Where does everyone stand?

[pumkinbump]

Posting here for traffic.

Married 7 years.

1 child age 6yrs.

Her - forever unemployed by choice. Cheated throughout marriage. DNA test needed on baby as didn't know who the father was. Left 8 months ago with be with someone else which was likely going on before the split. On benefits. Child is autistic so gets a mobility car which she has.

Him - full time worker. Paid for deposit on house. Paid every bill and mortgage payment for the duration of the relationship. Has their son 4/5 nights out of 7 as she doesn't want to. Pays her £100 a month despite this, plus extra for shoes, clothes etc.

He is terrified that she's going to claim half of the house in divorce.

Does anyone have any advice where he would stand on this?

Thanks in advance.

Whats it got to do with you

On a few occasions she has refused to have the child when the father has plans last minute after sating she would, which isn't very often at all as he never goes out

On a day when she would normally have him or when the dad would normally have him?

@Getyourarseofffthequattro
Do you have anything other to offer than to include me in your attacks on single mothers, than I'm "projecting"?
Just because she has a new partner does not impact on her child. How is it relevant to her parenting, or to this post? Next you'll be suggesting she should be tested in case she is a witch.

[quote whatisthisinhere]@Getyourarseofffthequattro
Do you have anything other to offer than to include me in your attacks on single mothers, than I'm "projecting"?
Just because she has a new partner does not impact on her child. How is it relevant to her parenting, or to this post? Next you'll be suggesting she should be tested in case she is a witch. [/quote]
Can you explain how I have attacked single mothers?

It clearly has impacted her child because she's gone from being primary carer to not being primary carer. How does that not affect her child? Do you not think they've noticed the change?

You clearly are projecting because you think I'm attacking single mothers which I am absolutely not and b have used the word witch, I havent, nor have I insinuated she is anything of the sort.

@Clocktopus

Again, not taking into account the times he has the child 5 nights out of 7.

I thought he had him four nights and currently one day out of the seven day half term? And 88 and 58 works out as six days of the week so what about the other day? Its more confusing now.

He does have him 4 nights out of 7, but about twice a month she will get the father to have him an additional night. So 5 out of 7.

No he isn't having him one day out of 7 for half term he's still having him the same amount of nights during half term week. But took a day off to have him in the day also mid week.

Also, still waiting for an answer to my question. Who does appointments and meeting relating to the child's needs?

Because its about a woman rather than a man?

Ah, is that the angle you were going for?

No, it's because she sounds like the typical cartoon villain of a fekk-less woman we are supposed to believe exist all over the place, the total chav.

I'm not sure how you fell for it.

@Getyourarseofffthequattro
Are you saying that the only reason he shares parenting for his child is because she has a new boyfriend? So otherwise, he wouldn't do any?

@BoredZelda

Because its about a woman rather than a man?

Ah, is that the angle you were going for?

No, it's because she sounds like the typical cartoon villain of a fekk-less woman we are supposed to believe exist all over the place, the total chav.

I'm not sure how you fell for it.

Do you honestly believe people like this dont exist?

[quote whatisthisinhere]@Getyourarseofffthequattro
Are you saying that the only reason he shares parenting for his child is because she has a new boyfriend? So otherwise, he wouldn't do any? [/quote]
No, I'm saying the reason she is no longer primary carer is because of the new boyfriend.

No, I'm saying the reason she is no longer primary carer is because of the new boyfriend.
So not because Daddy wants to equally parent his child?

I don't know @Getyourarseofffthequattro

The info we have so far suggests mum is still caring for son 47% of the day time. It sounds like she did a lot more care before she left. Maybe she is not wanting to do more than 50% now in order to help the dad realise just how much work caring for children is - something MN often advise if there is a dad who is minimising the task!

Again
Who deals with all the appointments and the meetings?

@Clocktopus

And how many nights does your ex have the children per week?

I'm not sure what you mean or what you're getting at? Or how it's relevant?

I was responding to a poster about the expectation of getting a job when disabled children are in FT school.

Because you're saying how exhausting it is, which I don't doubt at all. And I assume your post is in defence of the mother in this situation. How exhausted she must be and how shit the dad is seems to be the general consensus. But unlike her, it doesn't sound like you get the support or break from it that she does.

@whatisthisinhere

No, I'm saying the reason she is no longer primary carer is because of the new boyfriend. So not because Daddy wants to equally parent his child?

Well considering she chose the contact arrangements..... It was her choice.

Perhaps he is happy with the arrangements and the child is, in which case, excellent. However pretending her decision won't have affected the child is naive at best.

@whatisthisinhere

Actually who does the appointments, meetings, etc.?

They both do them together.

Because you're saying how exhausting it is, which I don't doubt at all. And I assume your post is in defence of the mother in this situation. How exhausted she must be and how shit the dad is seems to be the general consensus. But unlike her, it doesn't sound like you get the support or break from it that she does

Actually I do get support. I live with DH (their dad) and he pulls an equal share because I didn't marry a total fuck-knuckle however he works FT which means when he's working FT at the office, I'm working FT with the DC.

@pumkinbump
Who deals with all the appointments and meetings?
Third time I'm asking this question

[quote whatisthisinhere]@pumkinbump
Who deals with all the appointments and meetings?
Third time I'm asking this question [/quote]
She's answered!

Ok
So he takes time off work for these meetings, which often take hours out of the day?
Can I ask what job he has?
Because I can't work and attend

@whatisthisinhere

Ok So he takes time off work for these meetings, which often take hours out of the day? Can I ask what job he has? Because I can't work and attend

Why are you picking holes? Every job I've ever had it would have been acceptable to leave for a couple of hours, whether that was special leave, booked as annual leave, time off in lieu or working later to make the hours up.

If you think op is a troll, report her.

@Getyourarseofffthequattro
It really bothers you that she has a boyfriend for some reason.
Why?
And don't give me the drivel about it affecting her parenting.

@Getyourarseofffthequattro
There so many holes though
All us parents of children with Sen know the realities of parenting in our circumstances

@Whatiswrongwithmyknee

On a few occasions she has refused to have the child when the father has plans last minute after sating she would, which isn't very often at all as he never goes out

On a day when she would normally have him or when the dad would normally have him?

On the very rare occasion that he would ask her to have him one Saturday night for instance for a friend's birthday. She would wait until the time come then say she wasn't going to have him.

[quote whatisthisinhere]@Getyourarseofffthequattro
It really bothers you that she has a boyfriend for some reason.
Why?
And don't give me the drivel about it affecting her parenting. [/quote]
It doesn't at all, you can 100% have a boyfriend and be a good parent. It's how she's gone about it that was wrong.

What's your issue with this? Because you seem to be accusing me of all sorts with absolutely no evidence to support it?