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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP ate my food😡

237 replies

heebiejeebies45 · 27/10/2021 18:14

I need to hear people's opinions as I really don't know if my hormones are taking over or not!

Hopefully this isn't a long one but want to add extra info so I don't drip feed.
I had my first baby in May and both baby and I were in hospital for 7 days due to a bad labour (ended up having 3 surgeries, lost 2L of blood, baby got really ill etc.) Over the course of 4/5 weeks I was in and out of the hospital weekly due to all of these issues once discharged. When DP would stay overnight in the hospital with me, he would bring me this chicken and rice box to eat for lunch which was absolutely amazing. I later found out it was a Filipino food stall which served street food in DPs area and there wasn't one near me.

Fast forward to now, I'm currently 14 weeks pregnant with our second baby and the hospital I'm having the baby in is very close to the food place DP would get this rice box from. Whenever I have a hospital appointment (which isn't often) I go to the food stall and buy both of our orders.

Today DP wanted something different and asked for a burrito. When I got home we saw it wasn't actually a burrito and his order was done incorrectly. Even though it wasn't what he ordered, he tried it and liked it so ate all of it. I asked if he wanted some of mine (we usually get the same rice box) and he said yeah so I poured a bit out of my box and put it in his. He then finished his food and came over bothering me for some more of mine. I was jokingly saying, 'go away you've had your own' but let him take a mouthful.

I always get a large and always save half for dinner as I can never finish it all at one time. I put the box down on the table and never thought anything of it. Fast forward a couple of hours and I start getting hungry again so I go to the table to get my rice box but it isn't there. I go into the kitchen and see it on the side, picked it up and it was as light as a feather! Opened it up and there was honestly no more than 2 mouthfuls left in the box.
I had left nearly half! I go over to DP and say 'where the hell is my food, why did you have some, I never said you can have some' etc. He starts saying 'yes you did' then eventually said sorry because he knows he ate it without asking me. I had to go to the front door for fresh air because I was genuinely upset.

I know this is going to sound silly but I really do love that food. I rarely have it as it isn't close to where I live and DP knows I was saving that for dinner. He has form for this too as last time I was pregnant, I put down a container of chow mein near the side of the bed to get a drink, when I looked over, DP had finished all of my chow mein!

I told him to go home (he was going home today anyway but told him to go earlier) I was so pissed off. All a pregnant girl wanted to do was sit down at eat her food for dinner, is that so much to ask?!
Did I overreact or is he just a food thief?

OP posts:
EKGEMS · 27/10/2021 20:29

@Sparklfairy That's known as justifiable homicide in my book! I once ate my hubby's cookies he had saved which got quickly replaced I was so ashamed but that was one food crime once in 30 years together. @heebiejeebies45 Good luck-I sure hope he brings a replacement next time he darkens your doorstep

TractorAndHeadphones · 27/10/2021 20:29

V selfish - I would be very pissed and firmly lay down consequences. If DP did this to me he’s be out the door getting a replacement AND cake to make up for being such a selfish part!

Extra angry because I plan my food carefully

TractorAndHeadphones · 27/10/2021 20:30

Also how the fuck can you accidentally end up eating someone else’s food?
Open door, see food you know you didn’t buy, take something else or close door. Easy and simple.

1FootInTheRave · 27/10/2021 20:32

Kill him.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 27/10/2021 20:38

Oh blimey I think I’m your OH! Wouldn’t think twice about eating my OHs leftovers!

Justme10 · 27/10/2021 20:44

When I was pregnant I dreamt that someone ate food I wanted (not my food) and woke up very angry and a bit tearful Grin

Hopefully he will bring you more next time and learn his learn not get in between a pregnant woman and her food.

AuntMargo · 27/10/2021 20:45

I think this is hilarious actually. Stop being so dramatic !

PooWillyNameChange · 27/10/2021 20:46

He is an inconsiderate bastard, but do be careful leaving out rice it can actually be very very dangerous!

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 27/10/2021 20:52

He did you a favour eating it as food poisoning is grim, and probably risky when you are pregnant

Yes , he saved you from yourself

#Unselfish hero taking ine for the Team

Briarshollow · 27/10/2021 20:55

I would imagine it's for benefits reasons

I wouldn’t have thought of that but it suppose it makes sense. Especially with two kids.

I can’t think of much worse than being pregnant instantly after all the blood loss, surgeries and a sick baby in hospital but I am in my 30s and was pretty hot on my contraception after a midwife said to me at my six week check with a wry smile, ‘you don’t want to explain why your two kids are in the same school year and aren’t twins…’.

themadcatparade · 27/10/2021 20:56

It's greedy yes. Very selfish.

