Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP ate my food😡

237 replies

heebiejeebies45 · 27/10/2021 18:14

I need to hear people's opinions as I really don't know if my hormones are taking over or not!

Hopefully this isn't a long one but want to add extra info so I don't drip feed.
I had my first baby in May and both baby and I were in hospital for 7 days due to a bad labour (ended up having 3 surgeries, lost 2L of blood, baby got really ill etc.) Over the course of 4/5 weeks I was in and out of the hospital weekly due to all of these issues once discharged. When DP would stay overnight in the hospital with me, he would bring me this chicken and rice box to eat for lunch which was absolutely amazing. I later found out it was a Filipino food stall which served street food in DPs area and there wasn't one near me.

Fast forward to now, I'm currently 14 weeks pregnant with our second baby and the hospital I'm having the baby in is very close to the food place DP would get this rice box from. Whenever I have a hospital appointment (which isn't often) I go to the food stall and buy both of our orders.

Today DP wanted something different and asked for a burrito. When I got home we saw it wasn't actually a burrito and his order was done incorrectly. Even though it wasn't what he ordered, he tried it and liked it so ate all of it. I asked if he wanted some of mine (we usually get the same rice box) and he said yeah so I poured a bit out of my box and put it in his. He then finished his food and came over bothering me for some more of mine. I was jokingly saying, 'go away you've had your own' but let him take a mouthful.

I always get a large and always save half for dinner as I can never finish it all at one time. I put the box down on the table and never thought anything of it. Fast forward a couple of hours and I start getting hungry again so I go to the table to get my rice box but it isn't there. I go into the kitchen and see it on the side, picked it up and it was as light as a feather! Opened it up and there was honestly no more than 2 mouthfuls left in the box.
I had left nearly half! I go over to DP and say 'where the hell is my food, why did you have some, I never said you can have some' etc. He starts saying 'yes you did' then eventually said sorry because he knows he ate it without asking me. I had to go to the front door for fresh air because I was genuinely upset.

I know this is going to sound silly but I really do love that food. I rarely have it as it isn't close to where I live and DP knows I was saving that for dinner. He has form for this too as last time I was pregnant, I put down a container of chow mein near the side of the bed to get a drink, when I looked over, DP had finished all of my chow mein!

I told him to go home (he was going home today anyway but told him to go earlier) I was so pissed off. All a pregnant girl wanted to do was sit down at eat her food for dinner, is that so much to ask?!
Did I overreact or is he just a food thief?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 27/10/2021 21:34

Some may say he does more parenting than me! He's been extremely hands on from the start and is an amazing dad. He often takes DD round to his mum's to give me a break for the day.

This is what passes for being an amazing and hands on dad?

Aposterhasnoname · 27/10/2021 21:37

Missing the point entirely but eating rice which has been left out for a couple of hours is one of the fastest ways to contract Bacillus Cereus. Believe me, there are no situations which would be improved by a dose of the shits that that bad boy causes.

Original poster
heebiejeebies45 · 27/10/2021 21:40

@WorraLiberty

Some may say he does more parenting than me! He's been extremely hands on from the start and is an amazing dad. He often takes DD round to his mum's to give me a break for the day.

This is what passes for being an amazing and hands on dad?

I clearly wrote more than that and as I said the list goes on. Do you want me to sit and write every single way he's involved with the parenting of a 5 month old because if that's the case I'll be here all day. You people are so strange
OP posts:
Original poster
heebiejeebies45 · 27/10/2021 21:40

@VainAbigail

Do you eat chow mein in bed?

🤔

When I was 8 months pregnant I was eating food wherever I felt comfortable so yes I was eating chow mein in bed
OP posts:
Lana07 · 27/10/2021 21:43

I understand it upset you a lot but I personally wouldn't worry about it much.

My mum used to cook the whole saucepans/frying pans of food
and everyone had enough.

