MIL - Who is being unreasonable?

[GivenchyDahhling]

(Just to say this is not a usual MIL thread. Although my MIL is a PITA in a myriad of ways, this is fairly lighthearted although I actually feel kind of sorry for her).

So. MIL (let’s call her June) goes to two bridge clubs, Monday night and Tuesday night. On a Monday night, she gets a lift from her friend who we will call Graham. Graham is, apparently, always moaning about something and I think they have nice little quarrels in the car but, of course, June being June obviously thinks nothing of it.

Anyway.

Yesterday afternoon, Graham rang June and said to her terribly sorry but (someone - friend of Graham ) had tested positive for the old ‘rona, he was isolating and unfortunately wouldn’t be able to drive her to bridge

BIL was at June’s and, feeling that June shouldn’t miss out, offered to drive her.

Well - and I think you can all see where this is going - who do you suppose was there already when June arrive?

It was, of course, that treacherous bastard Graham.

Cue a very awkward evening where June and Graham were pointedly ignoring each other.

Now, my DMIL is not one to be snubbed. Oh no. When she got home she was RAGING. She did, perhaps because of the late hour, decide to sleep on her rage.

The next day - today - she got to work. She rang EVERY SINGLE person in the bridge club individually to inform them of what a two faced lying shitbag Graham was.

After that, she then rang every other mutual connection of theirs. The contractor she recommended to him? Got a call. Her hairdresser? Got a call. The gardener they share (and his dad?) Got a call.

So it’s safe to say that Graham might find himself something of a social pariah come next Monday.

Now I know how MN feel about CFs and lifts generally. I don’t think MIL is a CF, I think Graham lives up the road and offered the arrangement (and, besides, it’s about a 3 minute drive but MIL can’t walk more than a few steps unaided so wouldn’t be able to get there (she has a car but has developed a bit of a fear for it, she’s in her 80s.) I suspect the reason Graham lied is because she drives him up the wall and he wanted out of the arrangement. But it was also a pretty stupid lie and obviously quite embarrassing for her - but bad enough for the nuclear reaction?

YABU - June is a classic CF, Graham obviously had had enough of her and is perfectly within his rights to make any excuse he wants to get out of the arrangement and June is being vindictive and OTT

YANBU - Graham was being a dick to an elderly lady, he got caught out of a stupid lie when he should have just been honest if he didn’t want to drive her and June is perfectly within her rights to seek petty revenge

[Aquamarine1029]

Graham is an absolute fucking idiot of the highest order, but June, there's a lot to say about old June. She definitely prefers the "scorched earth" approach when handling conflict. Fucking hell.

[Onemorebaby]

Bet Graham was too scared to tell June he didn't want to give her a lift anymore. She would have had him for breakfast!

[GivenchyDahhling]

I think it’s probably hit her harder because she generally prefers Monday bridge to Tuesday bridge; all the ‘posh people’ go to the Tuesday game and they have lots of sophisticated advanced rules that they like to use, and do things like sneaky knocks to each other on the table (which is apparently some kind of cheating although I don’t know the first thing about bridge rules).

I would say MIL is like a Daily Mail bingo card of ‘isms, except she stopped her subscription to the Mail several years ago because it got too left wing and now only reads the Express.

[EatYourVegetables]

This is the single best thing I ever read on MN. The pettiness! The thoroughness! The shortsightedness! If bridge club next Monday was a soap I’d watch it.

[GivenchyDahhling]

@3luckystars Yes, but ‘no’ is a complete sentence whereas ‘I’m isolating due to a close contact’ is a complete lie 😂

[Lindy2]

Graham needs to think through his lies a bit better. That was a rubbish one and very obviously likely to be found out as MIL could find alternative transport.

MIL is understandably pretty pissed off. It's going to be awkward for a while. Graham might have a pretty uncomfortable time but then he did start it with a rubbish lie.

[LizzieSiddal]

June and Graham should apologise to each other as they have both been rather silly.

