MIL - Who is being unreasonable?

[GivenchyDahhling]

(Just to say this is not a usual MIL thread. Although my MIL is a PITA in a myriad of ways, this is fairly lighthearted although I actually feel kind of sorry for her).

So. MIL (let’s call her June) goes to two bridge clubs, Monday night and Tuesday night. On a Monday night, she gets a lift from her friend who we will call Graham. Graham is, apparently, always moaning about something and I think they have nice little quarrels in the car but, of course, June being June obviously thinks nothing of it.

Anyway.

Yesterday afternoon, Graham rang June and said to her terribly sorry but (someone - friend of Graham ) had tested positive for the old ‘rona, he was isolating and unfortunately wouldn’t be able to drive her to bridge

BIL was at June’s and, feeling that June shouldn’t miss out, offered to drive her.

Well - and I think you can all see where this is going - who do you suppose was there already when June arrive?

It was, of course, that treacherous bastard Graham.

Cue a very awkward evening where June and Graham were pointedly ignoring each other.

Now, my DMIL is not one to be snubbed. Oh no. When she got home she was RAGING. She did, perhaps because of the late hour, decide to sleep on her rage.

The next day - today - she got to work. She rang EVERY SINGLE person in the bridge club individually to inform them of what a two faced lying shitbag Graham was.

After that, she then rang every other mutual connection of theirs. The contractor she recommended to him? Got a call. Her hairdresser? Got a call. The gardener they share (and his dad?) Got a call.

So it’s safe to say that Graham might find himself something of a social pariah come next Monday.

Now I know how MN feel about CFs and lifts generally. I don’t think MIL is a CF, I think Graham lives up the road and offered the arrangement (and, besides, it’s about a 3 minute drive but MIL can’t walk more than a few steps unaided so wouldn’t be able to get there (she has a car but has developed a bit of a fear for it, she’s in her 80s.) I suspect the reason Graham lied is because she drives him up the wall and he wanted out of the arrangement. But it was also a pretty stupid lie and obviously quite embarrassing for her - but bad enough for the nuclear reaction?

YABU - June is a classic CF, Graham obviously had had enough of her and is perfectly within his rights to make any excuse he wants to get out of the arrangement and June is being vindictive and OTT

YANBU - Graham was being a dick to an elderly lady, he got caught out of a stupid lie when he should have just been honest if he didn’t want to drive her and June is perfectly within her rights to seek petty revenge

[gindreams]

@GivenchyDahhling

I really enjoy your writing style

[Mrsmadevans]

Good for Juney! Graham is the CF !

[feelingfree17]

Team June, all the way!

[Totallydefeated]

@EatYourVegetables

This is the single best thing I ever read on MN. The pettiness! The thoroughness! The shortsightedness! If bridge club next Monday was a soap I’d watch it.

Totally agree!

I've had more enjoyment out of this already than one of the epic CF parking threads, and that's saying something.

June reminds me quite a lot of my own East End grandma, who was 4'11" in her size 3 high heels, but a force to be reckoned with if ever crossed.

Placemarking for more June updates. Don't let us down, OP!!

[TheCuntessOfMiddlesex]

#lovingyourworkjune

[Justilou1]

It’s all fun amd games until Junie breaks out the violin case.

[Ughmaybenot]

[quote GivenchyDahhling]@CallmeHendricks

MIL told me it’s cheating, so it’s cheating.

You want to argue with her?[/quote]
😂

Your updates are 👌🏻

[CallmeHendricks]

Next time you catch your mil in a good mood, tell her that if anyone knocks on the table in future, she is well within her rights to ask them what they understand the knock to be for. They have to tell her, and if the subsequent hand doesn't match the bidding convention they've played, mil can take great pleasure in calling the director (and the gardener and half the town) and dob them in.

[GivenchyDahhling]

@gindreams Haha thank you - the majority of this post is adapted, with added name changes, from the series of WhatsApp messages I sent on my family group chat (my side of the family*!), I was typing it out for their benefit and after thought - you know who’d appreciate this? Mumsnet!

*They are used to my tales of MIL’s bonkers behaviour

[ALooseSeal]

I'm so invested for an update.

[SunshineCake1]

I think it is funny what she has done really. Serve graham right. When you're 80 you get to do what you want. She's not caused any real harm.

[frumpety]

As someone who has a Mother who is a June when crossed or even slightly annoyed, I almost feel sorry for Graham. But for the love of God, that was the worst thought out plan ever !

[BurnedToast]

Don't mess with June is all I can say.

[Livelovebehappy]

June sounds delightfully bonkers! I want June to be my mil......

[GivenchyDahhling]

Hmm @Livelovebehappy if you can put up with weekly criticisms since DS was six months old asking why he isn’t potty trained yet, you’re welcome to her 😂

[user1471457751]

While it was a dumb lie, I feel sorry for Graham as your mil sounds incredibly unpleasant. It's weird because if the sexes/ages were different, the reaction on here would be different. No one would be calling a middle aged man a legend for this type of behaviour, it would be all red flags, nasty and stay away.

[Ellmau]

June is awesome.

I hope you never fall foul of her, @GivenchyDahhling.

[JoyceTempleSavage]

@user1471457751

While it was a dumb lie, I feel sorry for Graham as your mil sounds incredibly unpleasant. It's weird because if the sexes/ages were different, the reaction on here would be different. No one would be calling a middle aged man a legend for this type of behaviour, it would be all red flags, nasty and stay away.

OP you forgot the Light Hearted Thread Klaxon Warning

I am ringing everyone you know forthwith

[Megan2018]

YANBU, June sounds fabulous. I intend to be a slightly mad old lady with anger issues myself.

[GivenchyDahhling]

I think @Ellmau she (largely) manages to restrain herself around me because she thinks alienating me would mean she wouldn’t get to see DS who is her only grandchild and she absolutely adores (she had DH very late and he is also a fair bit older than I am, so she became a grandmother quite late and had kind of resigned herself to never being a grandmother; most of her friends have great grandchildren the age of my DS).

[samwitwicky]

I rather like the sound of June.

Screw that Graham!

[derxa]

.

[oakleaffy]

Graham should have been honest-
But June has taken it too far.
Will anyone care wether she got a lift or not?
Does she pay fuel costs?
If not, she should at least offer.

[JudgeJ]

The next day - today - she got to work. She rang EVERY SINGLE person in the bridge club individually to inform them of what a two faced lying shitbag Graham was.

Sounds like a dreadful employee making all these personal calls on the firm's time!

[JudgeJ]

@621CustardCream438

Petty is about right. I’d be seriously embarrassed if I’d called my hairdresser or a contractor who Graham barely knew to complain he had lied to me to get out of giving me a lift. As a gardener I’d not be impressed to be dragged into such nonsense either. It almost sounds like the beginnings of dementia.

On the basis of that kind of behaviour from June my sympathy is with Graham, who was probably trying (hamfistedly) to get out of driving a cantankerous woman he doesn’t like. I don’t imagine June would have taken “Sorry June, I’m not willing to give you a lift anymore” well either. He should have been honest, but June’s reaction is ridiculous.

Totally agree, she sounds ;like the passenger from hell and he glad to be shot of her!