To have been eating lunch in my car?

[DogHair]

Name change as potentially outing. I started a new job in July, it’s health profession but mostly office based. I find the place quite overwhelming and I don’t feel like i fit in. Antics include running around the office with no top on, screaming at top volume. Throwing things around, calling each other horrible nicknames, dragging each other around on the floor, locking each other in cupboards, dead arm fights etc. On one occasion it was someone’s birthday and they had done a buffet. A food fight broke out and although I didn’t get involved I did end up with my uniform covered in chocolate cake. I had specifically asked them not to throw anything at me as I had afternoon home visits. I was covered in it and had to drive home and get changed in order to go out to visits again.
Anyway a month or so of this and I just can’t cope with it. I’ve started driving to the quayside and eating lunch in my car. Today I was called into managers office asked why I disappear at lunch time and was I having problems with anyone. I said no and made out that the office lights give me migraine. I was asked to make more effort to intergrate into the team which means coming to office at lunch times. It’s making me so anxious I’m seriously considering going off on sick. Husband thinks I’m being precious but I can’t face it. I suffer with social anxiety anyway and this is making it so much worse.

Please can I have your job it sounds fantastic!!! They honestly sound just like my kind of people! 🤩🥸🎉🎊🥂🍹🍸

They muck around like animals in the zoo whenever they like but have meetings at lunchtimes ~ makes no sense.

What sort of job is this? I've worked in healthcare my entire adult life and have never come across this kind of behaviour. You must whistleblow before you leave, I bet you're not the only person who feels like you do.

The tit flashing senior worker might be good at her job but she's a fucking liability if she gets half naked at work.

Blow that whistle!

I KNEW there'd be a bullying ringleader at the heart of this!

Unfortunately there's rather a lot of them in the nhs/public sector

For some crazy reason I'm not sure what but it's damn near impossible to simply get rid of poor staff in the nhs/public sector

Anything from simply slow/ineffective to appalling behaviour like this and the culprits are so often merely moved sideways or even promoted out! Which is utterly ludicrous!!

There was a thread a wee while back about a council worker who'd been doing his job badly for TWENTY YEARS and merely shuffled around about the council depts as they couldn't get rid of him!

I'm all for employee rights BUT I'm also for disciplinary process and sacking where it's necessary.

I've only been let go once myself (hated the job, temp job I wasn't kept on) but I've been the one doing the sacking at times, it's not easy, nobody likes doing it but sometimes it's necessary. On all 3 occasions the employees were not only bad at their jobs they were bullies, lazy and obnoxious similar to this person.

When I inhabited managerial roles I saw it as my responsibility to ensure the work was done to a reasonably high standard AND that the MAJORITY of employees felt happy, safe and confident in their workplace - not least as this results in a more productive workforce and I've found you then have employees that are happy to go the extra mile when needed, step up to do overtime etc

It's a false economy and bad business sense to my mind to do ANYTHING else!

As I say not an easy thing firing someone and you either get a sob story or aggression in response.

But they had all had the required verbal and written warnings - for the same behaviour repeatedly which they made zero effort to rectify.

Employees like this need booted!!

I worked on a ward where a nursing assistant would only help patients she felt personally deserved it like nice little old ladies. Anyone else she would openly mock and be abusive and no one ever said a thing. She’d whip people up into joining her disgusting comments... her behaviour out of work was vile.

One day we had someone who had been seriously assaulted as a child and she made fun of it and others joined in. When I refused I was called an uptight snob. Patients bed was next to the nurses station where I was doing my work and she was devastated and kept trying to run away. I reported and got my first ‘need to be a team player’ lecture. Turned out she was sleeping with the consultant so could do what she liked. Mind he behaved no better.

You need to get a new job mate - this lot sound horrible.

@Graphista completely agree, but they’re never let go. Just before I left the nhs the head of my project in Wales was promoted. The man was an idiot and a total liability. My manager actually sat me down and said ‘you’re not going to like this..’ and I didn’t. He even got a plaque for doing so well in his job

Old boys network? Old fools network more like.

Just get rid and get fresh blood in to help, not some berk whose entire cv is one disaster after another.

And do not get me started on this “it’s just the nhs, not like real business” rubbish.

Seriously I know of a man who has slammed multiple nhs trusts in to bankruptcy, repeatedly in the news for doing so, so not like it’s not public knowledge. Full of “pride” he just gets given another one!!

