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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s fine to spend lots of time in bed!

328 replies

Thatsthewaytis · 27/10/2021 12:57

I spend lots of time in bed and starting to feel like my DH thinks it’s lazy or that it’s not right to do so.

For context we’ve no DC, both WFH full time since March 2020. He is up at 8, out walking the dog, cooking his breakfast and at his desk working for 9.

I get up at 8.30, make a coffee and breakfast, back to bed, switch on laptop and do admin type tasks for the morning (reading work documents, review and comment on people’s work, organise meetings etc etc) then usually get up around 12.30 get dressed, lunch and spend my afternoon at the desk doing data parts of my work that need two screens.

Sometimes DH will walk past and say ‘still in bed’ ‘are you getting up soon’ etc - not in a mean way but just in a way that implies he thinks I’m still in bed.

I mean I am physically but I’ve done a full mornings work same as him.

Also in evenings if he’s heading out for example my preference is usually to get into bed with a cup of tea and watch tv there instead of on the couch - it’s comfier and warmer! He also seems to think I’ve gone ‘back to bed already’. Again technically true - I could be out of bed at 12 and back in bed by 8 when this happens.

Anyone else spend lots of time in bed or would you also think it’s not right? For more context as well, I suffer with back issues and I have an amazing firm mattress so I’m just more comfortable in bed than on a chair or couch.

OP posts:
SpeakingFranglais · 27/10/2021 21:53

Sounds like about 1500 steps a day. Personally I think it’s lazy, nothing wrong with a very occasional day in bed, but WFH in bed until lunchtime?

Nah, lazy AF.

RacketeerRalph · 27/10/2021 21:56

@SpeakingFranglais

Sounds like about 1500 steps a day. Personally I think it’s lazy, nothing wrong with a very occasional day in bed, but WFH in bed until lunchtime?

Nah, lazy AF.

Eh? How do you work that out? Pilates and dog walking would be more than that.

And if she were sat at her desk? Or the sofa? That's not more steps.

RacketeerRalph · 27/10/2021 21:57

Also, what's wrong with lazy?! It's like people see it as a defect. As long as a person is doing everything that needs doing, what's wrong with lazy?

LolaSmiles · 27/10/2021 21:59

Just out of curiosity (not having a go just trying to understand other peoples way of thinking) if it doesn't affect you or impede on you in anyway then why do you find it annoying@LolaSmiles
In other people it doesn't annoy me because I'm not affected by it. It falls in my 'you do you' category.

I'd find it annoying and off putting if my DH did it because I don't think it's good to be regularly being unwashed and only getting dressed at lunchtime. I don't find the idea of a grown man getting up going about the house, back to lie in bed for a few more hours to be attractive.

I don't even have a TV in my room though. My bedroom is a calming sleep space and the idea of it being a all day lazing space come office is so far removed from how I view my bedroom.

Youdoyoutoday · 27/10/2021 22:00

I'd ache spending that much time in bed. I have to move more

Iamanicepersonreally · 27/10/2021 22:04

I think I'm a bit of a slob, but that's next level. It would annoy me massively if my partner did this.

RacketeerRalph · 27/10/2021 22:07

@Iamanicepersonreally

I think I'm a bit of a slob, but that's next level. It would annoy me massively if my partner did this.
But why? What do you find annoying about it?
Happymum12345 · 27/10/2021 22:07

If you’re content, then I wouldn’t worry what anybody else thought. My only concern would be that you’re getting enough exercise and daylight?

Lotusmonster · 27/10/2021 22:09

@RacketeerRalph

Also, what's wrong with lazy?! It's like people see it as a defect. As long as a person is doing everything that needs doing, what's wrong with lazy?
There’s nothing wrong with it in principle. I think the OP has a job….if she’s on FaceTime or Teams, streaming from bed constantly doesn’t kind of come across as being the most dynamic. She’s got a bad back but she’s not physically ill or bedridden, so why not get up and move around?
TracyBeakerSoYeah · 27/10/2021 22:10

Thanks for replying @LolaSmiles

I think I get it as 🛌 is something we automatically have ingrained in us to think of as sleep/resting even if we are using the bed for something else (not including 'that something else 😉' as other activities)

I totally agree with you on the no tv in my bedroom as I removed ours for peace & quiet. However my logic is flawed as the DC have TVs in the bedroom (but that was from 10yrs old as otherwise I knew they'd have the tv on all night if they were any younger)

Stickyblue1987 · 27/10/2021 22:11

I spent the first lockdown in/ on my bed working as dh was in downstairs reception and dc was in the kitchen/ diner having live teaching lessons. I needed to be somewhere quiet and this was the best place. It was probably one of my most productive times!