But it's not a huge issue to be well upset over it. I was half expecting him to have eaten the whole thing before you had the chance to. You ate yours until you was full and then left it. He just saw the cheeky opportunity to scoff. Deserves a slap on the wrist yeah but the fact you went outside to get some air?? He didn't leave you starving.

It's just another excuse for an additional take away in my eyes. With him funding it.

FrogFairy · 27/10/2021 20:59

Next time you go, buy as many as you can carry home and freeze them.

Then you can enjoy them when greedy guts is not there.

Original poster
heebiejeebies45 · 27/10/2021 20:59

I'm not even on benefits (except for child benefit of course) so all you people talking about benefit fraud are actually mad. I'm just looking at these comments shaking my head. Benefit fraud out of all things, you all certainly picked that one out of your arses

OP posts:
CyclingIsNotOuting · 27/10/2021 21:06

You never take a pregnant woman’s food!
This 👆

Creepypastard · 27/10/2021 21:11

@Briarshollow

I would imagine it's for benefits reasons

I wouldn’t have thought of that but it suppose it makes sense. Especially with two kids.

I can’t think of much worse than being pregnant instantly after all the blood loss, surgeries and a sick baby in hospital but I am in my 30s and was pretty hot on my contraception after a midwife said to me at my six week check with a wry smile, ‘you don’t want to explain why your two kids are in the same school year and aren’t twins…’.

Why?
UndertheCedartree · 27/10/2021 21:13

I would cry over food when I was pregnant. He definitely should be a lot more supportive. A 5 month old and pregnant - you have a lot on your plate Flowers

VillageOf8 · 27/10/2021 21:16

I definitely would not be ok having kids with a man who I'm not living with or married to, but if you're fine with him not living with you and the kids, that's all that matters. It's your life and your business.

Regarding the food, I would be very pissed too and I'm not even pregnant. I hate when people eat all my food up after I already offered them some. Like, get your own if you like it that much. Don't take all mine. You need to really put a stop to that right now as he's being inconsiderate. Is he like that in other ways?

The part that gets me is that he first tried to say you agreed for him to eat the food, knowing damn well you never said that. I don't know what a good solution to that would be, but you need to nip this inconsiderate behavior for sure.

stillvicarinatutu · 27/10/2021 21:16

Ffs . If this is an issue why are you having kids together?

BreatheAndFocus · 27/10/2021 21:16

Yes, your DP was greedy and knew what he was doing. Interestingly, I was going to say he sounded immature before you mentioned his age. I do think his age has something to do with it.

You say he’s taken your food before? Put your foot down now - literally spell it out to him. If he can’t control himself, he needs to develop some willpower.

You were right to be upset. I stood in the corner shop and cried when I was pregnant because they didn’t have the particular chocolate bar I wanted. The woman behind the till kept offering me others but I just had to have the ‘right’ one and nothing else would do. I didn’t even care that I was crying - all I could think about was my chocolate 😆

EarthSight · 27/10/2021 21:17

He probably sees this as cheeky, harmless, but admittedly annoying behaviour.

All a pregnant girl wanted to do was sit down at eat her food for dinner, is that so much to ask?!

It is if you're a selfish father who takes food from his pregnant partner. However, I think it needs to be looked at in the larger context of how he is with you.

DBI78 · 27/10/2021 21:18

That is rude and thoughtless. I would be angry. Maybe you need to be more clear and say "don't eat my food I've not finished it'

VainAbigail · 27/10/2021 21:20

Do you eat chow mein in bed?

🤔

Eilatan2018 · 27/10/2021 21:27

@Melawati

You had a baby in May and you’re 14 weeks pregnant now with your second?
Exactly what I thought?! Wow 😮 oh and get over it… it’s just food!
EgSk · 27/10/2021 21:28

This thread has been entertaining 😂

Funny story for you OP! When I was pregnant I offered to share a tub of ice cream with my husband . I made us each a bowl
and split the tub of ice cream between us . I tried to keep it even but when he saw my bowl he insisted I gave myself more than him . He got up and weighed them 🤦‍♀️! It turns out I did give myself more , but not a ridiculous amount . Like geez, I didn’t try to give myself more and anyway I’m pregnant , had a craving and had every right to have a tiny bit more than him even though I didn’t mean to 🙄. Every so often throughout the pregnancy I would think about this and cry over it 😂! Now we tell the story to our friends and laugh. He knows he was in the wrong .

HairyScaryMonster · 27/10/2021 21:32

When I was pregnant I had a meltdown when DH ate the last banana so you are def NBU. Tbf it was the thing guaranteed to soothe my morning sickness.