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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP ate my food😡

237 replies

heebiejeebies45 · 27/10/2021 18:14

I need to hear people's opinions as I really don't know if my hormones are taking over or not!

Hopefully this isn't a long one but want to add extra info so I don't drip feed.
I had my first baby in May and both baby and I were in hospital for 7 days due to a bad labour (ended up having 3 surgeries, lost 2L of blood, baby got really ill etc.) Over the course of 4/5 weeks I was in and out of the hospital weekly due to all of these issues once discharged. When DP would stay overnight in the hospital with me, he would bring me this chicken and rice box to eat for lunch which was absolutely amazing. I later found out it was a Filipino food stall which served street food in DPs area and there wasn't one near me.

Fast forward to now, I'm currently 14 weeks pregnant with our second baby and the hospital I'm having the baby in is very close to the food place DP would get this rice box from. Whenever I have a hospital appointment (which isn't often) I go to the food stall and buy both of our orders.

Today DP wanted something different and asked for a burrito. When I got home we saw it wasn't actually a burrito and his order was done incorrectly. Even though it wasn't what he ordered, he tried it and liked it so ate all of it. I asked if he wanted some of mine (we usually get the same rice box) and he said yeah so I poured a bit out of my box and put it in his. He then finished his food and came over bothering me for some more of mine. I was jokingly saying, 'go away you've had your own' but let him take a mouthful.

I always get a large and always save half for dinner as I can never finish it all at one time. I put the box down on the table and never thought anything of it. Fast forward a couple of hours and I start getting hungry again so I go to the table to get my rice box but it isn't there. I go into the kitchen and see it on the side, picked it up and it was as light as a feather! Opened it up and there was honestly no more than 2 mouthfuls left in the box.
I had left nearly half! I go over to DP and say 'where the hell is my food, why did you have some, I never said you can have some' etc. He starts saying 'yes you did' then eventually said sorry because he knows he ate it without asking me. I had to go to the front door for fresh air because I was genuinely upset.

I know this is going to sound silly but I really do love that food. I rarely have it as it isn't close to where I live and DP knows I was saving that for dinner. He has form for this too as last time I was pregnant, I put down a container of chow mein near the side of the bed to get a drink, when I looked over, DP had finished all of my chow mein!

I told him to go home (he was going home today anyway but told him to go earlier) I was so pissed off. All a pregnant girl wanted to do was sit down at eat her food for dinner, is that so much to ask?!
Did I overreact or is he just a food thief?

OP posts:
VitalsStable · 27/10/2021 18:39

@EnjoyingTheArmoire

Totally off topic, but you really shouldn't be leaving cooked rice out on the side, it's quite risky if it's not cooled and heated properly.

The last thing you need is rice related food poisoning, especially as you're pregnant.

This was my first thought too!
hotmeatymilk · 27/10/2021 18:40

I KNEW someone would pick up on the rice being left out! OP, it’s like you’ve left us a lovely breadcrumb trail (rice trail) of juicy nonsense to take us wildly off-topic. Well done, I’m settling in.

Since he’s travelling 40 minutes to you anyway, is it any further hardship for him to pick up another rice box on his way?

Original poster
heebiejeebies45 · 27/10/2021 18:40

@SantasLittleHoHoHo

Against the flow of PP, honestly it doesn't seem like the biggest incident in the world! Yes he ate some of your food that you'd left to save (but you did offer him some previously!) and it's really annoying. He definitely owes you a trip to get some more food! I've done this before and so has my DP.

Being genuinely upset about something like this, to the point you need fresh air, sounds like a slight overreaction. How are you doing in general OP? Are there other issues at play here? To be honest, this alone doesn't seem like a big deal. Is there more to this?

It's definitely not the biggest incident in the world. I'd offered him some previously but didn't say he could sneak off in the kitchen and eat most of the food I had left! There's literally nothing more to it. I'm in my second trimester constantly thinking about this rice box and this idiot had the cheek to eat some and leave me two mouthfuls😂 that's enough to rock my boat. He's always stealing food it's just so annoying
OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/10/2021 18:41

You never take a pregnant woman’s food!

I mean you don’t take someone else’s food full stop - not if you know they’re keeping it on purpose - but it’s especially bad when you’re pregnant.

Crisps4Everyone · 27/10/2021 18:41

So much weirdness.
Not living together but second child.
Food left out for hours
Chow mein taken

He sounds like a dog

Boudiccasback · 27/10/2021 18:42

Why don’t you live together?Confused

TheAverageUser · 27/10/2021 18:42

I'd be incandescent with rage if this happened to me pregnant Grin you probably do have to forgive him though but take your time ha.