Well! This is without doubt one of the most shocking and frankly, worrying (considering it's in healthcare) threads I have ever read anywhere! I am absolutely appalled.

DogHair yes, it was Yorkshire! Huddersfield? How weird would that be if the same place. She lasted a week then left as she felt it was just too unprofessional but she seemed to be the only one who thought that.

The NHS is notorious for redeploying people who are shit at their job, instead of going down the disciplinary route and terminating their contract.

The only person I have known to actually be sacked was a man who was taking patient's prescribed meds for his own use and to sell - but it was a long drawn out process and he had an NHS funded stay in rehab before he was eventually dismissed. He was also relieved of his registration by the NMC.

A clinical member of staff was fired where I am, it took years and in the end was court mandated. He had been committing disability benefit fraud for years. The staff he worked with defended him, even after convicted setting up a campaign for him to be reinstated!! He lost his right to practice only because the court convicted him and referred to professional body!

Staff said they still wanted him working with them!! Clients categorically did not.

However, despite being “banned for life from working with vulnerable people in any capacity” he’s continued to work as a “nurse” and benefit specialist for other organisations as his dbs was overridden.

would only help patients she felt personally deserved it like nice little old ladies.

One of the employees I fired was like this, every shift she was on she'd "negotiate" with one of the softer employees in order to get the "easy" patients/residents. So eg if she was on the "bedtime" shift of 1800-2200 she'd be done by 2000! And she would sit on her arse and do sod all the rest of the shift while the others picked up her slack, initially she'd try "but I had the same no of residents to do as everyone else" but of course the needs vary meaning the time taken to do the tasks needed varied.

One of the things I did to try and make it more fair was I started assigning residents so that EVERYONE had some "easy/quick" ones and some that required more care. She cut corners some of which led to things like sores starting to develop - totally unacceptable! That was the point at which she was gone!

Old boys network? Old fools network more like.

Yep!

@Becca19962014 I know EXACTLY what you mean. This kinda thing is partly why I left nhs

I must admit as a disabled/sick person myself and all that's going on in benefits side I often think the "medically qualified" assessors are likely to be those that were drummed out or jumped before they were pushed!!

Blimey. Hope it's not NHS.

It's up to you where you eat lunch work legally give you 30 mins unpaid (NHS) you're not on their time so your managers request doesn't hold much weight.

Seriously think about writing a letter about past antics to your manager and keep a diary of any present or ongoing antics. One offs are easily explained patterns of ongoing behavior are not. If you won't give management anything to go on nothing will change. Must be in writing or the manager can deny you said anything.

You have a right to feel safe at work and the behavior you describe from others is far from 'normal' office relationships. Are the others all quite young and immature?

So there are women running round topless?! What on earth?!

Yikes! They don’t own your life. You should be able to go and eat your lunch wherever you want.

Is this a home care agency or something?

Good god. The comment about the chimp enclosure was spot on. I’d be having lunch in my car too. This is so far beyond the pale that I really do think you need to make it clear that it’s affecting your job - eg having to go and change out of clothes. There just seems to be nobody outlining where the line is being crossed between fun and infantile, intimidating behaviour.

Secretly film it.
Open new email account. Send it to HR.
Also her managers.

This sounds dreadful. Get a new job!

That sounds shit, OP. You work with idiots. I get pissed off if the men at work start throwing their ‘mini’ rugby ball around the office 😤 women would never do shit like that 🤷🏻‍♀️

@DarlingFell

That sounds shit, OP. You work with idiots. I get pissed off if the men at work start throwing their ‘mini’ rugby ball around the office 😤 women would never do shit like that 🤷🏻‍♀️

Woman are doing shit like that! There are idiots in both sexes.

you dont have to work there, afaik there are plenty of care in the community jobs on offer
move on op

Leave and if you can't tell them why now do so when you go.

It's going to end on social media sooner or later then they'll all be out of a job and there will be hell for everyone. I'd point that out with accompanying video as high up the organization as you can.

This sounds like a very bad script of The Office. I can imagine David Brent running your department. Op, it's madness & definitely not the norm. Look for another job. Crazy topless lady is clearly not going to be moved because the hierarchy think she's indispensable, so you either join in the circus or save your sanity & leave.