To think it’s fine to spend lots of time in bed!

[Thatsthewaytis]

I spend lots of time in bed and starting to feel like my DH thinks it’s lazy or that it’s not right to do so.

For context we’ve no DC, both WFH full time since March 2020. He is up at 8, out walking the dog, cooking his breakfast and at his desk working for 9.

I get up at 8.30, make a coffee and breakfast, back to bed, switch on laptop and do admin type tasks for the morning (reading work documents, review and comment on people’s work, organise meetings etc etc) then usually get up around 12.30 get dressed, lunch and spend my afternoon at the desk doing data parts of my work that need two screens.

Sometimes DH will walk past and say ‘still in bed’ ‘are you getting up soon’ etc - not in a mean way but just in a way that implies he thinks I’m still in bed.

I mean I am physically but I’ve done a full mornings work same as him.

Also in evenings if he’s heading out for example my preference is usually to get into bed with a cup of tea and watch tv there instead of on the couch - it’s comfier and warmer! He also seems to think I’ve gone ‘back to bed already’. Again technically true - I could be out of bed at 12 and back in bed by 8 when this happens.

Anyone else spend lots of time in bed or would you also think it’s not right? For more context as well, I suffer with back issues and I have an amazing firm mattress so I’m just more comfortable in bed than on a chair or couch.

Sounds horrible! I would hate that and would hate my Oh to do that! Seems slobbish and I find that unattractive. Luckily I can’t wfh!

Also could this be a sign of depression?

Sounds like a luxury, I'm up and out by 7.30 with dc drop offs, work, weekends no lie ins so am quite jealous! Yes it is slovenly tbh , getting washed and dressed makes you feel more human and pro active rather than semi retired living. Maybe I just can't imagine it as am out every single day, a day just spent at home, especially in a bedroom, is alien. Hope you do get out for fresh air etc and interacting with others. X

I usually watch telly in bed in the evenings (and weekends) my DFiance also thinks it's a bit odd but with teenage DC there's more interaction if we're all upstairs plus it's warm and cosy. When DFiance is here we sit downstairs.

I occasionally work sitting on the bed, but usually only if I'm on a call where I'm listening but not participating, like the directors weekly briefing or a non interactive training session, might as well be comfy. I couldn't do proper work in bed, although I sometimes move around the house during the day I might sit on the sofa or at the kitchen table for a change of scenery if I don't need two screens.

@Thatsthewaytis
Omg you sound like me!!! This is my story haha except for the fact that i have 4 (step) kids at home - luckily they're very independent and don't need me to 'care' for them in the mornings.
My dh also continuously makes 'jokes' about me being in bed- yet he sometimes sneaks up at the most random moments and I'll go to the bathroom and he is actually snoozing - wtf- after all his 'jokes'
I love my bed. You do what works for you.
I do make myself go for a walk every day otherwise I start to feel like a caged bird. Xx

Sounds lush!

Am with you OP . I get up at 7 ,let the dog out make a coffee and marmite toast…often doze off until about 9.30 .
If working I get up ,shower ,walk the dog and then go to work. Get home at 8 pm and am regularly back in bed by 9 pm ! Am usually asleep by 11pm .
My husband works from home and is up by 8 ,working by 9 and always out on a long walk in the evening and goes to bed very late!
We are all different so really don’t worry about how you are !

I think this post sums up what has gone wrong with home working! It is lazy and unprofessional, if you have a medical need to be in bed then fine but otherwise act like you would if you had to go to the office. It doesn’t sound like you work particularly hard if you have time to start so late and do all of that in your lunch break.

@OnceuponaRainbow18

Sounds horrible! I would hate that and would hate my Oh to do that! Seems slobbish and I find that unattractive. Luckily I can’t wfh!

Also could this be a sign of depression?

Not a very kind comment! We are all different with our body clocks !

@yummumto3girls

I think this post sums up what has gone wrong with home working! It is lazy and unprofessional, if you have a medical need to be in bed then fine but otherwise act like you would if you had to go to the office. It doesn’t sound like you work particularly hard if you have time to start so late and do all of that in your lunch break.

Can you tell where people are when you phone them? I suspect a bed and a desk chair sound very similar!

You are living the dream I wish I could

This is my guilty secret. My teenage DC were already spending most time upstairs, I was sitting downstairs alone.. when I had the sitting room re-plastered and decorated, re-carpeted, new fire etc. We have another sitting room, but it’s always been chilly, and that was where the furniture was moved to anyway, so when this work was going on I de-camped up to my room… And never came back down..none of us now ever sit downstairs, or eat downstairs. That starts with a cuppa and a biscuit, cuppa and toast, a sandwich.. it’s a slippery slope. I love it. It’s warm, cosy, private, a lot lighter than the downstairs which suffers from a lack of light and is quite gloomy. Advantage is that downstairs stays immaculate. People ask how I can keep it so nice. I never tell!