Cuddlemuffin · 27/10/2021 18:43

If you weren't pregnant Id say it's a bit of an over reaction. I'd me really pissed off and send him out for more or he massively owe me. If I was pregnant on the other hand...I'd have bloody strangled him!!! YANBU

tiggerwhocamefortea · 27/10/2021 18:43

You've shared bodily fluids.....seemingly twice. I'm sure you can share a ruddy rice box

Its weirder that you don't live together and having children in quick succession - what's with that? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anonymous48 · 27/10/2021 18:43

@Melawati

You had a baby in May and you’re 14 weeks pregnant now with your second?
After a traumatic birth and several weeks of being in and out of the hospital, no less!
Original poster
heebiejeebies45 · 27/10/2021 18:44

@Melawati

You had a baby in May and you’re 14 weeks pregnant now with your second?
Yes it's not unheard of of people getting pregnant within a few months of having a baby. Many women have 2 kids under 2 or kids that have only a 11/12 month age gap or have you never heard that before?
OP posts:
hotmeatymilk · 27/10/2021 18:45

You've shared bodily fluids.....seemingly twice. I'm sure you can share a ruddy rice box
What does having had sex with someone have to do with whether they’re allowed to eat all your dinner?

tiggerwhocamefortea · 27/10/2021 18:46

sorry is there some sort of handbook that says you have to live together when having kids?

Well yes to best provide a stable home environment for your children as well as teaching them about what " normal" stable relationships look like? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
heebiejeebies45 · 27/10/2021 18:46

@Mumofone2021

When you’re pregnant, and craving food then nothing is unreasonable! I broke down in morrisons once when 20 weeks pregnant as they’d sold out of crispy seaweed. Also my best friends finest moment was when she was 18 weeks pregnant and slapped my ex partner in the face for eating the last packet of quavers in their house. He was a twat so fully deserved it.
Oh no!😂 During my first pregnancy I cried in a Tesco aisle because they had no turkey ham and it was my fourth day in the row on the hunt for it. It's so funny how emotional we can get over food once pregnant!
OP posts:
tiggerwhocamefortea · 27/10/2021 18:47

@hotmeatymilk

You've shared bodily fluids.....seemingly twice. I'm sure you can share a ruddy rice box What does having had sex with someone have to do with whether they’re allowed to eat all your dinner?

She left it on the table? I'd take that as an invite to either finish it off or put it in the bin?

ANameChangeAgain · 27/10/2021 18:47

All I'm bothered about is you getting food poisoning, but he really shouldn't be pinching your food. Its rude.
Why is everyone so obsessed with the living arrangements? Different situations work for different people.

stingofthebutterfly · 27/10/2021 18:47

Poor kids. You've deliberately started their lives without a dad on hand, whilst recovering from a very traumatic previous delivery, which is risky to you. You've definitely got bigger problems than a tub of rice.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 27/10/2021 18:47

I don't think it's a big deal but perhaps we are more relaxed with our boundaries. I would expect someone else to eat something l left. Your relationship sounds like you have different boundaries so l guess yanbu.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 27/10/2021 18:48

cooked rice left out for hours?
please educate yourself about food safety.
you could've had serious food poisoning so at this point it's lucky he ate it!!

But of course he should have asked you before finishing it off, it wasn't his to eat up.
It'd be pissed off too

hotmeatymilk · 27/10/2021 18:48

Unless she wrote a note saying “take rice box” it’s not an invitation! I used to pause halfway through meals all the time when pregnant. I usually put them in the fridge though. And lived with DP like some kind of Stepford. Grin

Grapewrath · 27/10/2021 18:49

Yabvu to leave rice out on the table it needs to be rapidly cooled as a high risk food Grin
Your dp was selfish though I hope he gets the shits

HeckyPeck · 27/10/2021 18:49

I'm not pregnant and I would be really annoyed and either get my DH to go and get me some more or order a takeaway at his expense.

Greedy bastard!

Sparklfairy · 27/10/2021 18:49

@AnnListersBlister

He doesn't respect or care for you if you're carrying his child but he would rather he was satiated and you were hungry.
This about sums it up.

So he ate his own meal, then some of yours, then mithered you for more, THEN when your back was turned he stole almost all of what was left.

First World problems or not, that's a level of selfishness I couldn't deal with tbh.

MarioPants · 27/10/2021 18:50

@EnjoyingTheArmoire

Totally off topic, but you really shouldn't be leaving cooked rice out on the side, it's quite risky if it's not cooled and heated properly.

The last thing you need is rice related food poisoning, especially as you're pregnant.

This was my first thought too. I can tell you from experience that rice food poisoning is awful.
santabetterwashhishands · 27/10/2021 18:54

I hope your not claiming to live alone while mr greedy stays and plays the system 🤔

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