DP ate my food😡

[heebiejeebies45]

I need to hear people's opinions as I really don't know if my hormones are taking over or not!

Hopefully this isn't a long one but want to add extra info so I don't drip feed.
I had my first baby in May and both baby and I were in hospital for 7 days due to a bad labour (ended up having 3 surgeries, lost 2L of blood, baby got really ill etc.) Over the course of 4/5 weeks I was in and out of the hospital weekly due to all of these issues once discharged. When DP would stay overnight in the hospital with me, he would bring me this chicken and rice box to eat for lunch which was absolutely amazing. I later found out it was a Filipino food stall which served street food in DPs area and there wasn't one near me.

Fast forward to now, I'm currently 14 weeks pregnant with our second baby and the hospital I'm having the baby in is very close to the food place DP would get this rice box from. Whenever I have a hospital appointment (which isn't often) I go to the food stall and buy both of our orders.

Today DP wanted something different and asked for a burrito. When I got home we saw it wasn't actually a burrito and his order was done incorrectly. Even though it wasn't what he ordered, he tried it and liked it so ate all of it. I asked if he wanted some of mine (we usually get the same rice box) and he said yeah so I poured a bit out of my box and put it in his. He then finished his food and came over bothering me for some more of mine. I was jokingly saying, 'go away you've had your own' but let him take a mouthful.

I always get a large and always save half for dinner as I can never finish it all at one time. I put the box down on the table and never thought anything of it. Fast forward a couple of hours and I start getting hungry again so I go to the table to get my rice box but it isn't there. I go into the kitchen and see it on the side, picked it up and it was as light as a feather! Opened it up and there was honestly no more than 2 mouthfuls left in the box.
I had left nearly half! I go over to DP and say 'where the hell is my food, why did you have some, I never said you can have some' etc. He starts saying 'yes you did' then eventually said sorry because he knows he ate it without asking me. I had to go to the front door for fresh air because I was genuinely upset.

I know this is going to sound silly but I really do love that food. I rarely have it as it isn't close to where I live and DP knows I was saving that for dinner. He has form for this too as last time I was pregnant, I put down a container of chow mein near the side of the bed to get a drink, when I looked over, DP had finished all of my chow mein!

I told him to go home (he was going home today anyway but told him to go earlier) I was so pissed off. All a pregnant girl wanted to do was sit down at eat her food for dinner, is that so much to ask?!
Did I overreact or is he just a food thief?

@Mamathebest

MN is a very weird place. OP did not ask for any advice about her living arrangements or has anything negative to say about it. In fact she seems happy. Why all the bitterness and judgement I don’t know?? Such bitchy comments and leaping to some crazy answers. Why does living full time together suddenly make a relationship better or ideal? It’s almost like people can’t understand what works for you may not work for another couple.

This site is getting crazier and angrier everyday.

Thank you, you'd think I made a thread about how unhappy I am that DP doesn't live with us and so on. I'm super happy with our set up and might even be less happier once we do live together and I have no free days to myself anymore😂 Honestly I didn't know couples weren't allowed to do things that worked for them instead of following what other people would do

@ikeepseeingit

So many grumpy judgemental people on this thread giving unsolicited and completely redundant 'advice' 😂 You do you OP! You sound happy, I'm not sure some people here understand what that means.

On the note of your partner eating all your food, UGH. He definitely owes you a trip to the rice place or a full fridge of your cravings!! Put in place a boundary that is enforced with immediate effect. Something like, if he eats your food without asking, he goes out to buy you it again at the earliest possible chance, meaning right then and there if the rice place is open. I imagine it will not happen often after that! 🤣

Thank you I will definitely continue doing me! Hahahaha so true he'll definitely think twice about eating my food then the bloody bastard

So the fact that DP works and provides for his family, keeps a roof over our head, puts food on the table AND sees his child way more than said person who works away, that's different because he doesn't actually live with us?

Yes, because he has committed to his family and only has to leave them for work, not because he feels like having a couple of days off every week.

Why would he be paying to keep a roof over your head and not living there? He pays all your rent and bills and buys the food but still lives at his mothers house? This gets weirder and weirder.

And surely the issue was that he doesn’t buy food, he just keeps stealing yours.

YANBU! I'm funny about sharing food as I plan my treats throughout the week. I would have been fuming at this! DH mostly has the hang of it now but some things he still does.. such as when I eat my posh chocolate he insists on having some and always follows up with 'it's alright but I much prefer the cheap stuff like Cadbury's'.

Or eating fast when we share takeaways so I'm still hungry when it's all gone!

I really enjoy my own space and I love DP but in small doses😂 one time we spent a week together and it just felt never ending. I love knowing I have a couple/few days to myself at the end of the week

I hate to say it OP but it doesn’t sound like he’s the one for you. Find someone who won’t steal your food and you WANT to spend a whole week with.

@heebiejeebies45 a parent working away isn't necessarily great for the child, but it's better than a parent not being there because they just don't want to be:

Are you really living in a home fully funded by him? I'm guessing that's why you don't call out his shitty behaviour like lying to you about what you have/haven't said.

Somehow I don't think you're the one deciding on the living arrangements here

You have a great relationship but you can only take him in small doses, and are on here complaining about him. Right.

Can you imagine if this thread involved a man complaining that his wife ate his food. He would be called controlling and mean.Particularly, if he pays for everything and is not allowed to live with you and he is sent home if hé misbehaves. It reminds me of Ross and his sandwich in Friends and look at how that ended.
I think your attitude to your partner is harsh.

Settle down mums. He ate her food. He didn't clear out her bank account!.

