Thank god we don’t live in Sweden. AIBU?

[sw1v]

I was just reading in another thread that in Sweden, you are basically forced to send your babies into day care settings at the age of 1. Apparently 50% of 1 year olds are in full- time nurseries (very long days inc. parents’ commutes) and 95% by the time they are 2! Plus (unlike in the U.K.) there is apparently no minimum ratio for staff to children.

But what if you are a mother who simply doesn’t want to do this (or father)? I personally, would hate this. So how is it acceptable for ‘the state’ to be interfering in people’s personal spheres and family lives by making this ‘the societal norm.’ Is it because they are a high tax society and want more tax? Is this it? Well, it seems like an infringement on personal liberties to me (without wanting to sound too dramatic).

AIBU?

Isn’t Sweden ranked as one of the best places in the world to bring up a family? They have genuine shared patently leave and get like a year and a half off as statutory? And it’s 80% of your normal salary!?

I’m not slagging off Sweden fgs. I’m just saying (if these stats are true) thank god I don’t feel pressured to have my kids in full-time day care at the age if 2. I mean, fair enough if people want to or need to do this (that’s personal choice), but 95% is pretty much all babies and surely, if this is the case, you would feel like a societal weirdo just having your own children at home. At age 2!

Might have been an idea to research this before posting a thread with an unreliable source. The EYs practitioners are also more highly qualified there than here. Equivalent to teachers rather than nursery nurse level.

@sw1v

Somebody on another thread just quoted these stats today.

And provided what proof…?

I'm afraid your OP is utter twaddle.

Don't believe everything you read online, or anywhere else for that matter.

Someone on another thread could “quote stats” about eating chicken gives you erpes but that doesn’t make it true. You don’t even know what you’re saying either. Basically forcing all parents to put their children into day care then saying 50% of one year olds are in day care. It’s too early to be on the vino

@Animood sorry I’m struggling to do that on my phone, but here’s another article on the same thing. Denmark has some pretty harsh laws targeting migrants and refugees now, it shows some of the ways things could get worse here.

www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/denmark-migrant-children-ghettos-new-policy-language-skills-a8373261.html

Currently sat in my living room in Karlstad with my 3 year old sat on my knee watching Peter Rabbit. I can confirm this isn't true.

What a load of crap. Do your research before starting a thread about something.

Oh yes, and I can see your thinly veiled dig at full time working Mums too.

Maybe start getting angry at how expensive childcare is in the UK instead.

And, ‘societal weirdo’? I wouldn’t recommend having any kids if you care so much about what society thinks of your parenting methods.

Where I come from full-time preschool starts between 2.5 and 3yo. 99% of kids go. My mum kept us home until the age of 4.5 - does that make her a societal weirdo? Because she really couldn’t have cared less about what other people thought of her.

@sw1v

Somebody on another thread just quoted these stats today.

Sure, those stats might be true, but you're reading them in a very biased way.

50% of 1 year olds being in daycare doesn't them the parents are forced to send them. Isn't it more likely that parents simply have that option and choose it freely because it works for them?

Also something being a social norm doesn't equate to "they are basically forced to do it".

90% of Mumsnetters are called Derek.

Doesn't mean*

@Starcaller

90% of Mumsnetters are called Derek.

A new stat for you to quote OP.

Is it Sweden where nursery staff have at least an undergraduate degree as standard?

If not Sweden, then definitely a Scandi country.

Well fair enough, I should have checked the exact stats before I posted. But I thought someone in here might know about this and explain if or why it’s true. And I am asking AIBU. This is the point!

What is the goal of this thread? Shaming working mums? Not sure

I wouldn't go assuming that everything you read on the internet is true op.

I believe there is some truth to the idea that the way taxation is done in Sweden and high tax rates, it's harder for families to have a stay at home parent. Also, if almost everyone around you goes back to work, social lives for both mothers and children will center around the workplace and mums you meet through your daycare, meaning that a SAHM is likely to be feel quite isolated. If you really want to be a stay at home parent, I can see that Sweden might be a frustrating place to live.

That said, Sweden is very good on family-friendly work and a huge percentage of women work part-time in very family-friendly jobs in the (large) public sector. There's no particular social pressure to work full time, as far as I know. In fact, I have heard that the percentage of women in full-powered executive roles is not that high in Sweden. The high cost of labor means that outsourcing the running of a household to cleaners, gardeners and so on tends to be very expensive, and it tends to make more sense for one partner (usually the woman) to work part time while children are young and be the second-income earner.

None of this means Sweden is "good," or "bad," just that different societies have different trade-offs.

@Lairymary

Currently sat in my living room in Karlstad with my 3 year old sat on my knee watching Peter Rabbit. I can confirm this isn't true.

You mean you are hiding in your underground bunker and staying off the grid to avoid your 3-year-old being wrenched from your arms and thrown into nursery for 5 days a week. Blink twice if you need help!

@Starcaller

90% of Mumsnetters are called Derek.

I'm called Harold but feel pressured by social norms to change my name to Derek - because that's how these things work

... Oh dear god...

No wonder we are in the mess we are when people like op vote...

@sw1v

I’m not slagging off Sweden fgs. I’m just saying (if these stats are true) thank god I don’t feel pressured to have my kids in full-time day care at the age if 2. I mean, fair enough if people want to or need to do this (that’s personal choice), but 95% is pretty much all babies and surely, if this is the case, you would feel like a societal weirdo just having your own children at home. At age 2!

You're not slagging off Sweden when the title of the thread is literally "thank god I don't live there?"

@sw1v

I’m not slagging off Sweden fgs. I’m just saying (if these stats are true) thank god I don’t feel pressured to have my kids in full-time day care at the age if 2. I mean, fair enough if people want to or need to do this (that’s personal choice), but 95% is pretty much all babies and surely, if this is the case, you would feel like a societal weirdo just having your own children at home. At age 2!

So, OP, assuming that you now agree it's unlikely that the Swedes have a Daycare Police Force that frogmarches weeping babies off to daycare and jabs their mothers back into the workforce with a combination of brute force and social pressure, what does it tell you about the preferences of women with children to be able to continue to work?

Have a look at any developed countries with a high percentage of women in the workforce. Or do you think they're all 'forced'?

Thank god you've name changed. You've made yourself look a right div.