Original poster
heebiejeebies45 · 27/10/2021 21:44

@BreatheAndFocus

Yes, your DP was greedy and knew what he was doing. Interestingly, I was going to say he sounded immature before you mentioned his age. I do think his age has something to do with it.

You say he’s taken your food before? Put your foot down now - literally spell it out to him. If he can’t control himself, he needs to develop some willpower.

You were right to be upset. I stood in the corner shop and cried when I was pregnant because they didn’t have the particular chocolate bar I wanted. The woman behind the till kept offering me others but I just had to have the ‘right’ one and nothing else would do. I didn’t even care that I was crying - all I could think about was my chocolate 😆

Definitely a bit of immaturity and lack of control on his part tbh. I'm quite bad with food but wouldn't eat someone's food without asking, that's just common courtesy at the very least!

😂😂 that was honestly me in Tesco's when they didn't have anymore turkey ham. When you have something specific in mind nothing else is going to tickle your fancy!

OP posts:
Original poster
heebiejeebies45 · 27/10/2021 21:47

@EgSk

This thread has been entertaining 😂

Funny story for you OP! When I was pregnant I offered to share a tub of ice cream with my husband . I made us each a bowl
and split the tub of ice cream between us . I tried to keep it even but when he saw my bowl he insisted I gave myself more than him . He got up and weighed them 🤦‍♀️! It turns out I did give myself more , but not a ridiculous amount . Like geez, I didn’t try to give myself more and anyway I’m pregnant , had a craving and had every right to have a tiny bit more than him even though I didn’t mean to 🙄. Every so often throughout the pregnancy I would think about this and cry over it 😂! Now we tell the story to our friends and laugh. He knows he was in the wrong .

How can he be the one to measure it because he had a little less😂 you'd think he was the pregnant one! So what happened when yours was weighing more, did he take a scoop of ice cream back or let you have it?😂

I'm laughing at you thinking about it during your pregnancy and starting to cry over it😭 that honestly sounds like me

OP posts:
Moonwatcher1234 · 27/10/2021 21:50

OP doesn’t like it if you criticise her partner. OP doesn’t like it if you side with her partner. So, I’m saying nothing!

honkytonkheroe · 27/10/2021 21:52

I don't get all these comments about not living together. My husband worked away for many years when my kids were small. He left Monday morning and came back Friday night? Would that be deemed as unstable and it not what's the difference?

WorraLiberty · 27/10/2021 21:54

I clearly wrote more than that and as I said the list goes on. Do you want me to sit and write every single way he's involved with the parenting of a 5 month old because if that's the case I'll be here all day. You people are so strange

Well 'us people' really would be here all day if you're going to list such insignificant things, as a bloke taking his kid to his mum's as 'amazing'.

Original poster
heebiejeebies45 · 27/10/2021 21:58

@WorraLiberty

I clearly wrote more than that and as I said the list goes on. Do you want me to sit and write every single way he's involved with the parenting of a 5 month old because if that's the case I'll be here all day. You people are so strange

Well 'us people' really would be here all day if you're going to list such insignificant things, as a bloke taking his kid to his mum's as 'amazing'.

Okay because I really didn't have any other things to say which answered the pp question? I didn't include a few things to summarise how he's involved with the parenting of our child I just said he takes our DD to his mum's which makes him an amazing dad. Okay👍
OP posts:
BoredZelda · 27/10/2021 21:58

We have a great relationship

Other than him always stealing your food, and arguing with you to the point you had to go outside for fresh air. I’m 20 years with my husband and haven’t ever had to do that, nor would he ever steal my food.