Sorry op. No biggie to me. Yeah it sucks. But it doesn't suck hard enough to make a MN post about it tbh...

It's ridiculous how much projection and nipping at OP is going on in this thread. She asked for support and an AIBU to be fed up with DO for eating her food not an invented assassination of her relationship or choices to have children! She's in a stable relationship.

OP yanbu to be fed up of your DP, his food greediness isn't ok when he eats your food . Quite right to say he has to go out replace it immediately. He's a foolhardy man to eat a pregnant woman's dinner that she was saving. I'd stop letting him have any of your food / dinner full stop and make that a rule. He's acting like anything you don't finish is fair game for him to gobble up. He eats fast and efficiently, You've a baby pressing on your stomach so eat slower and are taking breaks until you have more room. Can you explain it like that to him (as well as saying Don't eat my food ever 😡 ! I was eating it!)

Send him out to buy you more so you don't have to wait for next appmt. Or get him to order snd pay for it in Uber eats - a pregnancy craving deserves that!!

Ugh, these greedy men pop up on MN every so often. It's such an unattractive trait.

OP, I'm bothered that he came and pestered you for yet more of your food after you'd already given him some. That's so selfish! You hadn't yet filled your belly and he was already demanding more, like a toddler. Why does he think it's more important for him to gorge himself than for his pregnant GF to be fed?

@TuftyMarmoset

I really enjoy my own space and I love DP but in small doses😂 one time we spent a week together and it just felt never ending. I love knowing I have a couple/few days to myself at the end of the week

I hate to say it OP but it doesn’t sound like he’s the one for you. Find someone who won’t steal your food and you WANT to spend a whole week with.

This. You seem to have very low expectations of a life partner OP.

Yes, because he has committed to his family and only has to leave them for work, not because he feels like having a couple of days off every week.
*
A parent working away isn't necessarily great for the child, but it's better than a parent not being there because they just don't want to*.

Everyone that's commented on this has focued on the reason of the absence and not how the absence impacts the child as already asked by a PP. It's funny how no one seems to be able to answer the question of whether a parent working a way causes an unstable environment too or is it just when a parent isn't living at the house even though that parent actually sees the child more frequently. A lot of contradiction and minimal explanations here

I’m more concerned that you left rice on the side and didn’t refrigerate it.

I can't believe a whole thread has been created about a guy eating some rice - and a guy according to the OP who pays for everything even though he doesn't live with her ,who is a wonderful parent blah blah . Give the bloke a break - he ate some fucking rice.

Completely agree with @DameMaureen. This is Ross's sandwich saga all over again.

@heebiejeebies45

I wouldn't worry enough to get caught up in arguing back with irrelevant tangents made by PPs you probably don't find helpful .... this is your thread ... for support for you.

I'm pretty sure your AIBU was simply about DP eating your dinner you were saving, not an invite for others to comment on how your individual family soloed time , working or living arrangements !!

@santabetterwashhishands

I hope your not claiming to live alone while mr greedy stays and plays the system 🤔

I was thinking this.

@nextdoorslawnmower

You have a great relationship but you can only take him in small doses, and are on here complaining about him. Right.

I agree with this. He may be a great guy (apart from the food stealing of course...) and a great father. But if you can't stand spending a week in his company I don't have much confidence in the relationship lasting. I certainly don't think getting pregnant with a second child within a couple of months of a traumatic birth is a great idea.

Op, next time he is due over, tell him to bring you 2 of the rice boxes...1 for you and the other for the baby you are growing.

If he even dares eat any, you have your answer. This is actually not lighthearted but will let you know whether he respects you or values his stomach more. Greedy men are just selfish and unbearable...and this will bleed over into other parts of your relationship.

I don't have much confidence in the relationship lasting. I certainly don't think getting pregnant with a second child within a couple of months of a traumatic birth is a great idea.

Do I know you? Do you think I care about any confidence you have in our relationship lasting or your opinion on us having a second baby? Did I actually ask for any of the information you've just given?

This thread has certainly gone in an unnecessary direction.

For the miserable hags who have left bitchy comments about DP and I and how we're impacting our child, please go and find another thread to derail. I wish I cared about your opinions on our relationship and living situation but I simply don't.

DP has messaged to say he's sorry about my rice and will bring me a new ricebox tomorrow (thank God because it's all I can think about!)
Thank you for all the stories from women who have cried over their DP/DH finishing food once they've been pregnant😂 those stories honestly made my day!

My DH doesn't mess with my food. Your mistake was letting him share yours, don't do that again. Give them an inch, they take a mile.

@heebiejeebies45

I don't have much confidence in the relationship lasting. I certainly don't think getting pregnant with a second child within a couple of months of a traumatic birth is a great idea.

Do I know you? Do you think I care about any confidence you have in our relationship lasting or your opinion on us having a second baby? Did I actually ask for any of the information you've just given?

You did give all the information, not sure of the relevance of it, or why you gave it?

Man eats rice

Woman I had a traumatic birth, a number of months ago

🤷‍♀️

@heebiejeebies45

This thread has certainly gone in an unnecessary direction.

For the miserable hags who have left bitchy comments about DP and I and how we're impacting our child, please go and find another thread to derail. I wish I cared about your opinions on our relationship and living situation but I simply don't.

DP has messaged to say he's sorry about my rice and will bring me a new ricebox tomorrow (thank God because it's all I can think about!)
Thank you for all the stories from women who have cried over their DP/DH finishing food once they've been pregnant😂 those stories honestly made my day!

Miserable hags?

Nice!

Enjoy your rice box!