious clients would change their babies and throw the nappies onto the staff cars below.

[10yearwarranty]

I would have gone mad - told her to not even think of it as soon as she looked towards the table. If she'd carried on I honestly think I've have got up and left her to it. Disgusting. Are you going to say anything to her after the event?

[mayblossominapril]

I would never change a baby on a table in a restaurant but equally would never change one on a toilet floor.
She should have just nipped outside and changed the baby in the pram

[NewlyGranny]

Both the empty table and the toilet floor are wildly inappropriate! Men pee on unisex toilet floors; people are eating at nearby tables.

I would have asked the staff first to see what their policy is. Failing any more suitable space, I would change a 4 month old baby on a mat or folded muslin on my lap while I sat on the toilet lid. Not ideal, but we are all carrying sanitiser these days.

A bigger, wrigglier baby would be harder! Choose a restaurant with proper changing facilities next time, and write an online review challenging this place for being baby unfriendly.

[KevinTheKoala]

Generally if someone is filming something it's because they want to share it! Regardless of whether they are sharing it online to their own family and friends nobody knows who is going to end up with that footage and it is still footage of a baby's genitals. So yes the fact that anyone thought it was OK to film is extremley disturbing and they should have been challenged.

However, changing a baby on the table is disgusting and never acceptable, I have found myself in similar situations a couple of times and as I don't drive my options are usually to change the baby on the floor of the toilet - I have used my coat as a protection for the baby when I didn't have a changing mat - or in the pram with a muslin cloth acting as a privacy shield for the baby. Neither of those are ideal but they are better than changing a baby on the table. I wouldn't change a baby outside if it's very cold though.

[SantasLittleHoHoHo]

Absolutely disgusting that she did that in a place people eat / serve food!!

[RedMarauder]

Sorry that is just grim.

I've changed my DD on the floor in a toilet entrance before. I got use to taking disposal changing mats around with me so I could do so.

Other parents I know, especially dads, have used the floor also in and around toilets.

[RacketeerRalph]

I'm quite slovenly about where I change a nappy (e.g. Sat on a park bench on my knee in a park with no loos) but a table? That's awful.

But just as an FYI - IKEA are happy for you to change nappies on their display nappy changing tables and feed ba

[thetaleunfolds]

I went to a restaurant for a meal earlier this week with my newborn twins. Asked the manager where the toilets were and she pointed but said there wasn’t anywhere to change them in there (and there wasn’t besides the floor) so she told me to just change them on the table 🤢

I couldn’t and would never do that. It’s disgusting. I took them out to the car instead which was luckily in their car park. Not sure what I’d have done if that wasn’t an option though

[HelloBambinos]

I'm trying to figure out who voted that you were being unreasonable.. Maybe it's that they think you were wrong for not speaking up? Even though that wasn't actually your question... Other than that I can't see how anyone would find changing a baby on a dining table acceptable. Vile behaviour on your friends part. I would of had to say something in that situation personally. It's never acceptable to do that.

[Greenpolkadot]

Disgusting dirty mare

[ColinTheKoala]

@Justilou1

Yes that’s gross. Utterly vile. Meanwhile, I would also be asking why they don’t have anywhere to change a baby. Why the hell isn’t it compulsory in this day and age?

I guess some cafes are too small. But there should be public loos with a changing area. But councils don't want to pay for them despite the fact that they are subject to the public sector equality duty and not providing toilets and changing areas clearly has an unduly detrimental effect on women and disabled people.

A table is disgusting. Of course you go outside if it's an either/or.

[TasteTheMeatNotTheHeat]

I'm more concerned about the fact that someone was filming her changing her baby. That's much more disgusting to me than her changing a baby on the table.

[Blurryeyedbeast]

I'd have asked the staff where best to change if there wasn't a practically discrete corner available.

[muddyford]

I would hope the film ends up with the environmental health department. It's not illegal to film children in public spaces and if the OP's friend chooses to do something private in public, she shouldn't be surprised when some appalled person films it.

[TirednWorried]

Who are the mingers among us who voted its ok?

[KevinTheKoala]

. It's not illegal to film children in public spaces and if the OP's friend chooses to do something private in public, she shouldn't be surprised when some appalled person films it

Actually making, possessing and distributing imagery of anyone under the age of 18 which is indecent (which imagery of a babies genitals would be) is illegal.

[TheNinny]

For situations like this I keep a fold away changing mat in the nappy/baby bag that goes everywhere DD goes. I would’ve used toilet floor or hallway floor even corner of restaurant floor over a table.

[Chocaholic9]

@KevinTheKoala

. It's not illegal to film children in public spaces and if the OP's friend chooses to do something private in public, she shouldn't be surprised when some appalled person films it

Actually making, possessing and distributing imagery of anyone under the age of 18 which is indecent (which imagery of a babies genitals would be) is illegal.

Well, it's the mother's fault for doing it in a public place.

[Chocaholic9]

This is why you shouldn't change your baby on a restaurant table, apart from the fact it is unsanitary and grosses everyone else out.

[Badlytornfrube]

@HaveringWavering it is a really small place. Everyone could see including the staff.

[HaveringWavering]

And did they go to clean the table as soon as she had finished?

[blanketg]

I would never change a baby on a table in a restaurant but equally would never change one on a toilet floor.

Car is easy option but when I've not had a car I have used the pram.

[Moonflower12]

@Jossbow

I came on to say the same thing. I actually used to find it easier to change my babies/ toddlers on my lap. It's easier to stop wriggling etc.

[KevinTheKoala]

But the baby had no say in it. Just because the mother did something disgusting doesn't give anyone else the right to also do something wrong to a defenceless baby...