Thank god we don’t live in Sweden. AIBU?

[sw1v]

I was just reading in another thread that in Sweden, you are basically forced to send your babies into day care settings at the age of 1. Apparently 50% of 1 year olds are in full- time nurseries (very long days inc. parents’ commutes) and 95% by the time they are 2! Plus (unlike in the U.K.) there is apparently no minimum ratio for staff to children.

But what if you are a mother who simply doesn’t want to do this (or father)? I personally, would hate this. So how is it acceptable for ‘the state’ to be interfering in people’s personal spheres and family lives by making this ‘the societal norm.’ Is it because they are a high tax society and want more tax? Is this it? Well, it seems like an infringement on personal liberties to me (without wanting to sound too dramatic).

AIBU?

There’s no running water indoors in Sweden either - everyone is forced into communal baths or saunas or made to wash in the freezing cold lakes all year round. And if you complain to the council or authorities you get an extra year in Eurovision camp on top of the 6 compulsory years everyone has to do.
Barbaric.

I think we get that you don't like Sweden OP.

Won't you please think of all those duvet covers of yours, piling up, waiting to be ironed, feeling neglected, while you've wasted days on here justifying yourself?

(Unsuccessfully, it appears.)

Kramar till dig

My mate says that because of the Swedish governments obsession with equality for men and women in the workplace all the women are starting to grow beards as a side affect of having to work so much and the men’s voices are now 2 pitches higher than your typical British bloke. Nightmare.

@sw1v - do you have daughters? Do you teach them about equality?

@logsonlogsoff for Swedish Prime Minister pleeeeeease!!

I heard they get Xmas presents on Christmas EVE not Christmas Day! I mean, WTAF? Those poor, poor children. Not only that it the government has made a pact with Santa, ensuring children are given one of only 3 gifts - fermented herring, meatballs, or a ‘I love ABBA’ (satin) T-shirt.
So thankful my children don’t have to suffer like that.

Coming soon.
OP's new thread. For those forced to put children into nursery in Sweden.

How to claim asylum in IKEA

@logsonlogsoff

My mate says that because of the Swedish governments obsession with equality for men and women in the workplace all the women are starting to grow beards as a side affect of having to work so much and the men’s voices are now 2 pitches higher than your typical British bloke. Nightmare.

I was a visiting academic at Dalarna once and I started manspreading. True fact.

Op- Did you know that there are only a handful of occupations open to Swedes?
They can work at the Absolut distillery, hand knit chunky bobble hats with ‘Sweden’ on them or can herring. They get paid the equivalent of £50 an hour but pay 110% income tax on that.
If they want to do anything else they have to leave the country, that’s why, where ever you go, you’ll bump into a Swede. Forced to flee their own country, just for freedom of choice.

Swedes aren’t even allowed to work in IKEA! The government gives those cushy roles to immigrants. Real life.

Coming soon.
OP's new thread. For those forced to put children into nursery in Sweden.

How to claim asylum in IKEA

Yes I would be.

@logsonlogsoff I guess we shouldn’t let people know that the kids are only allowed to nap at preschool if they can assemble a flatpack cot to sleep in first.

My mate Ylva told me that her traditional family speak an ancient dialect called ‘Hurdy Gurdy’ but the Swedish government banned it and anyone caught speaking Hurdy Gurdy gets chased around a room for half an hour by an irate, red moustache chef wielding a meat cleaver.
Can’t imagine THAT happening in the U.K.!

Er, the data was not false though. At least two people posted stats to confirm it. There was some debate as to what ‘full time’ means in Sweden and I’m not sure what the outcome there was?

The data was false as A) it didn’t show people were using nurseries with “long days inc. parents commute” B) it isn’t much different from the numbers of parents using childcare of some sort in the U.K. so your correlation was off and C) despite there being no minimum nationally, municipalities set their own ratios and the national average is similar to our regulations.

The recent posters are making me laugh out loud in the hairdressers.

Ok Zelda.

I’m not asking Sweden to change anything confused. Where did I say or imply that?

I think So how is it acceptable for ‘the state’ to be interfering in people’s personal spheres and family lives by making this ‘the societal norm.’

and

Well, it seems like an infringement on personal liberties to me

pretty much covers it.

But in which country exactly are you totally fee in your choises and not influenced by government's policies whatsoever? If that was the case, we could get rid of those useless governments clearly not doing their job.