TotallySuper · 27/10/2021 21:58

@heebiejeebies45

I'm not even on benefits (except for child benefit of course) so all you people talking about benefit fraud are actually mad. I'm just looking at these comments shaking my head. Benefit fraud out of all things, you all certainly picked that one out of your arses
Good for you, its just most of the time this is the reason why people have kids but still live apart and/or never get married. I have someone in my family who does exactly this so it's a close to home scenario. I shouldn't judge its just with both of you so young, him living with parents and 2 nearly very young children etc I assumed wrongly this was the most likely set up.
Original poster
heebiejeebies45 · 27/10/2021 21:58

@Moonwatcher1234

OP doesn’t like it if you criticise her partner. OP doesn’t like it if you side with her partner. So, I’m saying nothing!
Bye👋
OP posts:
Yogity · 27/10/2021 22:00

Honestly most of the things I cried about in pregnancy have been food related so I feel your pain.
On one occasion I was really craving dauphinoise potatoes. DH picked up ready made ones from M&S but when he went to cook them someone had put their thumb through the film lid so we had to bin them. I was inconsolable Blush Tesco substituted the watermelon (my #1 craving!) out of our order 3 weeks in a row and I lost it every single week. DH had to go elsewhere and get some.

Your DP owes you a replacement regardless of how inconvenient the journey or timing!

Hope you find something to satisfy the craving in the interim Flowers

Original poster
heebiejeebies45 · 27/10/2021 22:01

@BoredZelda

We have a great relationship

Other than him always stealing your food, and arguing with you to the point you had to go outside for fresh air. I’m 20 years with my husband and haven’t ever had to do that, nor would he ever steal my food.

😂 I went to the door for fresh air because I was so annoyed/upset that he had eaten my food. Not because we were arguing (which we weren't.) If you've never done that with your DH then that's honestly great for you
OP posts:
girlmom21 · 27/10/2021 22:05

If he still lives 'at home' why doesn't he move in with you?

Original poster
heebiejeebies45 · 27/10/2021 22:06

@honkytonkheroe

I don't get all these comments about not living together. My husband worked away for many years when my kids were small. He left Monday morning and came back Friday night? Would that be deemed as unstable and it not what's the difference?
Great question. Someone else said something similar upthread and said that their husband worked away for the majority of the week and that my baby is getting a lot more daddy time than her DC did. Interestingly enough no one had anything to say in regards to that. I'd love to see someone answer your question
OP posts:
girlmom21 · 27/10/2021 22:08

To answer the question below: a man working away from home to provide for his family and keep a roof over their heads and food on the table and comes home to said family at weekends is different to a man who has two children and still chooses to live with mommy.

Practicebeingpatient · 27/10/2021 22:08

We have a great relationship

Really? So great that he tried to trick you into thinking you has told him to eat your food? So great that rather than resolve it like adults you made him leave your home?

Percypigg · 27/10/2021 22:09

Are the food stalls close to St Thomas's hospital?

toomuchlaundry · 27/10/2021 22:16

Does he help finance your house, living costs, costs of baby?

Original poster
heebiejeebies45 · 27/10/2021 22:16

@girlmom21

To answer the question below: a man working away from home to provide for his family and keep a roof over their heads and food on the table and comes home to said family at weekends is different to a man who has two children and still chooses to live with mommy.
So the fact that DP works and provides for his family, keeps a roof over our head, puts food on the table AND sees his child way more than said person who works away, that's different because he doesn't actually live with us? Yet he sees DC more and does everything else the partner who works away does?

So as @honkytonkheroe said, the partner who works away for days/years at a time, is that deemed as having an unstable home environment for the child/children? I hope you can see the contradiction here as what you're saying really doesn't make sense. They both have an absence for different reason but one's okay because they're away working. Okay then

OP posts:
Original poster
heebiejeebies45 · 27/10/2021 22:17

@Percypigg

Are the food stalls close to St Thomas's hospital?
I'm not having this baby at St Thomas'
OP posts:
Original poster
heebiejeebies45 · 27/10/2021 22:24

@girlmom21

If he still lives 'at home' why doesn't he move in with you?
Because I don't want to live together yet. It's really simple and I've already mentioned this. We don't need to live together just because we had a child. As I've said we'll be living together soon enough and he's with us most days anyway
OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread