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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have been eating lunch in my car?

203 replies

DogHair · 27/10/2021 22:38

Name change as potentially outing. I started a new job in July, it’s health profession but mostly office based. I find the place quite overwhelming and I don’t feel like i fit in. Antics include running around the office with no top on, screaming at top volume. Throwing things around, calling each other horrible nicknames, dragging each other around on the floor, locking each other in cupboards, dead arm fights etc. On one occasion it was someone’s birthday and they had done a buffet. A food fight broke out and although I didn’t get involved I did end up with my uniform covered in chocolate cake. I had specifically asked them not to throw anything at me as I had afternoon home visits. I was covered in it and had to drive home and get changed in order to go out to visits again.
Anyway a month or so of this and I just can’t cope with it. I’ve started driving to the quayside and eating lunch in my car. Today I was called into managers office asked why I disappear at lunch time and was I having problems with anyone. I said no and made out that the office lights give me migraine. I was asked to make more effort to intergrate into the team which means coming to office at lunch times. It’s making me so anxious I’m seriously considering going off on sick. Husband thinks I’m being precious but I can’t face it. I suffer with social anxiety anyway and this is making it so much worse.

OP posts:
GreenLunchBox · 27/10/2021 22:56

This is mental Grin

MissMogwai · 27/10/2021 22:58

That sounds horrendous, dust your CV off and get out. To be honest though, the food fight and screaming would have me going off sick. Fuck that!

I've worked with some dickheads over the years but they pale in comparison.

Also, your lunch break is likely unpaid so you can eat where you like!

TheKeatingFive · 27/10/2021 22:58

Fucking hell OP, this is not normal

DogHair · 27/10/2021 23:00

People asking why I didn’t tell the truth - the manager knows it goes on already and plus … would you want to make yourself a potential target in this environment? I’d rather just leave

OP posts:
midlifecrash · 27/10/2021 23:00

wtaf who are these people? Is there no hr? Is your break in your contract? Maybe it would be more in keeping to tell them to fuck off and mind their own business where you eat lunch but I would be making a complaint to hr and senior management about being supposed to fit in with this behaviour. Then you have a record if they try and come back at you for not liking food fights.

Duchess379 · 27/10/2021 23:00

Good god, what have I just read? This all sounds like a clip from St Trinian's!! Tell your boss the reason you go out at lunch - this is not normal practice at all. I've worked in the public sector and yes, you become a family with your team but running around topless & food fights - utter madness 👀😳

RachelGreep87 · 27/10/2021 23:02

Are you hiring? Wink

DogHair · 27/10/2021 23:03

@RachelGreep87

Are you hiring? Wink
My job will be up for grabs soon hopefully 😂
OP posts:
clockledd · 27/10/2021 23:03

Do you work in a nursery? I can see toddlers doing all of those things.

Essen · 27/10/2021 23:04

I can’t believe your husband thinks you are being precious. I would look for another job.

benzo · 27/10/2021 23:05

I'm so shocked, it sounds bloody nuts. Op please don't try to integrate. Please find a new job before they break you. What the actual f though seriously.

Dreambigger · 27/10/2021 23:05

Leave

DogHair · 27/10/2021 23:06

@Essen

I can’t believe your husband thinks you are being precious. I would look for another job.
Well he thinks this is all normal behaviour as they act similar in his job (but he works with blokes so running around topless isn’t exactly the same, if they even do that there). I know they force each other into cupboards and whack each other in the crotch with tape measures etc
OP posts:
OverByYer · 27/10/2021 23:07

You’re taking the piss now OP? You both work in a circus?

TheDaydreamBelievers · 27/10/2021 23:08

This is all so so hideously unprofessional. I'm so sorry you're in this situation. It's not normal for a workplace. Please tell me its not NHS?!

Larryyourwaiter · 27/10/2021 23:08

If he asks what you are doing during lunch as if he is paying you then all of a sudden.
Otherwise none of their business.

DogHair · 27/10/2021 23:09

@OverByYer

You’re taking the piss now OP? You both work in a circus?
I wish I was taking the piss. He works in engineering.
OP posts:
DogHair · 27/10/2021 23:12

Oh then there was the gag where someone brought in a few wet sprats and hid them in random mugs in the cupboard. The smell after a few days was horrendous but nobody would own up to it - in the end the manager said she was getting the whole place deep cleaned and we’d have to temporarily work from a nursing home so the culprit got rid of them but it actually made me ill. I couldn’t eat or drink at work for nearly 2 weeks.

OP posts:
Osrie · 27/10/2021 23:13

Am absolutely gob smacked! Nightmare doesn’t cover it. I wish you could tell us where you (and also where DH work) as I would definitely like to avoid at all costs such an environment. I’d rather be made to sit with wild animals!

converseandjeans · 27/10/2021 23:14

I worked in engineering at start of career & I was the only female. They were really silly.

I went into teaching after 5 or so years and it was completely different.

What you're describing is ridiculous behaviour. I think you should contact person above your manager. You can do as you wish on lunch break. The other stuff sounds really silly. There would not be time for that nonsense in teaching. Just stick to what you feel comfortable with.

NigelSlatersXmasTaters · 27/10/2021 23:15

The best thing you could do is just get another job. They won't change.

lottiegarbanzo · 27/10/2021 23:15

Well, if this is real, tell the truth - you don't like the crazy behaviour, so you eat lunch in your car. Fact.

lottiegarbanzo · 27/10/2021 23:16

But I'd be tempted to film this and show it to the boss's boss.

DogHair · 27/10/2021 23:20

DH has just said that at his place they used to step each other up in plastic roll and turn force them into a cupboard but apparently they can’t get away with the plastic now 😳 the thought of that gives me deep anxiety

OP posts:
Firesidefox · 27/10/2021 23:21

I don't understand why you didn't tell the manager the truth and say you can't stand it

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