@Rugsofhonour

I can’t believe this is good for you if you have a bad back. Sitting in bed on a laptop won’t be good for your posture. Do you get much exercise? Do you get out for fresh air and vitamin D?

She's already said she walks the dog daily and does Pilates. Why would sitting at a desk mean she gets more daylight and exercise?

I love this post. Absolutely nothing wrong with it at all. I'm the same. I'd get rid of the partner if he continually said that to me! Ha! No different to watching TV on a sofa, just you have a duvet over you and are reclined and working with a laptop too from bed, again ignore all the 'you're lazy', 'bedding must smell', 'you're depressed', 'no exercise/fresh air' etc etc as long as you're happy and it works for you, it's fine. Very true too what's the difference to having a lie in to having an early night zzzzzzzz! I think the poll tips in your favour so no you're not being unreasonable but your partner is!

My people!

I love my bed. It's superking, has an electric blanket and is my refuge.

I too have wfh in bed, saving on heating and being very productive.

My bedroom is warm and cosy and I come here when I can in my cosy PJs.

I have teens and they are in their rooms.
If I wasn't married, I'd spend even more time here!

I wouldn't enjoy that OP.

I like being active, and I am not keen on slouching about.
I do rest in the evenings, usually read or watch something with some tea as a way of winding down.
Bed for me is for sleeping.
I get up at 6.30 every morning.

It sounds like the OP is really busy and productive in her job, so nit sure why she's getting criticised for where she does that work.

I get up early because I have a diabetic dog to sort out, but then I get my laptop and sit on the sofa with my dog snuggled into me and do whatever needs to be done that morning - including telephone and video consultations with patients, meetings, paperwork etc. As everyone with a dog knows, it's illegal to move when you have a dog snuggled into you so I often stay there for the whole morning before I wash, dress and go to my desk. As I frequently work 12~14 hours a day, then I'd argue with anyone that I'm lazy.

I love my bed . It's my favourite safe space . I live alone and spend an awful lot of time in my bed - I love my bedroom, on my days off I lay in , relax, watch tv , read , love it .
Working days - I do 12 hour days so I get home , bath or
Shower , pjs on , and then bed ! Ironically I dont sleep much 😂

I couldn't do it myself. I'm very much an 'up at 7 and get cracking' sort of person, even when the children were just born and I was home from hospital. I can't motivate myself to do anything unless I've done that.
If it works for you and you get all your stuff done then I guess that's ok. It would drive me insane if I lived with you though!

When I lived at home with my parents I spent a lot of time in my room/bed as it was my space. I could quite happily spend all day in there watching TV with snacks. However, having my own place I refuse to have a TV in my bedroom. I rarely sleep in or laze in bed and when I do, I feel a bit guilty for doing it. My boyfriend can sleep in/laze in bed until dinner time and I absolutely hate it. I feel like he’s wasting the day.

Whatever floats your boat I say. You do you and whatever makes you feel most comfortable.

Me personally, I couldn’t work in bed. I have to physically get up, have a shower and get dressed to feel like I’m in work mode. But also bed is a sanctuary, so I like to separate it from day to day stuff, so that it feels like my go to sleep place.

Thinking about it, even when I’m I’ll, I’ll still go lie on the sofa during the day with a blanket etc, but then go to bed when it’s bed time. Or if I’m having a chill day, I’ll still be on my sofa in my comfies. I think I’m just programmed that way!

Although I do live in a flat, so maybe it’s because everything is already on the same floor, I feel like I need that separation of daily living space and sleeping space?

I would actually take the VIT D deficiency seriously .. as you don’t seem to go ou for fresh air daylight and exercise ..
it sounds quite unhealthy ..
Plus how often do you change the sheets ??

I do a late rise in the morning. Catch up on my reading, which is well behind - my emails etc. If I get up earlier I just mooch around and do nothing with the time except perhaps wash up. When I get up I am able to put a spurt on and catch up with myself and the wasted hour or two. I don't care thought, I live alone and it's my life. Karen

I haven’t read the whole thread so I have my hard hat on, but I have read all of your responses @Thatsthewaytis. For me I find it a bit gross simply because you’re my DP! and I hate getting into a bed that’s unmade or has been used loads during the day because it my space too and it’s taken away any nighttime calm.

You’re working from home and doing the allotted work place tasks. What’s the prob.

If your husband needs to be at his desk, that’s his preference. You’re a grown up.
Just do what makes you happy.