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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why aren’t you obese?

961 replies

Spottyphonecase24 · 26/10/2021 14:11

A bit of a weird one but I have just got off a zoom call with my therapist. We were talking about my weight (I am obese).

Why isn’t everyone else obese? What stops you? I don’t seem to have an off button. I remember going from a 10 to a 12 and thinking that’s it I’m not going to get any bigger but I did and now I am in a size 24 and they are getting a bit tight. I’ve read lots about how people have their light bulb moment to lose weight and that has not happened to me, or maybe it has and I’ve ignored it.

What stops you eating a tub of icecream or picking up a large bar of chocolate instead of a small one or one bag of crisps instead of a family size bag?

I honestly don’t know the reasons why people don’t eat more. Is it will power, feeling full?

OP posts:
Idontbelieveit14 · 28/10/2021 19:39

I wish I had the answer, I’m obese too. Bigger than I’ve ever been. I hate myself and the way I look, but then I just seem to eat more because I’m miserable.

Idontbelieveit14 · 28/10/2021 19:40

I also know exactly how to lose weight I lost 5 and a half stone a few years ago. I resent people who have never had a weight problem telling us it’s as easy as eating less and moving more 🙄

beautifullymad · 28/10/2021 20:14

@cricketmum84 @MagpieMary

I use a loaf tin liner in a bread tin as I like a deep quiche.

I make it to eye so it's all approximate.

First finely slice onions, I use two large. And sauté them until cooked. This takes ages.

Whist they are cooking tip one cup of ground almonds straight into the liner with salt &pepper. Then drizzle it with olive oil and use a fork to mix. Pat it down firmly using something flat. I use the underside of my cup measure.
Into an oven on 180 for a quick 10 mins. Turn oven down to 60 once you remove the tin.

Chop smoky bacon or left over gammon and fry this off in the sauté pan after the onion.

Grate whatever cheese you have. Approx two cups of grated cheese.

6 large eggs or 7-8 small eggs beaten with salt, pepper, onion powder and 100-150ml double cream.

Layer onions, cheese and bacon and repeat. Then pour over the egg and cream mixture.

In a low oven (60) until it's cooked through by testing with a knife. It takes a good while, I'd say check after 30 mins but usually it's longer. You can open a bit up from the top to check if the egg has set all the way through.

Once cooked, lift out and allow to cool.

It's very low carb and feels like a delicious treat mid afternoon .

MagpieMary · 28/10/2021 20:22

I’m drooling! Thank you!

Ddot · 28/10/2021 20:54

You can make pastryless quiche, mix eggs with cottage cheese. Add whatever you like bacon tomato caramelized onion, put in greased deep dish and top with strong cheese. Its really delicious, I'm a bit sensitive to wheat so like this alot

WouldBeGood · 28/10/2021 21:08

@Ddot that sounds brilliant

cricketmum84 · 28/10/2021 21:30

[quote beautifullymad]**@cricketmum84* @MagpieMary*

I use a loaf tin liner in a bread tin as I like a deep quiche.

I make it to eye so it's all approximate.

First finely slice onions, I use two large. And sauté them until cooked. This takes ages.

Whist they are cooking tip one cup of ground almonds straight into the liner with salt &pepper. Then drizzle it with olive oil and use a fork to mix. Pat it down firmly using something flat. I use the underside of my cup measure.
Into an oven on 180 for a quick 10 mins. Turn oven down to 60 once you remove the tin.

Chop smoky bacon or left over gammon and fry this off in the sauté pan after the onion.

Grate whatever cheese you have. Approx two cups of grated cheese.

6 large eggs or 7-8 small eggs beaten with salt, pepper, onion powder and 100-150ml double cream.

Layer onions, cheese and bacon and repeat. Then pour over the egg and cream mixture.

In a low oven (60) until it's cooked through by testing with a knife. It takes a good while, I'd say check after 30 mins but usually it's longer. You can open a bit up from the top to check if the egg has set all the way through.

Once cooked, lift out and allow to cool.

It's very low carb and feels like a delicious treat mid afternoon .
[/quote]
Sounds absolutely gorgeous! Thank you!

rive · 28/10/2021 21:40

Of course I meant to say a calorie total of 1200 - 1300 per day, not per meal. I was hoping I'd make it back to the site to clarify, if I had made the omission, but I didn't make it in time.

WouldBeGood · 28/10/2021 21:43

I allowed 1900 a day for weight loss 😱

Kitkat151 · 28/10/2021 21:59

@WouldBeGood

I allowed 1900 a day for weight loss 😱
I would gain weight eating 1900 calories a day...I expect you are younger and fitter than me though😁
strivingtosucceed · 28/10/2021 22:09

@BlibBlabBlob

I don't have an off button either. So I gave myself an actual on/off button by taking up intermittent fasting.

I don't make good food choices. Prone to bingeing and not being able to stop once I start eating.

So (except for right now, because I have COVID and it doesn't feel right to fast so much) I have an eating window of 4-6 hours per day. Outside of that, I'm Not Eating. Black coffee and water only. So I don't have to make any food choices at all and there is literally a button on an app on my phone that says I am Not Eating.

Then, in my eating window (which I have in the evening), I don't have to restrict at all. I eat what I want. Sometimes I make good healthy choices, sometimes I don't. But it's enough to keep me reasonably healthy, and a healthy BMI too.

I am convinced that if I didn't have this particular lifestyle, if I tried to start eating every morning with a 'healthy' breakfast etc, I would just keep eating all day and I would become obese eventually.

