To think it’s fine to spend lots of time in bed!

[Thatsthewaytis]

I spend lots of time in bed and starting to feel like my DH thinks it’s lazy or that it’s not right to do so.

For context we’ve no DC, both WFH full time since March 2020. He is up at 8, out walking the dog, cooking his breakfast and at his desk working for 9.

I get up at 8.30, make a coffee and breakfast, back to bed, switch on laptop and do admin type tasks for the morning (reading work documents, review and comment on people’s work, organise meetings etc etc) then usually get up around 12.30 get dressed, lunch and spend my afternoon at the desk doing data parts of my work that need two screens.

Sometimes DH will walk past and say ‘still in bed’ ‘are you getting up soon’ etc - not in a mean way but just in a way that implies he thinks I’m still in bed.

I mean I am physically but I’ve done a full mornings work same as him.

Also in evenings if he’s heading out for example my preference is usually to get into bed with a cup of tea and watch tv there instead of on the couch - it’s comfier and warmer! He also seems to think I’ve gone ‘back to bed already’. Again technically true - I could be out of bed at 12 and back in bed by 8 when this happens.

Anyone else spend lots of time in bed or would you also think it’s not right? For more context as well, I suffer with back issues and I have an amazing firm mattress so I’m just more comfortable in bed than on a chair or couch.

2 Pre school dc but at any available opportunity (usually once the kids are in bed) I like to chill in bed. I suffer from fibro and it just feels easier

You're happy (I presume) and you're not harming anyone. So, go for it. Stay in bed as long as you like!
Being both happy and harmless is successful living in my view

TracyBeakerSoYeah
I think there's something about bed that is that rest space, but also my main issue if DH did OP's set up is the idea of getting up and not washing until lunch. Getting up, doing things around the house, not getting washed, then getting back into bed where I'd be sleeping later doesn't sound right to me. I don't pass the Mumsnet bedding test because I don't boil wash my sheets every day, but the idea of getting into bed where a grown man has spent most of the last few days louning around, largely unwashed sounds horrible to me.

I used to have a sofa/day bed in my office and quite liked that for comfy working, but always up, dressed and washed.

I love my bed and likewise with no DC get to spend a lot of time in it, but I draw the line at WFH in bed.

I'm back in the office now but for the time I spent at home I had to get up, 'dressed' (often just gym leggings and a giant hoodie) and sat at a table properly as I would be at work.

Weekend mornings are fair game though, and at this time of year I find I'm often getting into bed about 9pm to read. We don't have a TV in the bedroom and I prefer it that way.

It's not good sleep hygiene and it doesn't sound good any hygiene.

You do this every day?

Sounds depressing. Sorry.

I read your post thinking you were spending lots of time in bed with hubby! Seriously though it does seem a lot ,but if you feel more comfy then as long as you have time with dh then no worries. You are not asleep after all

YANBU if you lived alone. Your life, your body, your choice.

BUT I can see why it irritates your DH. It would me, tbh.

Compromise: buy an electric recliner armchair and a cosy throw or duvet, and work from that in the living room. Then he'll stop being irritated and making comments and you will have a peaceful life.

Not only that, but it would be far better for your back.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jan/20/why-you-shouldnt-work-from-bed-and-a-guide-to-doing-it-anyway

@ShirleyPhallus

I’d honestly absolutely make the most of this while you have no kids. Cos when you do, you’ll spend about 5 hours a night in bed asleep and the rest of the time is up / awake / staring obsessively at the monitor etc etc

BUT this is Mumsnet so I’m opening up bingo for:

• it’s a waste of the day
• oh I could never do that, I do my best work at 5am
• anyone who isn’t out of bed by 6am absolute latest is a lazy wench
• do you think you have depression / other mental health issues

Etc etc

This absolutely! and Is this a reverse? Err why! This thread is why Mumsnet has the middle class judgy impression.

I lived with my parents for a few years and the bed is the only place I got peace and quiet. ( cardinal sin I even ate in the bed)

However now I am in bed a lot as its just more comfy. I don't work from home but I prefer to spend holidays binge watching in bed. I do go to the gym and shower twice a day.
Mumsnet is full of sleep snobs and things being done the 1930s way. You would have think they would have realised things evolve and there isn't a perfect routine but this thread shows otherwise.

I see nothing wrong op.

I was going to say isn’t this wrecking your back, but apparently not!

It wouldn’t be for me, but there’s nothing morally wrong with it. No issue at all with you living the way you want to if it doesn’t hurt anyone.

I do most of my reading in bed - I can't really settle to read anywhere else.

the norm was up dressed and at desk for 9 when the commute was involved and you had to be somewhere physically

I always thought the norm was to be up and dressed by around 8am regardless of commute. Unless you’re ill or having a lie in at the weekend.

