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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MIL - Who is being unreasonable?

198 replies

GivenchyDahhling · 26/10/2021 20:30

(Just to say this is not a usual MIL thread. Although my MIL is a PITA in a myriad of ways, this is fairly lighthearted although I actually feel kind of sorry for her).

So. MIL (let’s call her June) goes to two bridge clubs, Monday night and Tuesday night. On a Monday night, she gets a lift from her friend who we will call Graham. Graham is, apparently, always moaning about something and I think they have nice little quarrels in the car but, of course, June being June obviously thinks nothing of it.

Anyway.

Yesterday afternoon, Graham rang June and said to her terribly sorry but (someone - friend of Graham ) had tested positive for the old ‘rona, he was isolating and unfortunately wouldn’t be able to drive her to bridge

BIL was at June’s and, feeling that June shouldn’t miss out, offered to drive her.

Well - and I think you can all see where this is going - who do you suppose was there already when June arrive?

It was, of course, that treacherous bastard Graham.

Cue a very awkward evening where June and Graham were pointedly ignoring each other.

Now, my DMIL is not one to be snubbed. Oh no. When she got home she was RAGING. She did, perhaps because of the late hour, decide to sleep on her rage.

The next day - today - she got to work. She rang EVERY SINGLE person in the bridge club individually to inform them of what a two faced lying shitbag Graham was.

After that, she then rang every other mutual connection of theirs. The contractor she recommended to him? Got a call. Her hairdresser? Got a call. The gardener they share (and his dad?) Got a call.

So it’s safe to say that Graham might find himself something of a social pariah come next Monday.

Now I know how MN feel about CFs and lifts generally. I don’t think MIL is a CF, I think Graham lives up the road and offered the arrangement (and, besides, it’s about a 3 minute drive but MIL can’t walk more than a few steps unaided so wouldn’t be able to get there (she has a car but has developed a bit of a fear for it, she’s in her 80s.) I suspect the reason Graham lied is because she drives him up the wall and he wanted out of the arrangement. But it was also a pretty stupid lie and obviously quite embarrassing for her - but bad enough for the nuclear reaction? Grin

YABU - June is a classic CF, Graham obviously had had enough of her and is perfectly within his rights to make any excuse he wants to get out of the arrangement and June is being vindictive and OTT

YANBU - Graham was being a dick to an elderly lady, he got caught out of a stupid lie when he should have just been honest if he didn’t want to drive her and June is perfectly within her rights to seek petty revenge

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 26/10/2021 21:42

Well granny June is a force of nature. Mum says salt of the earth is from east end.

Hankunamatata · 26/10/2021 21:43

Plus shes in her 80s, when else can you utterly bat shit stuff

Fiftythreepercent · 26/10/2021 21:45

#fearthewrathofJune Grin

June is the Daenaerys Targaryen of taking it all too far.

Dollywilde · 26/10/2021 21:47

Exactly @Hankunamatata. If I get to 80, I’m going to do exactly what I want, tell everyone the unvarnished truth and give zero fucks as to the consequences. Got to be some compensations of age Grin

JoyceTempleSavage · 26/10/2021 21:47

I hope Graham ensures any pet rabbits are somewhere secure for the next few days

Pbbananabagel · 26/10/2021 21:48

Go June! No one delivers the smack down like a ‘Stow bird scorned! XD

GivenchyDahhling · 26/10/2021 21:49

@ImUninsultable I would be amazed if he didn’t, it’s within a relatively small community. But maybe the pharmacist, librarian and lady behind the checkout in Morrisons were tactful enough not to mention it to him..

OP posts:
Loubiemoo · 26/10/2021 21:50

@Cattitudes

Sounds as if she has just bagged herself a lift and companion for next Monday because you will have to update us on the next episode.
This. You have to go.
PinkStink · 26/10/2021 21:50

How did any bridge get played there last night? The atmosphere must have been as thick as soup.

How did she get home? Was it broomstick BIL?

Bluntness100 · 26/10/2021 21:51

U aibu to be so over invested in your mil social life you’d even start a thread on it, I mean there’s caring and then there is this.

Duchess379 · 26/10/2021 21:53

#TeamJune 😆👍🏼

ANameChangeAgain · 26/10/2021 21:55

June is a legend. I think she fancies Graham but Graham has dumped her to pursue Doris. 🤣

Motnight · 26/10/2021 21:55

June scares me. But I bet she scares Graham more.

ivykaty44 · 26/10/2021 21:55

Graham is a fool,

June doesn't suffer fools gladly

doubt that Graham will learn at his age though

Cuntness · 26/10/2021 21:56

@Bluntness100

U aibu to be so over invested in your mil social life you’d even start a thread on it, I mean there’s caring and then there is this.
I'd much rather this than the numerous "can you see a line" or "not an AIBU but..." that clog this topic.
CallmeHendricks · 26/10/2021 21:56

@GivenchyDahhling

I think it’s probably hit her harder because she generally prefers Monday bridge to Tuesday bridge; all the ‘posh people’ go to the Tuesday game and they have lots of sophisticated advanced rules that they like to use, and do things like sneaky knocks to each other on the table (which is apparently some kind of cheating although I don’t know the first thing about bridge rules).

I would say MIL is like a Daily Mail bingo card of ‘isms, except she stopped her subscription to the Mail several years ago because it got too left wing and now only reads the Express.

I hate to be the party-pooper here, but I'm a bridge player and knocking on the table is not cheating, but an established convention to indicate that your partner's bid is atypical.
GivenchyDahhling · 26/10/2021 21:58

@CallmeHendricks

MIL told me it’s cheating, so it’s cheating.

You want to argue with her?

OP posts:
MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 26/10/2021 22:00

Your MIL rocks #teamjune!

GivenchyDahhling · 26/10/2021 22:00

@Bluntness100 Woah woah woah, me being unreasonable here isn’t one of the options!

I’m a beacon of reasonableness.

OP posts:
TheOccupier · 26/10/2021 22:02

@GivenchyDahhling

I sadly don’t have quite the relationship with MIL to be calling her up for all the drama Monday night.

But DH is taking DS to see her early next Tuesday morning so I’m sure I will have the update then (assuming Graham doesn’t come round begging her forgiveness prior to that of course).

Go June! Can't wait for the update.

(Graham will definitely have caved by then though)

fourminutestosavetheworld · 26/10/2021 22:03

I reckon Graham was the fall guy. Nobody wanted June at bridge and they devised a plan. It would have worked perfectly if it wasn't for pesky BIL.

CallmeHendricks · 26/10/2021 22:06

[quote GivenchyDahhling]@CallmeHendricks

MIL told me it’s cheating, so it’s cheating.

You want to argue with her?[/quote]
Grin Grin Grin

Totallydefeated · 26/10/2021 22:11

I have a sneaky admiration for June and her unwillingness to take this lying down!

FliptheThread · 26/10/2021 22:14

June sounds an authority to be deferred to in all cases. Based on this I can firmly assure you Graham - though hapless - must nevertheless pay the price for his behaviour and as June has declared bridge knocking cheating, so it shall be.

Sparklfairy · 26/10/2021 22:14

This reminds me of a few weeks ago when an electrician contacted me asking to come and do some "maintenance" the next day, less than 24hrs notice (I rent) as he was already doing the flat next door. I work nights and it would clash with my sleep so instead of just saying that like a normal person I told him I was isolating, a complete lie Confused

He then came to do next door the following day. I figured he would be a couple of hours. He took all day. I needed to go out but couldn't as I was "isolating" Grin my cunning plan totally backfired!

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