What I do probably isn't entirely healthy either (not the intermittent fasting - that's been proven to be very good for people, but the fact that I have to hit the 'stop' button on all food instead of eating intuitively). But it's the best way I've found to not think about food all the time and not eat all the time. Because actually, eating all the time and especially eating a lot of junk food just makes me feel rubbish.

This is exactly why I started IF. I AM obese though only for my height as i'm a solid size 12. I have no off button because for some reason I LOVE eating. I eat myself silly sometimes until I feel physically sick (TW i'm a former bulimic so I did make myself sick till I managed to find a way through).

I saw the way my weight was going so decided to only eat 2ce a day and within certain hours so I could manage it. Now I work from home and do no exercise and have managed to keep stable at the 7 or so Kg I gained during lockdown for months now.

At the end of the day OP you need SOME discipline, whether it's to not buy junk food, or portion control, or calorie counting, or fasting or even hiring a chef/meal service to deliver your meals. You have to take responsibility for your weight and find the method that works for you. There is no magic switch.

Lookingoutside · 28/10/2021 22:16

1900 calories per day puts me in a 500 calorie per day deficit. Almost a stone off in 4 weeks.

WouldBeGood · 28/10/2021 22:25

@Kitkat151 I’m just fat 🤣

Aria999 · 28/10/2021 23:06

@Ddot thanks I am minimizing wheat these days and will definitely try that.

I have no idea how many calories I eat and I couldn't care less. My BMI is now 22.3 and I have lost 8lbs since the summer.

As others have said, a diet that is low in sugar and processed foods (because of the vegetable and sunflower oils) and high in good fat and protein, allows your body to reach an appropriate weight set point using its own self regulation mechanisms.

coogee · 28/10/2021 23:10

1900 calories per day puts me in a 500 calorie per day deficit. Almost a stone off in 4 weeks.

That’s an impressive weight loss.

1900 calories a day is 100 more than I need to maintain.

Lookingoutside · 28/10/2021 23:23

@coogee

It will come down as I lose weight and I expect the rate of loss will slow down. I’m nearly 5ft 10 and I think height has a lot to do with calorie allowance and deficit.

rive · 29/10/2021 00:20

1900 calories per day, in my experience, is way more than needed for a post-menopausal woman.

JaceLancs · 29/10/2021 00:27

I’m overweight at present but not obese - blaming lockdown and am dieting to resolve
My main reason for staying at a good weight for me is that despite how much I enjoy food and drink I enjoy feeling and looking good more
I could eat endlessly and rarely feel full but know I can’t do that
Not having stuff in house helps
I have bad IBS and going gluten free and restricting other triggers have helped so that motivates me more as I can convince myself easier that not only is it bad for my weight it will make me feel unwell too

SerenTarot · 29/10/2021 00:29

Just three meals a day for me. I just stopped eating between meals.

I have porridge or a banana and some yoghurt for breakfast, a sandwich and a piece of fruit for lunch and then dinner early evening. Then I don't eat anything else until the following day.

I don't feel tempted to eat crisps or ice cream because I don't buy them. My sons a chocoholic so I'll buy a bar for him but that's it.

I'm lucky that I don't have a sweet tooth and if I have a weakness it's Italian food - pizza, pasta so I'll have that as an occasional treat with a glass or two of red.

I could really stuff myself but I don't want to get fat so I avoid temptation and just stick to my three meals.

heefer · 29/10/2021 00:35

I was bulimic as a teen, in my 20s I was stick thin as I barely ate anything, in my 30s I finally thought I'd got a grip on it, 2 kids and a pandemic later I am two stone overweight. I no longer get the 'full' feeling. I ordered Orlistat as a final attempt to lose this extra weight as I just can't stick to any diet. I really don't know what I'll do if this doesn't work. Anyone else used this and had good results??

KinkyKardashianKult · 29/10/2021 01:02

I'm obese with BMI of 33- would love a meal plan I could easily follow- when you lovely thin people say "don't eat processed food" do you mean things like cereal, bread, jar pasta and curry sauces, gravy granules etc etc or do you mean ready meals?
Also would someone share typical meal plans, the higher protein with load of veg, something that is simple but varied,
I would love to have someone design a fool proof plan- have bought many from the internet- but the ones I have are more American based (I in uk) and will require fridge to be stuffed and scared will be significant food waste.

Aria999 · 29/10/2021 01:35

@KinkyKardashianKult

Could be either. If the ingredients include anything you wouldn't actually cook with (weird name chemicals) or if they have any oil except olive oil or cold pressed rapeseed they are basically a no.

Come chat to us on this thread if you want advice about this way of eating

Why We Eat (Too Much) Thread 4 http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weightlosss_chat/4332041-Why-We-Eat-Too-Much-Thread-4

Glitteringduck · 29/10/2021 02:39

I just don't want to be obese so I don't buy foods that are bad for me. However on rare occasion I can ingest huge amounts of food after smoking upon the devil's lettuce.

Lookingoutside · 29/10/2021 04:16

‘1900 calories per day, in my experience, is way more than needed for a post-menopausal woman.’

@rive was that to me? I’m not in menopause or peri and I weight train 4 times per week.

Athrawes · 29/10/2021 05:19

Honestly, I would love to sit down right now and have a pizza, fries and ice cream washed down with a few beers.
Nothing tastes better after 6 hours wrangling stroppy teenagers (teacher) than chicken nuggets and red wine.
But I know I will loathe myself when I see what the result is on my body.
So I eat one nugget and a glass of wine and a bucket of salad.

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