TheBlackHeart · 27/10/2021 22:16

@RacketeerRalph

Also, what's wrong with lazy?! It's like people see it as a defect. As long as a person is doing everything that needs doing, what's wrong with lazy?
I love how nobody can actually this 😂
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/10/2021 22:17

I think having the telly on is a step too far! Who can concentrate like that?

TheBlackHeart · 27/10/2021 22:17

can actually answer*

RacketeerRalph · 27/10/2021 22:18

Lotusmonster

The OP says that she gets up, makes a brew and then gets on with work. She then has a shower, makes lunch, returns to doing work.

I get up, have a shower, get to work, make lunch, go back to work. Why does me working at a desk mean I get up and move around more? It doesn't!

TheBlackHeart · 27/10/2021 22:21

@SpeakingFranglais

Sounds like about 1500 steps a day. Personally I think it’s lazy, nothing wrong with a very occasional day in bed, but WFH in bed until lunchtime?

Nah, lazy AF.

Go on, what's the big difference between a desk and a bed? Why is one seen as 'lazy'.
Orla1970 · 27/10/2021 22:22

I love my bed! I work from home but don’t work from bed. I do however, often go to bed at 7. I don’t actually sleep until about midnight but I find it comfier and more relaxing. I watch telly/listen to music/chat to friends and family/do house admin including online grocery shops. Pretty much everything that others do from the sofa. Quite often I’ll spend a day at the weekend mostly in bed. Up to shower, make meals, do housework but inbetween lying on my bed. I have arthritis so find it much comfier. My husband and I watch movies from bed too x

Singinghollybob · 27/10/2021 22:28

I think for me the main issue would be feeling gross if I hadn't had a shower/wash or brushed my teeth before starting work, and working til lunchtime without doing so

Titsywoo · 27/10/2021 22:30

I'd find it very lazy tbh. I'd never be able to do it myself and would get annoyed if DH did it too. I hated WFH last year as we sat around on sofas too much and I just felt lethargic and shit. I need to be fairly physical most of the day and do my relaxing in the evening. It's just the way I was raised I guess. My parents hate laziness.

Allmyprettyones · 27/10/2021 22:33

@Titsywoo

I'd find it very lazy tbh. I'd never be able to do it myself and would get annoyed if DH did it too. I hated WFH last year as we sat around on sofas too much and I just felt lethargic and shit. I need to be fairly physical most of the day and do my relaxing in the evening. It's just the way I was raised I guess. My parents hate laziness.
What’s lazy about it though? She’s doing work!

Jesus! This place …

SisterBeaverhausen · 27/10/2021 22:34

36 weeks pregnant and been on bed rest since 31 weeks. Worked up until last Friday (in bed obviously) I found no issues with separating work/sleep. Although the more time I spend in this room the more I want to decorate.

You're getting out, walking the dog, doing pilates. I think you're fine.

Plus I used to love going to bed early to watch TV. (not now, please for the love of God get me out of bed!!)

abw94 · 27/10/2021 22:42

If I didn't have a child and worked from home I would definitely do this.

I had to work from home when I had covid so I found like you I'd spend my morning in bed then move to a desk for the afternoon.

Idony · 27/10/2021 22:43

Sloppy

Cherrysoup · 27/10/2021 22:58

I think the vast majority of people probably think it’s odd to stay in bed to work. I definitely prefer to be up and dressed, washed, to work. It’s a psychological thing, maybe, but I can’t work in bed, it isn’t comfortable and if I’m in bed, I want to sleep.

Costakiko · 28/10/2021 07:24

@ShirleyPhallus

I’d honestly absolutely make the most of this while you have no kids. Cos when you do, you’ll spend about 5 hours a night in bed asleep and the rest of the time is up / awake / staring obsessively at the monitor etc etc

BUT this is Mumsnet so I’m opening up bingo for:

  • it’s a waste of the day
  • oh I could never do that, I do my best work at 5am
  • anyone who isn’t out of bed by 6am absolute latest is a lazy wench
  • do you think you have depression / other mental health issues

Etc etc

^^this.

Adding to the bingo…

LTB for making those comments.

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