Yes, you won't have that many play date opportunities if you're a SAHM in Sweden. On the other hand, you won't have affordable childcare, if you want to go back to work after maternity leave in the UK. I don't think overall women are more free and uninfluenced by policies and expectations in the UK.

I saw on Twitter that 79% of swedes want all forms of transport banned other than tandem bicycles. They’re so environmentally obsessed they don’t even want their OWN bicycles, they think everyone should share. Thats why they sold Volvo to foreigners. They hate cars now.

‘@logsonlogsoff I guess we shouldn’t let people know that the kids are only allowed to nap at preschool if they can assemble a flatpack cot to sleep in first.‘

I can believe people would even choose to born in Sweden!

Can’t!

Any society that discourages women from becoming financially dependent, and encourages men to step up and do the 50% of parenting they should already be doing because kids don't come from thin air, is only a good thing.

Why is it still such a radical idea to people (women, depressingly) that men should be parenting their own children an equal amount to the mother? There's a lot of internalised misogyny in your viewpoint OP. You brush off any suggestions that you could've discussed an even split of work and childcare with your husband with 'no I couldn't, he couldn't do that'. Bollocks. He just didn't want to, and our misogynist society enabled him, because for some reason the UK still doesn't encourage fathers to do any actual fathering and you've swallowed the sexist old 'men provide, women nuture' trope hook, line and sinker.

How many women post on here trapped in abusive marriages with no money of their own to leave, because their husband's job was too important to scale down so they were effectively forced into being a SAHM? How many women's partners promised to be flexible and do 50% parenting then when the baby arrived, found their work simply 'wouldn't accommodate' them leaving early/reducing hours, simply on account of them having a dick? It's fucking disgraceful that our society still blithely enables men to have whatever careers they want and expects women to pick up the slack, and is actually one of the many reasons I'd never have children. I'm not willing to take such a gamble on my own prospects when it's been shown time and time again that men, and the world we live in, can't be trusted to be a dad to the kid they created. So your husband couldn't have had his high-flying career if he'd have scaled back to do some parenting. So what? Women make sacrifices when they've had kids all the time. Why shouldn't men?

BoredZelda.
Yes, I wanted to use toddler groups and activities during the day, sometimes. Soft play establishments that offer these services, yes, exactly, set up by someone else. I suppose, it's supply and demand though, not so much need for them here when kids are in daycare during the week. Since you had the same experiences with your daughter of not having these places available you can understand my frustration here. Maybe if there had been more activities for you and your daughter, you could have been a SAHM for longer. Like you I felt I had to put my children in daycare for the socialisation aspect as it was so lacking here.
I had the same experience when my kids were babies and toddlers before we came here. I always felt sad that I couldn't recreate that here.

@PuffinShop

Sweden sounds fairly similar to Iceland in many respects.

It is. I have known many lovely icelandic families over the years (all doctors, they come here to study their last year and work here for a few years before they move back to Iceland.) They all say it’s very similar, and they easily fit in.

@TedMullins

Any society that discourages women from becoming financially dependent, and encourages men to step up and do the 50% of parenting they should already be doing because kids don't come from thin air, is only a good thing.

Why is it still such a radical idea to people (women, depressingly) that men should be parenting their own children an equal amount to the mother? There's a lot of internalised misogyny in your viewpoint OP. You brush off any suggestions that you could've discussed an even split of work and childcare with your husband with 'no I couldn't, he couldn't do that'. Bollocks. He just didn't want to, and our misogynist society enabled him, because for some reason the UK still doesn't encourage fathers to do any actual fathering and you've swallowed the sexist old 'men provide, women nuture' trope hook, line and sinker.

How many women post on here trapped in abusive marriages with no money of their own to leave, because their husband's job was too important to scale down so they were effectively forced into being a SAHM? How many women's partners promised to be flexible and do 50% parenting then when the baby arrived, found their work simply 'wouldn't accommodate' them leaving early/reducing hours, simply on account of them having a dick? It's fucking disgraceful that our society still blithely enables men to have whatever careers they want and expects women to pick up the slack, and is actually one of the many reasons I'd never have children. I'm not willing to take such a gamble on my own prospects when it's been shown time and time again that men, and the world we live in, can't be trusted to be a dad to the kid they created. So your husband couldn't have had his high-flying career if he'd have scaled back to do some parenting. So what? Women make sacrifices when they've had kids all the time. Why shouldn't men?

Well said