To think it’s fine to spend lots of time in bed!

[Thatsthewaytis]

I spend lots of time in bed and starting to feel like my DH thinks it’s lazy or that it’s not right to do so.

For context we’ve no DC, both WFH full time since March 2020. He is up at 8, out walking the dog, cooking his breakfast and at his desk working for 9.

I get up at 8.30, make a coffee and breakfast, back to bed, switch on laptop and do admin type tasks for the morning (reading work documents, review and comment on people’s work, organise meetings etc etc) then usually get up around 12.30 get dressed, lunch and spend my afternoon at the desk doing data parts of my work that need two screens.

Sometimes DH will walk past and say ‘still in bed’ ‘are you getting up soon’ etc - not in a mean way but just in a way that implies he thinks I’m still in bed.

I mean I am physically but I’ve done a full mornings work same as him.

Also in evenings if he’s heading out for example my preference is usually to get into bed with a cup of tea and watch tv there instead of on the couch - it’s comfier and warmer! He also seems to think I’ve gone ‘back to bed already’. Again technically true - I could be out of bed at 12 and back in bed by 8 when this happens.

Anyone else spend lots of time in bed or would you also think it’s not right? For more context as well, I suffer with back issues and I have an amazing firm mattress so I’m just more comfortable in bed than on a chair or couch.

Do you have a bad back cos you’re always in bed 😂

Nothing wrong with it really it doesn’t make much difference to him, unless what he’s really saying is he wants to spend time with you around even if you’re working.

I would be pissed off he’s not bringing me breakfast in bed though 😆

I've worked from bed all afternoon today! It's warmer for a start. And I can. And nobody would have known if I hadn't just told you lot!

I think I might be worse with my bed then you, especially lately as I’ve just found out I’m pregnant. I think I’m half really tired and half hiding from the world taking it in

To me, anyone who argues YABU does so out of jealousy! You can afford this, have a job that you can do as you are pleased and enjoy it. So what is the matter here? I bet if people would be able to earn money this way, they would do it this way. Otherwise it is all rationalisation (as they will never get that chance so let’s pretend they don’t like it). Don’t even doubt a moment op, enjoy it!!

Even if you have back issues you could still get up, have a shower and get dressed and ready. It would annoy me too, and I think it does sound lazy and it would put me off completely.

OP you are living the dream. Sofas and chairs are no more worthy than beds and desks aren't morally superior to lap trays.
I love bed, sleeps, lie downs, naps everything bed related .
Tell DH to pull his judgy pants out of his arse.

@Winterlights1

Even if you have back issues you could still get up, have a shower and get dressed and ready. It would annoy me too, and I think it does sound lazy and it would put me off completely.

She does ...

If you are being productive, don’t see what the problem is. I like reading and as a PhD student have a lot of it to do. Since we moved to a small flat from a big house I find the best place to read is in bed. So spend a lot of time there. Doesn’t mean I am sleeping my life away. It just seems the most comfortable place to do what I have to do.

My husband often works from home in bed, I've never really thought about it.

Winston Churchill worked from his bed in the mornings.

I have depression and on days when I know my children are being looked after by someone else I will spend literally all day in bed, I might get up to have a coffee but I'm in bed mindlessly scrolling through social media or half paying attention to random videos - I am definitely not being productive and working so i wouldn't say it sounds like depression. I don't see a problem with it (with the situation you described that is - clearly my situation is not good).

I spend more time in bed than I do out of it I watch the in bed too as it’s comfier, I work FT but once I’m home it’s pj’s on and into bed to watch tv or work on college things, my daughter is the same, she prefers being in bed with her laptop, I think it’s just preference tbh. If your happy then that’s all that matters 🙂

I live in my bed , always have.
When I’ve been at work /out and about , i generally come back to my bed.
DH is the same: he’d rather sit in kitchen or living room , but he would not comment on it!! He DOES think it’s mad how much I enjoy a nap, though!
DH is a late-night-rambler lol always rambling about the house until late doing god knows what - but I accept that’s just HIS way …
I have a baby and we have a pj day once or twice a week where we just play and snack , nap and watch films in bed ! I also go to bed with him at 7pm and generally stay there
Have you always done this or just recently? As he may worry if it’s recent ?( DH knows I’ve always been a bed chiller lol )
Is it because he’s like to spend time with you perhaps? As long as you’ve up and had a shower, and changing the duvet when needed : it’s not really up to him. I’d start repeating something similarly ridiculous back to him.
“Oh is that you up and about again? Are you trying to get your steps up?”
He’s not your dad ….

I am a koala bear. I don’t work and don’t have to be up for the kids, so I go to bed at midnight and then have an hour or so of reading, and again at 8-9am followed by a nap till midday. I only leave my bed if I’m going out somewhere - I do all my hobbies and writing etc in bed. Saves electricity on heating and cooling the whole house too.

Mobilising is the key to recovering from back pain.

I just know if someone here posted the same thing but describing their husband, the thread would be full of posts about how lazy and useless he was

I have spent most of my time in/on my bed since March.
I firstly contracted covid, then developed a trapped nerve in my shoulder.
I have very low vitamin D levels and suffer from depression.
I find it very difficult to sleep at night and I'm always knackered.
I'm desperate to get back to being the person I was 2 years ago.

I would love a properly paid wfh job. We should have a list of them....

I would love to do this. All my jobs to date have been "peopley".

I’m in bed whenever I get the chance! It’s my safe place. Comfy and warm. I don’t get up til 12 on my days off and as I work full time I take what little joys I get in life!

I don't work from bed as my WiFi is shit in bedroom lol.. but I do work from the couch all afternoon after desk working in morning. I have terrible joint issues (especially knees) and it is bliss to be able to work from the sofa after sitting in desk chair. By lunchtime I'm in agony. After 25 years full time sitting at bloody desk in office it is so nice to have a choice. It doesn't affect my work in the slightest, actually it keeps me working better in afternoon as I'm not in pain. Do love lying in bed in morning on my day off and also at weekend I love lying in bed reading, it's the only time I really chill out. Each to their own I always say!

I have EDS and Fibromyalgia, currently have 5 slipped discs and 3 areas inc my neck that are basically always in spasm so I know exactly what you mean. Back ache is horrific and anything that means your pain lessens then you should do it and he should support you. X

I love a cup of tea in bed.

Well if I works for you them why not.

Team bed all the way! I have 2 young kids so
It’s a pipe dream for me but if I could I would, I too find it much more comfortable then the sofa, infact I’m sat watching tv in bed now whilst my oldest is reading next to me and my youngest is annoying the cat on the floor.

100% with you on this!! I was definitely like this before I had my baby. Now he goes to bed anytime between 6:30-7:30pm and I'm in my own bed next to his cot from then. I love my bed 🤣

@Fetarabbit

Sounds pretty lazy to be honest, how much exercise do you get in a day?

Out of interest how is it anymore lazy than what her husband is doing? He is sitting at his desk working, she’s sitting in bed working. In the evening he’s lazing in front of the TV on the sofa and she’s doing the same in bed. How on earth is one any more lazy than the other?

To me, anyone who argues YABU does so out of jealousy!
Why jealousy? It seems to be a favourite argument on MN any time people disagree with something.

I'm not jealous of anyone being in bed most of the day and I'd find it grimy if DH slept in our bed, got up, did some house things, went back to bed unwashed, stayed in bed until lunchtime, got washed and dressed, went back to the same bed that he's previously spend all morning unwashed in and all night sleeping in. I'd not want to get back into bed on an evening.
No jealousy here. There's many other comfortable ways of working that don't involve being unwashed and in bed for half a day.