Can you please update OP, we need to know what happens on Monday

[EatYourVegetables]

stopped her subscription to the Mail several years ago because it got too left wing

I’m terrified of this woman. Does she vote?? Will she condemn us all?

[Thehop]

I bloody LOVE june and thoroughly agree with @EatYourVegetables

[AmyDudley]

Well obviously Graham is a lying cowardly bastard, but MIL sounds like a total psycho. What the hell does she up her game to when someone does something really bad ?

Instead of sitting seething at the bridge game, I'd have gone up to Graham at the end and said 'If you didn't want to give me lifts Graham, you just need to tell me not childishly make up a lie that you have covid'
Because I believe in being straightforward with people.

But then again if your MIL is known for going off the deep end when inconvenienced, perhaps Graham was too scared to talk to her like and adult. More fool him, but luckily for him the Krays are now dead, and he has only been socially rather than actually murdered.

[Cattitudes]

@EatYourVegetables

This is the single best thing I ever read on MN. The pettiness! The thoroughness! The shortsightedness! If bridge club next Monday was a soap I’d watch it.

I imagine there is some poor intern somewhere preparing a pitch and seeking out a suitable club as we speak.

[PegasusReturns]

Having spent a decent amount of time in that neck of the woods I can imagine exactly what June is like

Graham deserves everything he gets for being so goddam stupids

[Disfordarkchocolate]

He was pretty shortsighted but she is deranged. He won't be a social pariah they'll all be thinking he was justified.

[GivenchyDahhling]

@LizzieSiddal

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Sorry. Don’t mind me. Just laughing at the idea of my MIL ever admitting to being wrong about anything 😂

[Carboncheque]

’she stopped her subscription to the Mail several years ago because it got too left wing’

June sounds magnificent. I fear her wrath.

[BillinaTheChickenQueen]

June sounds amazing.
Although Graham is a lying, cheating treacherous bastard, I kind of feel sorry for him.
Can you imagine what’s going to actually happen when she confronts him about it.

[BillinaTheChickenQueen]

@Carboncheque

’she stopped her subscription to the Mail several years ago because it got too left wing’

June sounds magnificent. I fear her wrath.

Same here. I don’t want to get on the wrong side of her and I don’t even know her.

[custardbear]

I'd like to know Graham's side a d why he let her down?! Booty call from another bridge person? Does June offer sexual favours hes too shy to say no thanks ... or som'at else 😮😮😮😵😵😵

[Kite22]

Can't really agree with either of the YABU / YANBUs

Graham really didn't think it through in the first place, did he?
I mean, even if MiL hadn't gone, she'd have mentioned next week that she had missed it as Graham couldn't go due to being in isolation, and everyone would have looked puzzled and said, "No, Graham was here last week".
However she is clearly a complete and utter loon for phoning anyone about it, let alone people she only knows through the fact they have been employed by her at one point or another.

Has she always been this completely irrational, or is it a change in recent months ?

[Unsuremover]

I am #teamJune but only because so many people write off women once they get old. I bet Graham was expecting her to take it lying down and just go to bed with Horlicks and a book instead of setting out to eviscerate him.
May also because my mums aunt at a similar age set about a judge at the county fair who had marked my mum down for using a coloured napkin (when it wasn’t specified on the instructions) including the fact that his wife was having an affair and the judge himself ran away from thr war. No one wanted to tackle the white haired old lady so she just kept going.

[Ughmaybenot]

Hahaha June sounds utterly and hilariously bonkers. I almost admire her completely mad reaction, imagine putting that much time and effort to it all 😂 graham is obviously a wet flannel for not just being straight up but her reaction… stuff of legend 😂

[Ughmaybenot]

I would say MIL is like a Daily Mail bingo card of ‘isms, except she stopped her subscription to the Mail several years ago because it got too left wing and now only reads the Express.
Oh my lord 😂

[hotmeatymilk]

Phoning the gardener’s dad is what elevates it from madness to fine art.

[DowntonCrabby]

Graham is a spineless idiot.

[woodhill]

She sounds nasty, ok Graham was an idiot but he had probably helped her out in the past.m