Getting married 3 days after a birthday

[Skinnymuffins]

So we've today booked our wedding for a date in the UK - summer 2023.

We checked that nobody had any birthdays on that day. The best man's daughters birthday is 2 days after and one of the bridesmaids birthday is 3 days before.

So we thought we were in the clear.

Best man was fine, but the bridesmaid has had a bit of a moan for having the wedding in her "birthday week".

She said (first time I've heard of it) that she had planned to go away for her birthday as it's a big birthday.

She then moaned and said "what is it about birthdays in that month" (a very popular summer month!) and I said I think it's a case of people wanting the best chance for sun on their wedding.

I'd never have booked a wedding on anyone's birthday but I thought 3 days clear was fine? AIBU to think that was ok?

Let her moan, she’s bonkers.

She is being daft. She can presumably go away for her birthday anyway!

YADNBU. They need to get over themselves. You have done nothing wrong.

Dear goodness- ignore her. If she doesn’t want to be a bridesmaid that’s fine.
Do you want someone so entitled in your life?

It’s fine. And you need to tell her if it’s a problem she’s welcome to go away instead of coming. Don’t have this conversation again.

A birthday week?! Even the Queen only gets 2 days.

She doesn’t have to go away exactly that week does she, why doesn’t she go before her birthday and get back just before the wedding? A birthday is a day. Not a week

God there are so many actually important things to worry about when planning a wedding.

I wouldn’t give a toss if it was on someone’s actually birthday. If you’ve got more than 50 people going, the likelihood is it will be someone’s birthday that week.

Don’t give it another thought.

If it was a big birthday she maybe was mentally planning out trips in her head but you still haven’t done anything wrong.

Don’t overthink it as she maybe is just voicing out loud that she’ll have to rethink.

Presumably she is a close friend if she is a bridesmaid so it might be nice for you to suggest earlier dates that you could go away with her for a birthday weekend

If she really doesn’t like it she of course can choose not to be your bridesmaid

She sounds bonkers.

If it’s a big birthday, I’d probably have checked with her to see if she was going away or something

@DoNotGetADog

God there are so many actually important things to worry about when planning a wedding.

I wouldn’t give a toss if it was on someone’s actually birthday. If you’ve got more than 50 people going, the likelihood is it will be someone’s birthday that week.

Don’t give it another thought.

To be pedantic, even if you've only got 27 people, the odds are that it's someone's birthday that week 😀

3 days is fine.

"Birthday Week" FFS she is not the Queen.

We got married 3 days after my husband’s birthday. I’ve been to lord than one wedding in my own birthday, which often falls in a bank holiday. She’s making a fuss.

Totally entitled twat.

Wedding trumps a birthday... even a big one. She's a big girl. Either just go away another week in lieu of the birthday or don't go to the wedding.

I got married on my own birthday!! Twice as many presents and doubly hard for dh to forget!!

Your moany guest sounds a brat!!

I have a trip planned for the week of my 30th birthday but with almost 2 years notice I would simply plan the trip for before or after the wedding. You're not being unreasonable.

If someone’s has agreed to be your BM and you are looking set date the very least you do is say I’m planning holiday XXX bit late after the event for them assume you can read minds.

She’s being absurd. I’d go to a wedding on my actual birthday without batting an eyelid about it. If she was planning to go away that’s a separate issue and would be an issue for her to decide on whether the trip was for a birthday or not.

To be pedantic, even if you've only got 27 people, the odds are that it's someone's birthday that week 😀

That’s ok - I am very pedantic myself! I just went with 50 as it’s a number you might have at a wedding and roughly matches the number of weeks to demonstrate the point easily, but yes, it’s highly likely with far fewer guests!

I always love it when it's a guests birthday at a wedding.

Tends to be brought up during the speeches in my experience and a gift given.

So I wouldn't even have particularly been that fussed if it was the same day.

Birthdays really don't matter once you're over 10. And even below. I wouldn't care if it was my DC birthday at a family wedding. Birthday parties are much easier to move.

Weddings and funerals trump other celebrations. 100%.

Bridesmaid is being ridiculous.

I may be pedantic, but I can’t do bold apparently

If she's being such a pain in the arse already, I'd be dumping her as a bridesmaid and go ahead with the date you want. I've never heard of anyone considering someone's birthday when choosing their wedding date. I imagine this one will be a nightmare when you are trying to organise fittings, hen night, any other appointments relating to the wedding, so you are better off letting her go now.

What a nutter.

I didnt even check birthdays for my wedding. As it turned out 3 guests had birthdays the same day! All attended. No one commented except conversationally that it was their birthday. My flower girl said it was the best birthday ever. She was turning 6. Maybe your bridesmaid could learn from her!

Perfect opportunity to absolve her of her bridesmaid role. She can celebrate her birthday the other weekend, she would if she was reasonable!