When I’m WFH I get up at 6am like a normal work day, have breakfast, shower, get dressed, get DC ready, do school run and go to my home office. I just can’t imagine working in bed in my pjs, it wouldn’t feel like working?

When I was a SAHM I was always dressed by 9am, presentable etc in case I needed to open the door/a friend or neighbour came over etc.

When you’re downstairs you tend to get lots of little jobs done while you’re between calls or stretching your legs eg make a coffee so give the kitchen a quick clean and unload the dishwasher, or move some clutter, or give the sink a wipe down as you go, tidy up the shoe rack etc.

Being in bed sounds very inactive, even if you get out for dog walks and Pilates in between.

I get up early, empty the dishwasher, prep the dinner and I often go back to bed with a fresh coffee and a croissant and my laptop.

I listen to music surrounded by fluffy goose down pillows in crispy white bed linen while dealing with all the boring but essential life admin tasks such as car insurance, house insurance, online banking, pensions, investments and emails.

Any task that I am reluctant to start seems much more palatable in a clean bed with a fresh coffee.
I do meet the Mumsnet standard of crispy white bed linen, boiled and changed 2 or 3 times a week and my loungewear is fresh and clean.

OP carry on if you are working effectively , might I suggest the other posters just try it once?
Spending extra time in bed doesn't automatically mean your bed is manky, a clean bed is far more tempting.

@FateHasRedesignedMost

the norm was up dressed and at desk for 9 when the commute was involved and you had to be somewhere physically

I always thought the norm was to be up and dressed by around 8am regardless of commute. Unless you’re ill or having a lie in at the weekend.

When I’m WFH I get up at 6am like a normal work day, have breakfast, shower, get dressed, get DC ready, do school run and go to my home office. I just can’t imagine working in bed in my pjs, it wouldn’t feel like working?

When I was a SAHM I was always dressed by 9am, presentable etc in case I needed to open the door/a friend or neighbour came over etc.

When you’re downstairs you tend to get lots of little jobs done while you’re between calls or stretching your legs eg make a coffee so give the kitchen a quick clean and unload the dishwasher, or move some clutter, or give the sink a wipe down as you go, tidy up the shoe rack etc.

Being in bed sounds very inactive, even if you get out for dog walks and Pilates in between.

"It wouldn't feel like working"

Exactly , it doesn't! All part of the appeal.

@WoodburnersRUs

I would need to be unwell to spend that much time in bed and I would get too hot! But if you like it I don’t see that I’d really affects anyone else.

I get up earlyish at 6.30am to exercise and shower and go to bed early too at 9pm but we have a no devices rule in the bedroom for sleep hygiene. I couldn’t be awake at 8am and not washed and clean.

Sleep hygiene. Mumsnet makes me smile sometimes. It's hilarious

I love my bed, but your routine sounds awful to me. I could not live with someone who spent so much time in bed and pjs. Just my opinion of course.

I could not live with someone who spent so much time in bed and pjs

Lmfaoooo. I just cannot.

It took me around four weeks to get over the super cold virus thing going around, and i got ill after my second covid vaccine so I spent lots of time in bed but it wouldn't be my norm. To echo PP, could you maybe benefit from a multivitamin if you're feeling otherwise OK?

The difference between a bed and a desk is that you don’t then go and sleep at your desk for an additional 8 hours.

If someone said they work from morning to noon at their desk, 8 hour break then at their desk from 8pm until 12 noon the next morning, everyone would say that’s unhealthy and not good practise as it’s too much, so that’s the difference.

@Rainbowheart1

The difference between a bed and a desk is that you don’t then go and sleep at your desk for an additional 8 hours.

If someone said they work from morning to noon at their desk, 8 hour break then at their desk from 8pm until 12 noon the next morning, everyone would say that’s unhealthy and not good practise as it’s too much, so that’s the difference.

People would say that because sitting up at a desk throughout the night would make it impossible to get any quality of sleep. It's hardly a comparison

@Rainbowheart1

The difference between a bed and a desk is that you don’t then go and sleep at your desk for an additional 8 hours.

If someone said they work from morning to noon at their desk, 8 hour break then at their desk from 8pm until 12 noon the next morning, everyone would say that’s unhealthy and not good practise as it’s too much, so that’s the difference.

She doesn't go to bed every night at 8!

Well, I'm just jealous that you can do your job from bed!
I'm not even allowed to wear trainers

this thread makes me happy that there are so many other bed workers.

I tend to get up early and go take the dogs out for a walk. Come back shower get dressed, coffee and then get in my bed to work.

I have an office downstairs too for when I'm interviewing people, doing 1 on 1s, and things like that.

I don't really have a dress code for my employees. Everyone is remote. Just comb hair and wear a shirt/jumper/ t shirt to be covered up, not shirtless.

Sounds a very lazy way to lead your life if you are a young person. If you are over 80 fair enough.